“…and that’s why I think we have a real plan for Iraq,” Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice told the Foreign Relations Committee.
Her words were met with laughter.
Condi looked around with confusion. “What?”
Senatorette Barbra Boxer looked down upon Condi with scorn. “Really, do you think that in this day and age, with as advanced as we are as a society, that we’ll sit here and listen to the opinions of a childless black woman?”
Condi was taken aback. “Um… I’m not following.”
“I think my point was very clear!” Boxer shrieked. “If you don’t understand it, it’s too bad you don’t have children who can explain it to you like mine showed me how to use a Tivo. Anyway, I don’t see any further reason to listen to you on this subject.”
“So what your saying is that, even though I have a Ph.D in political science, was a professor at Stanford, was the National Security Advisor and am currently the Secretary of State, I can’t offer an opinion on foreign affairs because I lack children?”
“Exactly! Do you know why, Madame Secretary, we made Representative Nancy Pelosi Speaker of the House?”
Condi thought about that. “I’m going to guess it’s not because of qualifications or personality.”
“It’s because she’s a grandmother!” Boxer said and pounded the table. “Only someone with lots of children can understand that it better to pretend we’re safe now and do nothing than to go out there and stop probable future attacks. It’s simple head in the sand thinking that a barren Negress just wouldn’t understand!”
Condi looked around her table.
“What are you doing?” Boxer demanded.
“I’m trying to find something to throw at your head… something less cumbersome than a chair…”
“I’m just speaking truth to power!” Boxer shouted. “And, as a Senator from the most heavily populated state in America, you must listen to me!”
“Speaking truth to power to would be one of California’s overtaxed citizens telling you your haircut is kinda dykey.” Condi continued to fiddle with something on the table.
Boxer put her hands on her ears. “You don’t have children so I can’t hear you! La la la… AHHH!”
“Senator Boxer became knocked unconscious when a microphone stand became loose during a Foreign Relations Committee meeting,” the FOX News anchor stated. “She is wished a slow recovery. Now stay tuned for an hour of Bill O’Reilly yelling at people!”
“I’m going to guess it’s not because of qualifications or personality.”
This line had me laughing so hard that the little cinnamon hearts I’m eating almost caused me to choke!
Heh.
“I’m trying to find something to throw at your head… something less cumbersome than a chair…”
THROW THE CHAIR!! Come on! Go ahead and throw the chair!
“It’s simple head in the sand thinking that a barren Negress just wouldn’t understand!” Screamingly funny! Good job, Frank!
Brilliant! Once again your genius shines through. You should put these things in a book.
Okay, I’m done sucking up now.
It’s not that bad, but it does cause one to question Boxer’s discipline to relevancy.
http://www.nelsonguirado.com
http://www.nelsonguirado.com/index.php/asymmetric/2007/01/12/on_barbara_boxer_and_rice
I know I am old and well getting older but I do believe that is the 1st time I have heard the term negress. To think it was about a democrat saying it..LOL
I Heart IMW’s. Yay FrankJ!
Everyone in my office is staring and wondering why I’m laughing and choking at the same time.
God, that was funny!!!
“She is wished a slow recovery.”
You forgot “and excruciatingly painful.”
Man, that would have been perfect as a pay-per-view.
Condi might have added “Sure, your grandkid’s too young now, but he’ll be draft age when we have to go back and fight a much bigger war, a possible world war, thanks to the white flag you want to wave now.”
Then she should’ve hurled the chair…
“Senator Boxer became knocked unconscious when a microphone stand became loose during a Foreign Relations Committee meeting,” the FOX News anchor stated.
—or was it the FOX News anchor???
It is amazing how important education is to the Democrats and what a hypocrisy thist hearing was. I think we should get rid of Condi and bring in Brittany Spears because she is a mother. It reminded me of ponytail guy asking Clinton to think of us as your children crap.
Great work again, Frank (spoken as I’m picking myself off the floor)!!!
Condi must have more self control than I, as just the sight of Baaaaahhhhhbra Boxer makes me want to throw something at her…most preferably a tomahawk!
Why is it that every time I hear the phrase, (in a shrill whine) “But…what about our children?!?” I can hear the Constitution being shredded and see the tax-o-meter spinning out of control?
shimauma: You’re 14 Moonbunny, what about the children?
Moonbunny: I hate little kids.
shimauma: That’s what I thought.
Someone please tell the Democrats that Foreign policy has something to do with protecting the United States from foreigners. I may have this wrong, but it seems as if they think Republicans are the single greatest threat to national security and that ruthless dictators who daily call for the downfall of the United States should be given our sincerest apologies for provoking them with our presence. I don’t like George Bush either, but does the phrase “Having your priorities ass backwards” have any meaning.
Instead of appeasement maybe Barbra Boxer should try something a little more abrasive against Ahmandinejad and his Iranian boys. If threatening to bomb them doesn’t appeal to her, at least she could sing “I am woman” at the top of her lungs while beating her chest than wail on him like a wife who has just caught her husband nailing the baby sitter.
I don’t know if such a spectacle would intimidate Ahmandinejad but I’m already intimidated by the mere thought of it.
The best IMW in a long time. DemoCRAPs seem to not understand that Teddy Roosevelt described foreign policy best,”…walk softly and carry a big stick…”.
You would think that someone who has as much to lose as Senator Bozoer would be in line right behind the President.
Once Sharia law is imposed through out the world:
The Senator won’t be Speaker of the House- She won’t be able to either speak or leave her own house without her husband. (instead of hunky secret service guys) There is an up side, at least the rest of the world will be spared her inane opinions and her screeching delivery not to mention the pluses of the veil. ( at least in her case)
And since she’s well past child bearing years that means her hubby can go out and get a new and improved model to procreate with. They will all live in a single hovel, together, won’t that be cozy? Although that any young woman in her right mind would be involved with those two is beyond me.
Wait, that’s right women are property, therefore the girls male relatives can sell her to the highest bidder. Just like a slave auction in the 17th century. Luckily Nanc is too old for that but I’m sure her granddaughters will have bunches of fun.
Condi should have told her she “chose” not to have children “and isn’t that what your party stands for?”
did this actually happen? i haven’t seen the news lately, and it sounds totally believable!
so funny! Franque Jay is a jenius!
The Puppy Blender put “Chronicles” up as one of his “In the mail” books, but linked to Amazon instead of NTM. Might want to look into that Frank!
I am curious.
She (Boxer) has already stated that her offspring have never served in the military, but does anyone know if she ever had an ancestor that served this country in the military?
Or have they always simply watched and kibbitzed?