If I May Praise Obama for a Moment…

…and if you say I can’t, try and stop me.

Obama said he’d get his daughters a dog after the election, and he’s agreed to adopt instead of buy a dog. As the owner of a rescued dog, I appreciate that little gesture which hopefully others will follow. In fact, I’m feeling so magnanimous, if a pollster were to call me right now and ask my opinion of Obama, I’d answer “no opinion” rather than unfavorable.

…I’m just kidding. I’d hang up on the pollster as usual.

In Obama America…

…illegal immigrants deport YOU!

Fearing Us Like an Angry God

Apparently we’re already working on limb regrowth, ghost soldiers, and mind-controlled guns for our military. Awesome. I have some more ideas, though, for things the military needs to make sure the name of America is only said in hushed whispers:

* An earthquake machine.

* Mind control.

* Tiny robots that seek out human heads and drills into them.

* Giant mutant scorpions.

* Targeted hurricanes.

* Hyper-intelligent squirrel spies.

* Giant laser shooting tripod walkers like from War of the Worlds.

* Liquid terminators.

* Cyborg ninjas.

* Self-aware shotguns.

* A death star.

This is what you need to write your Congressman and tell him to fund instead of the usual crap like studying the flow of ketchup, bridges to nowhere, and schools. If we want peace in this world, its going to take some seriously crazy @#$% to do it.

Point of Order on the Republican Underground

Republicans do need a new direction and I am the defacto leader of the Republican Party after the collapse, but I also have the usual conservative affliction of a job and anyone who has followed IMAO for a while knows I can’t really be counted on for anything past putting up a few posts each day (and that includes proofreading). So for all those expecting me to take the Republican Underground and make some new website or organized movement: Not going to happen. Anyone else is free to go ahead, but my job is to inform and educate and lay out the new non-sissy principles we have to stand by to succeed.

Anyway, next week I’ll put up some logo’s for the Republican Underground people sent in and continue to hone and refine these ideas until they are sharp enough to stab a monkey in eye with. That’s the kind of ideas we need.

No More Talk

I’m getting tired of these “intellectuals”, especially on the conservative side. It’s time we stop affording anyone any respect unless they’ve actually accomplished something. And getting a special degree from a college or a literary award don’t count as accomplishments. Accomplishments are businesses you’ve created or enemy foreigners you’ve killed. Real things that helps this country. We just have way too many talkers, and they are worthless by themselves. As an engineer, I’ve many times taken research papers — the ideas of really really smart people — and finds it all turns to complete crap when you try to apply it in a real situation. That’s why I’ve learned you don’t trust the ideas of people who just think all day and don’t build any real things.

The next time someone starts talking about what Republicans and Conservatives need to do, you ask him, “What the hell have you done?” Unless the person can list any actual accomplishments to back up his knowledge, ignore him.

Wait… what if someone asked me , “What the hell have you done?” I guess I’d say… um…

Know what? Screw this; it’s a bad idea.