Think about it for a second. Someone is using capitalism to make money off the image of a socialist.
I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Anyway, we’ve got a cat. And we pamper that darn cat. Actually buy cat food for it. And I don’t mean Little Friskies in a box. I’m talking about stuff in pouches. And in cans. The single serving cans. That cost about a dollar each. I don’t know why. I mean, it’s a cat.
But, it does say one thing about us. We like the cat.
But still, we’ll put the cat food in a paper plate. Or in a used Stouffer’s lasagna container. Or something.
But, we’d never put it on a Barack Obama plate. I mean, I spend a dollar for a single-serving can of cat food. That means I like my cat. So I wouldn’t make the cat eat off a Barack Obama plate.
But, I assume there are some actual uses for a Barack Obama plate.
There’s talk about whether Joe Lieberman should stay a Democrat or a not. If I can have a vote, I say he should stay a Democrat. He votes like a Democrat except on the war (which should never have been a partisan issue), so that’s his best fit. Now that the Democrats are going to be fully in charge, they’re going to have to mature a bit and ignore the howler monkey left, and that’s where Lieberman can lead.
“Won’t the Democrats be mean to him?” you ask.
Yes, they will. They’ll call him names, push him around, and blame all wars on him for being a Jew. He needs to persevere, though, and to help I’ll give him some advice that worked for me when I was a kid and had to deal with bullies: If someone is being mean to you, you take a stick and whap him really hard in the face. Then you repeat that over and over until you see blood. Then you make a high-pitched laugh.
John Hawkins has a blogger survey of the least liked people on the right. I didn’t participate because I like everybody (SarahK did participate and explains her vote here), but it’s still an interesting list.
A couple points of order, though:
* Can we stop including Andrew Sullivan on the list? No one other than himself think he’s a conservative anymore. That’s not to say he’s liberal; he’s just bat@#$% insane.
* What’s Mitt Romney doing on the list? What did he do?
I’ve been trying to get to the sine qua non of being a conservative — part of which is not using snooty language like that but I am what I am — and I saw a post in a National Review blog that referenced a column which led me back to National Review to an article Ronald Reagan wrote on December 1st, 1964 reacting to the loss of Goldwater. Quote Reagan on conservatives:
We represent the forgotten American — that simple soul who goes to work, bucks for a raise, takes out insurance, pays for his kids’ schooling, contributes to his church and charity and knows there just “ain’t no such thing as free lunch.”
I like the TANSTAAFL thrown in at the end (for the record, I believe this was a couple years before The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress was published). That’s going to be an important principle in the years ahead as the Democratic Congress and President Obama try to play Santa Claus. Don’t even let them start talking about “free” health care.
So, you’re probably asking, “Where does space lasers and dinosaurs with rocket launchers fit into Reagan’s vision of a conservative?”
Good question. A big part of conservatism is making government stand out of the way of human potential. Without that weight, there is no limit to what we can achieve. That leads to the pure awesomeness of things like dinosaurs with rocket launchers. This will also be an important principle in the years ahead. While the Democrats talk about old tired socialist crap, we need to talk pure awesomeness and kick-assery. We need to give the American people a vision of America surrounded by awesome explosions in other countries. When you lead with a vision of awesomeness, people will follow. Just ask Reagan.
Now there’s talk of Fred Thompson challenging Steele for the RNC Chair. I already outlined why that would be awesome. I should also suggest me, though. For one, I was the first to declare myself the defacto leader of the Republican Party after the collapse. Also, I’m a Washington outsider. I mean, I’ve been to the Smithsonian a few times to look at the dinosaur bones, but that’s about it. Furthermore, you don’t have to worry about me using the RNC Chair as a platform to help a 2012 presidential run because I still won’t be old enough to be president then.
So, anyway, my name is out there. So, what does it pay anyway?
Kathleen Parker is going on about how persecuted she is for writing retarded columns. To help prove her point, she posts some of the hate mail she’s gotten.
I hate that.
Just for the recorded, I’m sure Charles Manson got hate mail. That doesn’t prove how right he was. All getting hate mail proves is that you’re able to make someone angry. On top of that, death threats only proves you made a crazy person angry, which is certainly not that hard. It doesn’t make you a martyr to make people angry; it more often than not just makes you a jerk.
