Archive of entries posted on 16th January 2007

American Idol Season Six premier – DVR delayed liveblog

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It’s almost 9, and I’m just now starting.
They’re going through all the big stars that came out of Idol heretofore, and I’m with them until they make me laugh with Kellie Pickler. She’s a household name, alright. I have a CD clock with her face on it, even!
So first they went to Minneapolis, and Jewel is a guest judge on the panel. And the first girl they showcase is a crier. Jessica Rhode. Jewel is very gracious for as long as she can stand it. It was not so good. Ok, it was actually in tune, there was actually a melody on key, but the tone quality of her voice was just… bad. And the contestants need to know by now that they should not sing an artist’s own song in front of the artist. Ever. “I’m not gonna stop.” Please do. She was cute, though.
So… did Cadet Happy go down and audition when they had the Minneapolis auditions? I know he’s twice the age limit, but maybe he could fake it.
Troy Benham is the Amish joke singing some song about spit dripping in someone’s face.
The next Carrie Underwood? No, but maybe that girl they rejected could be the next Kellie Pickler!
Jesse Holloway. I know someone with that name. Anyway, oh. My goodness, he’s singing the Titanic song. Badly. Airily. And he’s asked for a water break two lines in. And it is not better when he comes back. Even Paula rubs her temples. Frank says she’s trying to get her brain to work.

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What’s Making You Mad?

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It’s been slow news lately and I just haven’t been getting too inspired (despite the occasional hilarious mass e-mail from Democrats.com). So, once again, I’ll do what almost never works and ask you, my readers, for ideas. Specifically, what’s making you maddest in politics right now? And you can’t all pick Muslim terrorists, so try and be more specific on your answer. If I get some good ideas, I’ll then make fun of what your mad at and make you happy. It’s a basic humor equation:
A x R = L + H
A = Subject or Person that Makes You Angry
R = Ridicule
L = Laughter
H = Happiness
When something that makes you angry gets hit with witty ridicule, you laugh and become happy. That’s a super scientifical fact since I wrote it in equation form. Will call it the Fleming Anger to Happiness Conversion Theorem (Simplified).

President Obama

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While I think American would have elected a qualified black president years ago if one ran, I’m not sure America is ready for a president named “Obama.” Seriously. I think his name is going to be a bigger problem than even a liberal voting record. Eventually, as a society, we will mature and be able to elect a president named Obama, but I really don’t think we’re there yet.
On the other hand, do you think the nation can be led by a guy named “Mitt”?