As a Protestant, I’m not a believer in the whole “Pope as conduit to God” thing that my Catholic buddies like Frank do. Like the Jews, we believe that the true conduit to The Divine is through the Ark of the Covenant (which is why Lucas and Spielberg are such good friends)
I really like the Pope because he stood up to the Soviets as Pope and in his pre-Pontiff days he fought against the Nazis in WWII.
Sounds like a good guy to me, and I’m praying for the Pope to get well soon. His condidtion has apparently stabilized now but there was a point when he was on a feeding tube…
…considering what happened today in Florida it’s good thing the Pope ain’t married.
Archive of entries posted on March 2005
Announcment Soon
Swarming Sharks!
Hello, Aquafans.
I was all down after those Congressional hearings about drug use by superheroes, when I heard about swarms of sharks closing beaches in Florida.
Am I wrong, but doesn’t this sound a lot like a job for…
RWD’s News Round-Up, Thursday
Hello,
I’m RightWingDuck. And I’m here to share the news.
I’ll start today’s Round-Up with some sad news.
Terri Schiavo passed away this morning. There was a lot of controversy over this case. Her parents stated that Terri wanted to live. Her husband, Michael, said that she really wanted to die.
Rest in peace, Terri.
In other news, the Pope is getting nutrition through a feeding tube placed in his nose.
Michael Schiavo today announced that the Pope once told him he wouldn’t want to be kept alive through artificial means.
The ACLU is filing suit at the Vatican to ensure religious extremists do not get involved.
The Minuteman project is almost underway in Arizona.
A group of 1,000 or so volunteers will sit across a stretch of the Arizona Mexico border and watch for illegal alien crossings. They will be there with radios, cell phones, and their vehicles.
Think about it: Over 600 cars, in a line, for over a month.
So it’s just like the LA commute, only faster.
The ACLU is fiercely opposed to all of this activity. They feel it is not fair to turn anyone away, unless they’re wearing a a t-shirt with the Ten Commandments.
The Minutemen insist that they are only there to observe. They will call for Border Patrol to come pick them up. In the meantime, they’ll report and track all those crossing into the US.
“Yep, I see one crossing. Yep, I’m following him.”
Later–(on the phone)
“Okay. He found a job and is staying with friends.”
Later–(on the phone)
“Yep, he found his own place. Hurry.”
Later–(on the phone)
“He’s getting married. She’s illegal too. We’ve got ’em both. Hurry up and grab ’em.”
Later–(on the phone)
“I’m still watching. Hurry up, she’s going into labor.”
Later–(on the phone)
“I’m passing this one off. I’ve been arrested for stalking. They say I violated their rights. No, I can’t escape to Mexico. I don’t have a visa.”
Knowing When to Say Goodbye
An Editorial by Frank J.
If you ever want entertainment, find some Democrats trying to figure out what they need to do to regain the public’s respect and win elections. It’s like a bunch of schizophrenics trying to diagnose themselves:
DEM1: Our problem are the giant beetles running around everywhere screaming nursery rhymes!
DEM2: No, that’s just a distraction from the fact that Jesus has appeared to us as a chipmunk and wants us to bring him crackers.
DEM3: We have to stop talking about that because that just gets us in trouble. Let’s stick to the core issue of how everyone’s face is melting.
“People are about as likely to trust Democrats to handle the evils of the world as I am to trust my kitten to guard my house.”
For example, here’s Kevin Drum trying to relate all the hot-button social issues. Though he can’t fit guns and school prayer into the meme, he says that sex education, abortion, sex/porn on TV, contraception, gay rights, and welfare (?) all are sex/gender issues and thus Democrats need to focus more on “gender equality” (whatever that buzzword is supposed to mean).
Now, if he only listed the issues as:
* Guns
* School prayer
* Sex education
* Abortion
* Porn on TV
* Use of contraception
* Gays’ rights
* Welfare reforms
He could have fit them all together in that they all have an even number of letters and ranted about how that relates to some Rovian, Xian scheme. Then his post would have been a full-out parody instead of just on the edge of one.
And Kevin Drum is the sane one of the major liberal bloggers. Atrios and Kos think the main problem with the Democrats is that Howard Dean didn’t scream loud enough in Iowa.
