Since Obama had no teleprompter at his meeting with Bush, I assume the President did all the talking, and I futher assume that most of the following were said at some point:
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* “I had a help-I’m-choking-on-a-pretzel alarm install under the Oval Office desk, but you can use it as a bucket-stuck-on-my-head alarm if you want.”
* “Congrats on your 70% approval rating. I was at 90% once. Change happens.”
* “On January 20th, tell your transition staff to bring a lot of “O” keys.”
* “Keep Ayers away from the Pentagon.”
* “If you close down Gitmo, you’ll never get Nicholson back for A Few Good Men II: Jessup’s Revenge
* “Seriously, it stands for Useless Nitwits. Check the charter.”
* “I had to learn this the hard way, but apparently ‘we want to work together’ is French for ‘shut the @#$% up and do as you’re told’.”
* “TANSTAAFL. Google it.”
* “Instead of bailing out the auto industry, have a campaign fundraiser and spread the wealth to them. I’m sure Good Will & Doodad Pro would be happy to kick in a few mil.”
* “You’ll probably just have to learn to live with the leaky toilet in the West Wing. Next time don’t take the plumber vote for granted.”
Anybody else overhear anything?
* “Help! Rove stuck a bucket on my head!”
Pin heads of the world unite. The man who destroyed the party and the man who will destroy the country.
I’m just a tad bitter. I’m sure it will pass.
That was a good one, but you only listed things that Bush would say to Obama. How about some of the questions Obama would ask Bush? Here are a couple:
7. Where’s the best place to set up a teleprompter?
6. Are the windows bucket-proof?
5. I know we have a big red button that launches nukes at other countries, but do we have one that’ll launch the nukes of other countries at ourselves?
4. The seal looks a little dull. Do you know where the nearest arts-n-crafts store is?
3. When’s nap time?
2. Which wall has the secret room that I hide in if things get too scary?
And the top thing that I heard Obama say to Bush (see below the fold)
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1. Would you like some hand-sanitizer?
Bush: “Never wipe boogers under the desk. the cleaning crew really hates that.”
Obama: “Where can I set up Bill Ayers’ cot? He likes to sleep over on Friday nights. We eat s’mores and dress up in Michelle’s dresses and sing songs from Grease.”
No, there’s not a sooper sekrit weather control program, and I don’t care what they told you in New Orleans.
No, rly, wht part of Ireland are u from?
Other admonishments that Bush offered Obama:
* No, you can’t turn the White House kitchen into a Waffle House.
* Your new dog will have to sleep outside; pet dander is now considered a dangerous white substance that confuses the White House dogs sniffing for Anthrax.
* I already ordered the janitor to lower the basketball hoop in the White House gym. No problem.
* If you’d like, I’ll have the kitchen switch to all-organic chicken and peanut oil.
* I also ordered the staff to switch all automatic toilet paper dispensers to feed from the left side. For the really old holders, we’ll switch the TP to the proper ‘underhand style’ right before you move in.
* Oh – if Michelle is thinking about redecorating… Forget it. You won’t be here that long.
Which one of these guys did the liberals compare to a chimp before?
ooh one has to wonder why they needed hand sanitizer after their first meeting. Maybe it was one of those senatorial reach across the aisles. Where is Monika when you need her….Oh wait. He’s a senator. They don’t like girls.
There is too a weather machine! Bush turned it on New Orleans in 2005 to plague the protected class. Bush likes to benchtest the weather machine on ‘Godlike’ settings. Next? Earthquake / volcano machine.
“Get the @#$% out of my driveway, you Dumbo-eared, socialist pussy.”
Bush: I’m takin’ the Oval Office chair with me. The spinnin’, rock-em sock-em kiddie throne is over there, in the Time Out corner. Y’okay with that?
Bush: I’m takin’ the Oval Office chair with me. The spinnin’, rock-em sock-em kiddie throne is over there, in the Time Out corner. Y’okay with that?
Obama: How much for the chair, Opie? I haven’t paid all my campaign aides yet. I’ll take your twins, too. I’m still a little short on the 72 virgins in heaven. Haha, Opie. Little def comedy jam coming atcha! What, no smile??
* “That’s not a halo, it’s a giant magnifying glass. You are an ant. Your ass will soon be hotter than Amy Winehouses’ crack pipe on a Saturday night.”
I wonder what Obama is planning to do with all those portraits of the previous presidents?
Burn them?
Why is Nostradamus still relevant, Mabush used to be attributed to a mix between Osama and Bush. Obama can still meet the same criteria. I’ve heard that Nostro has been discredited, and it might be true, I’ve never seen any real evidence, but the coincidence sends a chill up my leg, I mean spine.
Bush; The way you cross your legs tells me a lot about you. You must be hung like a new born kitten.
O: Can I see ‘The Book of Secrets’?
B: What ‘Book of Secrets’?
O: You know, like in that movie?
B: Shh! We never mention that movie!
O: So there IS a ‘Book of Secrets’?
B: OK, OK, but you’re not supposed to see it until after you’re sworn in!
O: Oh please, can’t I see it now? Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top? Pleeeeaaasse?
B: Sheeze, OK! Just shut up a minute and I’ll go get it! (leaves Oval Office).
O: (on Blackberry) Hey Bill! It’s me! You owe me 20! Yeah! I’m gonna see it in a minute!
…..Oh! Someone’s coming, gotta go! By!
B: Here it is – Now, you know you can never tell anyone about this, right?
O: Yeah, Yeah, gimme! gimme! (grabs book, begins flipping through pages) Oh boy!
….Oh boy! Oh …………………………………………….. ‘The Cronicles of Dubya, Volume 1?’