Microsoft has a lot of problems with Vista. I even just downgraded my work computer to XP because I got sick and tired of it. So here are some Vista slogan suggestions to help them out.
WINDOWS VISTA SLOGANS
* The computer model said it was bug free (though the computer model kept crashing since it was running on Vista).
* If it ain’t broke, add tons of pointless features until it is.
* Get the full potential out of your computer! (in that it will be using all its memory and processing power constantly, even when just displaying a text file)
* If you downgrade to XP, you’re eventually going to miss those translucent titlebars.
* Yeah it sucks, but Macs are for communists and homosexuals, so what are you going to do?
* Trade speed and reliability for some neat photo editing features you’ll probably never use.
* Incompatibility with your old software and hardware is just motivation to try new things!
* You pretty much have to buy it when you purchase a new computer, so we don’t even really need a slogan.
Hey! I’m a MAC guy! But I did get a chuckle out of that one! Oh, and I’m at work today even if it’s my birthday…
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear USSJIMMYCARTER,
You live in
a zooMinnesotaa zoo.12 Days of Microsoft Christmas
by Gil Glass
Edited by Me
On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows Vista for my PC
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC
On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC
On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC
On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 6 ints conflictin’, 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC
On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 7 files missin’, 6 ints conflictin’, 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC
On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 8 Megs overflowin’, 7 files missin’, 6 ints conflictin’, 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC
On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 9 apps a crashin’, 8 Megs overflowin’, 7 files missin’, 6 ints conflictin’, 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC
On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 10 modes not supported, 9 apps a crashin’, 8 Megs overflowin’, 7 files missin’, 6 ints conflictin’, 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows vista for my PC
On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 11 instructions faulty, 10 modes not supported, 9 apps a crashin’, 8 Megs overflowin’, 7 files missin’, 6 ints conflictin’, 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 12 sound cards silent, 11 instructions faulty, 10 modes not supported, 9 apps a crashin’, 8 Megs overflowin’, 7 files missin’, 6 ints conflictin’, 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows Vista for my PC!
* If blue isn’t your favorite color, it will be.
* No more “blue screen of death” – just death.
* SURPRISE! We lied. The blue screen is still in there.
* You might be Vista-capable, but your computer isn’t, nor are you.
* From our vantage point (Vista), you’re a moron.
* Developed on the backs of chair-throwing executives who care.
* Zune-compatible !!!!!
* Und you vill like it!
Windows Vista: The best virus detection software there is.
Windows Vista: Because that Richard Stallman guy is crazy!
Windows Vista: Spend lots of cash on software licenses to rejuvenate the economy.
* It’s crap? Whatever. Screw you. We’ll just wait for our bailout.
Irony? ussjimmycarter’s birthday is held every year on Homosexual Vacation Day and he is a Mac user. Awesome.
Vista is proof that the free market will eventually take care of monopolies, provided the state is not actively aiding them. The monopoly eventually becomes so sure of its own greatness and so enamored of its bureaucratic ways of doing things that it fails to deliver what the customer wants. At that time, an agile competitor with a better (or cheaper) product comes along, or customers decide they can do without the product altogether, rather than pay the inflated price. See also automobile, American.
Two Dogs, LOL! I shall remember and pay you and Sir Jimmy back! I am not a Homo, by the way, just a victim of real homosexuals using my birthday for their skullduggarry!
^^^^ never has any problems with it and wonders why everybody else does
#7
At least ussjc didn’t call in “gay” today.
Vista: Bigger, more expensive, less efficient – The official operating system of the U. S. Government.
Vista: Because you were looking for a reason to buy a Mac.
Teh best reazn 4 geting mac iz dat it can haz cheez on it.
*Obviously user error. Couldn’t be the software. Idiots. Is the computer plugged in, Stupid?
*It’s called a “feature,” not a “hard disk error.”
*Well, then, YOU fix it, smartass!
Okay, here’s a question for you Vista users. Since Microsoft added USB support (95? 98?), if you had a device attached to a USB port that was outputting data to your computer when you booted, Windows would think it was a serial mouse and things would go nuts. It’s still true in XP. Since I don’t use Vista, does anyone know if they fixed that?
BTW, for those who think Windows is pretty good, the following are true, historical statements:
1. Windows networking was an afterthought and was kluged into Windows 98.
2. Web browsing (Internet Explorer) was a similar afterthought.
3. USB support was also an afterthought
But to listen to Microsoft all these years, you’d think they invented all of it and more.
I prefer the Ring Lardner quote they have as their current slogan:
“Shut up” they explained.
Wat are these guys talking abt?
i love vista. infact its the best
Jimmy, Windows 95 SE had networking support and IE.
IE was competitive product(to Netscape), not an afterthought.
Likewise, USB support was introduced in Windows 95, but with limited support seeing as the USB standards were still in the beta form. However, as soon as they were finalized, they and the latest standards for USB went into the next Microsoft OS or were added via updates to the older. This is a given, especially considering MS was one of the driving forces behind USB and helped create the standards.
I rather like Vista, but then again I did build my computer myself, so I knew what drivers and such I needed ahead of time.
Very
Idiotic
Software
To
Adopt
Rubius, your facts are in error.
There was no such product as Windows 95 SE. There were only OEM Service Releases. You are thinking of Windows 98 Second Edition. Windows had networking support as far back as Windows For Workgroups 3.11 but the TCP/IP stack was not present out of the box until Windows 95. IE was offered in the Windows 95 PLUS pack and was a barely usable hacked up Mosiac. The version bundled with Windows 98 was actuallu usable… if by usable you mean a good attack vector fro Active X to infest your PC.
Windows 95 had no USB support. Windows 95 OSR2 had very rudimentary support similar to what shipped in Windows 98. You basically needed a vendor supplied driver for pretty much everything. There is an unofficial download floating around to give Windows 98 USB Mass storage support. Most HID stuff basically works if you fuss with it enough.