IMAO reader Laurie sent me a link to a pdf file wherein the author claims that Barack Obama used “hidden hypnosis techniques” in his campaign speeches to get people to vote for him.
“A light will shine down from somewhere. It will light upon you. You will experience an epiphany. And you will say to yourself, ‘I have to vote for Barack’.”
After wading though all 67 pages, I’ve decided that – despite a great deal of panicky, mouth-breathing hyperbole – the author makes a legitimate point.
Bare bones: the author asserts that Barack’s slow speech pattern, repeated use of key phrases, and deliberate use of specific gestures at key points in his speeches amounts to a form of subconscious hypnosis.
Possibly.
Or maybe he’s simply taking typical used-car-salesman/con-man techniques and using them exceptionally well. That makes him sleazy, not Svengali.
The thing is, I never watched his speeches, so I can’t really confirm if he’s been making the “thumb and forefinger holding a pen, as if to mark a ballot” gesture as he commands his audience to vote for change.
I guess the thing to watch for is to see if that thumb and forefinger gesture goes away, since he doesn’t need votes anymore.
It may be replaced by the more aggressive single-finger-point, which is (supposedly) what he uses when he commands his audience to take a specific action.
Still, despite my skepticism, I do find it… odd… that his supporters are constantly reduced to mindless chants, devoid of substance. From the Moron.Org “Wall of Hope“:
“The same way we answered the call for change to get President Obama elected, should be the same way we answer his inevitable call to help him ensure that real change is manifested.”
“There is hope!”
“Barack was meant to be”
“work for what Obama stands for”
“Support his agenda for peace and equality”
“the change that we need is on its way”
“effect change as he sees fit”
“the power to change”
“ensure that real change is manifested”
“The hope and promise of this election”
“President Obama will transform our image around the world”
“I feel Hopeful”
“unite in a common purpose of Peace and love for all humanity”
“He brings us hope for change”
And that’s just from the first page.
I don’t remember the last time I felt so creeped out.
No, wait. Yes I do.
When I watched this video:
It’s a cult.
And cults never end well.
Regardless of what you think of this paper’s accusations, though, keep one point in mind, above all else:
While the actual effectiveness of Obama’s actions is debatable, the fact that he deliberately chose to use these techniques is not.
Now, let’s look at how else Obama has tried to influence the outcome of this election:
* Beaming tribbles into the engine rooms of his political enemies.
* Voodoo – including a doll factory that makes Mattell weep with envy.
* Zombie outbreaks that were hushed up by the MSM as “escaped Alzheimer’s patients” (no other way to explain Florida).
* Stationing teen-age girls with latent telekinetic abilities outside polling places and then dumping buckets of pigs’ blood on them.
* Enlisting the aid of the secret ruling class of vampires, as seen in the documentary “Blade”.
* A “compromising photo” collection so vast it fills a separate wing of that warehouse where they’re keeping the Ark of the Covenant.
* Having a hot chick with big knockers shake her ass while singing about how much she loves Obama. I’m totally all right with this one since my speakers have a volume control knob.
* Putting his face on the moon. Don’t believe me? Stare at it for a while and squint a little. It’s there. Oh, it’s there all right.
* Being “only 8 years old” when Ayers bombed the Pentagon. How convenient.
And before you ask, NO, he did NOT use the “Jedi Mind Trick”. Star Wars was a FICTIONAL story.
Due to severe mismanagement of this site (like how does Cadet Happy keep being able to post here?), IMAO is about to go bankrupt. Thus we are requesting a billion dollar bailout by the federal government. Think of the harm to the economy if IMAO collapses. Just think of it. I bet you can’t. I bet you can’t think of any harm to the economy. That’s just how unimaginable the harm from IMAO collapsing would be.
With an investment by the federal government of just one billion dollars, IMAO could be saved. Also, with that kind of money, three different ads could be removed from the sidebar. Well… maybe just two.
No; I don’t like that. I’m going to keep all the ads.
Anyway, it will be a well spent billion dollars. We’ll barely use any of it for lavish vacations. To cut costs, we won’t even invite spacemonkey to them. So don’t let IMAO collapse. Write your congressman — or, better yet, the Democrat replacing him in January.
UPDATE:
Ed Flinn makes a good point. Look at our traffic lately; we’re too big to fail. If IMAO fails, where are all those people going to get their monkey-related political humor? We’re talking a societal collapse here.