Due to severe mismanagement of this site (like how does Cadet Happy keep being able to post here?), IMAO is about to go bankrupt. Thus we are requesting a billion dollar bailout by the federal government. Think of the harm to the economy if IMAO collapses. Just think of it. I bet you can’t. I bet you can’t think of any harm to the economy. That’s just how unimaginable the harm from IMAO collapsing would be.
With an investment by the federal government of just one billion dollars, IMAO could be saved. Also, with that kind of money, three different ads could be removed from the sidebar. Well… maybe just two.
No; I don’t like that. I’m going to keep all the ads.
Anyway, it will be a well spent billion dollars. We’ll barely use any of it for lavish vacations. To cut costs, we won’t even invite spacemonkey to them. So don’t let IMAO collapse. Write your congressman — or, better yet, the Democrat replacing him in January.
UPDATE:
Ed Flinn makes a good point. Look at our traffic lately; we’re too big to fail. If IMAO fails, where are all those people going to get their monkey-related political humor? We’re talking a societal collapse here.
Remember: “too big to fail”.
I will be emotionally bankrupt if IMAO goes under. How much government $$$ can I get for my pain?
I’m morally bankrupt. How much can I get for that?
A billion dollars could buy me a whole lot of morality!
Will your beloved commenters be getting any of this money? Or have you sold out to The Man?
Only 1 billion?
If AIG can get 150 billion, then IMAO is good for at least 200 billion.
I disagree with this blog.
Using the underscore ad thing is desperate and lame. Your traffic sucks.
[? -Ed.]
I really think all these layoffs are really scary. And the stock market plunging is scary. Thank God we have Obama about to take office. The stock market may fall down to 6000 or 7000 because of Bush but then Obama will take office on Jan 21. On that day it will be aroiund 7000 because of Bush BUT it will give Obama a low number to start with so he will look like he is doing really awesome as the stock market starts to climb up and up and up. He could take the market from 7000 to 14000 during his first four years. He could double it man!!
Can I borrow $5?
You are planning on “spreading the wealth” to your Ronin, aren’t you? Or at least establishing bounties on trolls? Those blood stains don’t clean themselves up, you know!
“We’ll barely use any of it for lavish vacations.”
True conservatives have always paid their own way – and that of others. But a billion dollars begs for a small celebration. I propose we all meet, say, at a range in Tennessee, Arkansas, Idaho, or Alaska, and for a week, practice our rugged-individual skills that will be necessary for the years ahead.
We can practice punching on the way to the event, through the blue states.
“We’ll barely use any of it for lavish vacations.”
No, but I see a golden parachute in the works that lands Frank and his golden wife on a tropical island with little umbrellas in their drinks while he runs his blog through a solar-powered laptop and an Iridium phone.
Hey, that’s not a bad idea.
AIGH! Don’t give in to the dark side, Frank! I’ll float you $50, and call it a contribution to the new RNC. But only if you’ll lay that scary Space Monkey off, and maybe going with that bounty on trolls thing Master Shake wants (Dibs on timmy up there, what a tool).
Frank – When you get your billion $$$$ bailout, please hire me. For a mere $150,000 a year, I would happily be your bodyguard, or landscaper, or chef, or troll-slayer, or whatever. Who cares that I have almost no experience for any of those jobs? For a measly $150,000 a year, I’d be happy to learn.
Normally I wouldn’t ask, but my company is having an all hands meeting at 11AM tomorrow, and about half of us are going to be laid off. I’ll probably survive tomorrow, but I am not very confident about my company’s long term prospects.
Every generation of people that pass across the face of the Earth feel that they are different in some way from the past waves of humanity. The politician of today imagines they have tools to control the economy that they did not have in 1929. They imagine they can stave off bad economic symtoms and diseases using fiscal manipulations of their profligate spending and federal reserve policy. I imagine in 1929 they thought they were more sophisticated than in 1850 also.
With 100 percent certainty we are not different than previous generations. Only our technology has changed. Thus is there any possibility that the stimulus bail out package will work?
The very fact that they are not able to predict economic problems indicates their understanding of the system is insufficient. When I understand a system I can predict its behavior. Our government is clueless. Thus our government is performing brain surgery with a 12 gauge gun. The current financial crisis is causing our government to attempt manipulations on a scale never seen. However large they may be they are not any different than things tried in the past. As Einstein said it does not take talent to make something bigger. When George Bush warned about “too much government in markets” he was correct. He could have used the old phrase “too many cooks in the kitchen” and made his point more effectively. The government is not only too many cooks but the wrong bad cook that likes to sprinkle arsenic in the soup.
We think we are different. Everybody in the past has thought the same thing. Its a natural human mode of thought. From this perspective it is almost certain the stimulus bail out package will not work. On the contrary it is likely to slow any improvement in conditions. In a set of conditions we are under the normal political response is guaranteed to be the wrong one. If history is a guide whatever the politicians do is going to be the wrong under this set of conditions.
After all is said and done SOMEONE has all the money that the companies needing bail outs lost. Should we not be following them? They made the correct moves. Instead we are subsidizing the losers. We are wiping the ledger clean for them. The distributed accounting ledger that is our money system will lose its memory if they dilute our currency sufficiently.
But politicians do what politicians do. They have responded reflexively. I imagine there is nothing that can be done. It appears to be unfolding unconsciously. Like a doppleganger zombie they shuffle. If they were the least bit awake their solutions would have a hint of creativity. I have spotted absolutely none.
In this situation we are better off doing nothing. Try telling a political zombie that.
Here’s your link for getting your bailout $$
http://www.ustreas.gov/press/releases/reports/applicationguidelines.pdf