Incidentally, Drum stumbles onto the real problem of the Democrats when he notes here how whomever has the lead on what is polled as the most major issue almost always wins the presidential election. Last year, the salient issue was terrorism which Bush had a 17 percentage point lead on. Drum’s remedy is to find the top issue and focus on that. What he skips over is that there is no way the Democrats can win if the main issue is terrorism or any other major national issue. The Democrats are a bunch of namby-pambies; they’re good for whining about “fairness,” but that just doesn’t work in a world with savage killers whom we want great unfairness inflicted upon. People are about as likely to trust Democrats to handle the evils of the world as I am to trust my kitten Sydney to guard my house.
It’s time for Democrats to face up to reality. They can’t face up to reality because Occam’s Razor cuts too deeply – that being the fact they just plain suck. They had a great run, though – hell, they were the majority party for almost all of the last century – but there time has come and gone. The best thing for them to do is disband. They can form a little clubhouse, remember the good ‘ole days, and stop running for office and just making fools of themselves.
Maybe in fifteen years or so they could do a reunion tour. I bet I’d laugh and applaud to see Ted Kennedy come out on stage and shout, “That tax cut is only for the rich!” after having not heard that phrase for over a decade. We’d all look to each other and remember back in the day when they would say that and meant it seriously.
My future children would probably look to the Democrats prancing on stage and ask, “Who are those people, daddy?”
“Those are the Democrats,” I’d answer, “They used to be elected to government.”
My kids would laugh, thinking their dad was teasing them again. And I’d leave them to their innocence.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is the author of such books as “Remember the Whigs?” and “The Democrat Buzzword to English Handbook”.
“as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me”
The controversy ends for one.
Matthew 25:42
for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink;
My Poor Monkey Cat!
Just dropped off Sydney to be spayed. All the way to the vet she kept making the most pitiful little monkey-squeak as if to say, “Please throw me in a bog instead!”
Well, can’t pick her up until tomorrow morning. Now who will claw at my toes while I try to sleep?
Anyhoo, didn’t get all the cat-monkey pictures together I wanted, so cat blogging will be delayed for a bit – for those who cared.
UPDATE: I got a call from the surgeon that the procedure is done and Sydney is okay and all you commenters can shut up.
Links of the Day
John Hawkins has FAQ about Terry Schiavo.
Nick of Libertarian Librarian links to a site that shows what librarians do in their spare time. I’m afraid. 🙂
That’s all for tonight. Be honorable and all that, ronin.
Signs That the Terrorists Are Losing
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
More than two years have passed since the beginning of the Iraq War, and despite the elections and evidence of democracy’s budding greenery around the Middle East, some people still aren’t quite sure who’s winning.
Some people are dumbasses.
If you know someone tragically afflicted with dumbassery, it may be helpful to refer them to this list (in the extended entry) of:
La Shawn Barber on MSNBC
La Shawn Barber did a blogosphere roundup on MSNBC today and was sweet enough to mention our engagement! Trey Jackson has the video.
Old Media Take Notice of New Media Marriage
Well, the new media versions of the old media, that is.
MSNBC.com’s Clicked takes notice of my proposal.
So does Howard Kurtz of the Washington Post and CNN’s Reliable Sources, except his remarks could almost be construed as negative. Michelle Malkin kept hounding him until he finally mentioned the phony Republican talking points memos; maybe she can stay on him until he gives me and SarahK proper congratulations.
In My World: Answers of Fury
“Why does it look like President Bush’s Social Security plans won’t be passed?” asked a reporter, “Is it because you’re so fat?”
“I’m not fat!” White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan exclaimed, “And the Social Security plans will be passed.”
“Is it because you’re in denial of being fat then?”
“Argh!” Scott exclaimed and stormed away. “The press are being mean to me!” he yelled as he entered the White House. He then noticed Bush was spraying the interior with something. “What are you doing?”
“I’m spraying the White House with monkey poison,” he explained, “I’m pretty sure a monkey bit me while I was sleeping, and I don’t want any monkeys in my house.”
“A monkey did not bite you!” Laura Bush exclaimed, “You just imagined it!”
Bush kept spraying. “I can’t take that chance!”
“I need some advice on how to deal with these mean, stupid reporters.”
“I’m busy,” Bush answered, “Ask Rummy.”
“Rumsfeld, I need some advi…”
An empty whiskey bottle broke against his face.
“Ahh! Sorry!” Scott yelled as he clutched his wound. He then saw Condoleezza Rice walking by. “Could you help me with…”
A knee to the groin dropped Scott. “Busy,” Condi said as she kept walking by.
“Hah hah,” came a laugh from nearby, “If you only had more respect, you could be a door mat.”
Scott looked up to see Zatoichi, blind swordsman, standing above him and poking Scott with his cane. “I thought we fired you,” Scott answered.
“I never saw a pink slip,” Ichi answered, “Hah hah.”
“Can you help me, Ichi-san?” Scott answered as he stood back up.
“You are the one who can help you the most,” Ichi answered, “but you are dumb and fat, so I help you anyway. Hah hah.”
“What can I do?”
“You must train to gain respect. I will send you on journey – great mystic quest – and you will emerge from it a true Press Secretary.”
“Why’s everything with you have to involve a mystic quest?” Scott groaned.
“You know, Chomps, you’re not much of a guide when you keep walking behind me and attacking me randomly,” Scott said as he wandered through the desert.
The rottweiler growled at him.
“Not that I’m criticizing you,” Scott added as he sped up his pace. He then spotted a great temple ahead of him. “What a sight!” Scott exclaimed, “It must be as old as… AHH! GET OFF MY LEG!!!”
Chomps stopped biting Scott to look up and see the temple. He then ran towards it to attack it.
As Scott got up, he saw an ancient looking man standing at the temple’s entrance. “Who are you, fat man?”
“I am Scott McClellan, humble press secretary,” Scott answered, bowing ceremoniously, “I come to you for training.”
“So I see,” answered the elder. He looked to Chomps who was chewing at the brick exterior of the temple. “Your dog seems to hate temples.”
“He’s not my dog,” Scott stated, “and he hates everything. Sometimes he goes to church, looks to the heavens, and snaps at God.”
“Such is his way then,” the elder answered, “Let us go inside.”
The main room of the temple was filled with mosaics of kung fu masters wiping out enemies armed with pens and notepads. “Throughout history,” the elder spoke, “there have been many dumb emperors. Then there were those who would demand answers for the emperors’ actions. It was the charge of our order – the Bronze Mongoose – to destroy with great vengeance all who questioned the emperor.”
While awe inspiring, the temple interior also looked old and deserted. “What happened?” Scott asked.
“A student of mine, Shen Po, was drawn in by the dark siren of the liberal media. He became a reporter himself, and defeated all in the order of the Bronze Mongoose until only I remained.”
Scott kneeled before the elder. “There are many who question my master and his stupidity, and I need the power to strike them down. Will you train me?”
The elder brushed his hand through his beard. “Perhaps even a chubby man like you can be taught to defeat your questioners. It will take many years of training before you are ready.”
“I only have four hours before I need to get going to be ready for the next press conference.”
“Well, most of the years of training was just filler, anyway. Let’s get started.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
RWD’s News Round-Up, Wedesday
Hello,
I’m RightWngDuck. I’m here to share the news.
The report is out on the UN Oil For Food Scandal, and Koffi Annan is faulted but not blamed for the actions of his son.
Makes perfect sense.
President Bush gets blamed for the actions of our Abu Grahib soldiers, but that doesn’t mean that Kofi should be blamed for the actions for his own son!!
They should blame his parents. Oh.
Kofi’s son, Kojo, was paid thousands of dollars by Cotecna to help mismanage the Oil for Food program. Of course, trouble quickly followed.
Kofi should give him a job that keeps young Kojo out of trouble. Like, working with the UN troops. He should visit the Congo.
The Congo. Where the UN helps makes every night, ladies night.
“Although Tuesday’s report found no wrongdoing by Kofi Annan, it clearly faulted the secretary-general’s management of the world body and his oversight of the oil-for-food program.”
So, he’s not officially blamed. But that’s just a Cotecna-cality.
BTW, I do believe it’s the first UN Report to have 10 pages of Annan family pictures.
Cat Blogging to Come!
“Yay!” I can hear you all yelling, “More pictures of cats! That’s all I ever wanted! That is all I exist for!”
Anyway, to tide you over, here’s a picture of me with my stupid monkey cat.
I Have an Actual Reason to Hate President Bush
There are a lot of people who hate bush for idiotic and imagined reasons. Now, some conservatives don’t like him for some fiscal policies, but, of course, the left hate him viscerally for tinfoil hat reasons that Bush and Rove are plotting to destroy the earth and enslave everybody. Those people froth at the mouth at the mention of Bush. They’re convinced freedom to dissent is being quashed even though no one is stopping them from babbling like idiots.
Actually, of all these haters I’ve seen, they all hate for things they think Bush is doing or will do, but none have actually been personally affected in any significant way by Bush’s policies to bring any credit to their rancor.
I, on the other hand, am affected quite personally by Bush’s policies.
Continue reading ‘I Have an Actual Reason to Hate President Bush’ »