XP does get USB support mostly right… except when it fails horribly and can’t ever be fixed.
Is that a euphemism?
Actually, there was a 95 second edition. It was basically 95 with the Service Release 2 on the cd or floppies.
Also, USB devices work without hot-swapping and some other features on 95(at least on SE). Regardless, I used 95 until not too long ago(some of its old exploitable network ‘features’ are fantastic!), so I am quite familiar with what it has, and has not.
Vista Slogan:
“All support technicians are busy helping other customers. Please stay on the line and your call will be answered in the order it was received.”
The Windows 95 releases were:
Windows 95 (Windows 4.00.950)
Windows 95A AKA Windows 95 SR1 (Windows 4.00.950a)
Windows 95B AKA Windows 95 SR2 (Windows 4.00.950b)
Windows 95B AKA Windows 95 SR2.1 (also Windows 4.00.950b)
Windows 95C AKA Windows 95 SR2.5 (Windows 4.00.950c)
SR2.1 (95B, updated) included USB support and was quietly shipped in place of SR2 as OEM. Updates were available online (Windows Update) to those who had boxed 95 or 95A. No separate version information was easily available from the VER command, although digging showed 4.03.xxxx
SR2.5 (95C) was the first Win95 to include IE4. Previous versions included IE3.
More info from MS
My new computer box has never touched a Winduz. Kubuntu 8.10 has its own arsenal of silly eye candy, including the much-whispered WOBBLY WINDOWS.
See, Frank, you do have experts on your staff!! Basil strikes again with the facts.
I also remember a funny story regarding 95. MS sold it en masse to the US Government. It stunk SO BAD that the FEDS visited the Microsoft honcho’s and said “fix it or it’s over.”
95… 95… ME… Disaster
NT…2000…XP… Okay
XP…VISTA…Windows 7…. rinse and repeat ?
Jimmy:
Now that you mention it, my first experience with Windows 95 was in the Army. I worked support for a few months while transitioning, and we got calls *all the time* about one issue or another with Windows 95. After it finally settled down, I got my own copy.
Reminiscing now… once I got a call from a lady in an office (civilian) saying “my computer won’t turn off.” Got her location, went to her computer, looked it over, and determined she was almost correct: unplugging it from the wall turned it off quiet well.
Window’s Vista: Are you sure you want to do anything today?
At first glance I thought the title was Windows Vista Shotguns
[You wouldn’t want to rely on that for home defense. -Ed.]
“Jimmy says:
December 10th, 2008 at 1:42 pm ”
No, it doesn’t seem to think every USB device is a mouse, at least it doesn’t mistake my MIDI-USB as a mouse.
eh, my hubby downgraded to XP, then saw all the cool things Vista does and reinstalled it, got the gazillion updates he’d missed and he loves it now. I use it everyday at work without problems.
XP is boring. Windows 7 is gonna rock!
WIndows 7 will be a joy to run. Word of it being ‘modulated’ where you can get better packages if you wish to really open up doors of the unknown reaches of blue screens vs the mainstay staple of ‘Windows ME’ release or ‘WIndows VIsta Home Basic’ . This grows into even more of a anomaly when you bring in various 3rd party software companies that user reviews of products will state “works smoothly with Windows 7 with gaming upgrade pack / sound studio professional pack / home office pack / along with the advanced ultimate internet browser and e-mail pack. “
Maybe they fixed it then, AR. The behavior I mentioned happens when USB ports are assigned as serial ports. It’s as if during the serial mouse era, Windows searched for anything streaming on all serial ports during bootup. If it finds something, it then keeps confusing that port with any other mouse running – like a PS2 mouse. One of those “lets be smarter than the user” legacy issues that completely ignored industry’s actual use of serial hardware.
erg says:
December 10th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I’m looking forward to the modularity. Mostly because I’m not going to use it so I can have just a bare bones Operating System while keeping all the benefits of windows (widespread software compatibility, easy use, customization, not being $500 more for a computer than it should). Besides, I figure Windows 7 is going to be what XP is to ME to Vista.
Pingback: Article (Long been resolved) on Windows Vista Slogans | Microsoft SharePoint & Windows (Vista, Azure, 7) Cloud & Social Computing Space
There is only one proven slogan to fool most of the masses out there into buying – “Hope And Change”
Some will argue that “This is the software we’ve been waiting for” will do….
I recommend a TV ad blitz with foam pillars – a halo of light around the product and a Photoshopped image of the package in front of the Brandenberg Gate!
Maybe all you Mac users can find some Beta video recorders to go with it.
I’ve had a laptop with Vista on it for going on two years now and I’ve never had any problems. My wife has a new Mac and it’s cool but I still prefer the pc.
I got a new laptop in September with Vista on it and have not had any problems yet. What are the things to watch out for?
“I got a new laptop in September with Vista on it and have not had any problems yet. What are the things to watch out for?”
People who are jealous of Microsoft and Vista who will denigrate it every chance they get.
I BOUGHT A NEW LAPTOP FROM DELL A FEW MONTHS AGO AND SPECIFICALLY ORDERED IT WITH XP, AND NOT VISTA. DON’T KNOW IF THEY ARE STILL DOING THAT.
ON ANOTHER POINT, WHY AM I GETTING SOME WIERD SPACE INVADERS CREATURE INSERTED IN MY POSTS. I DID NOT PUT IT THERE AND IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME?
I think the problem with a lot of modern high tech is the nerd factor. You get a lot of really smart nerds who got beat up in school a lot, and they think, “I’ll show them, I’ll design a flash drive that is so complicated, that only I can figure out how to use it. Then I’ll form a monopoly so my flash drive will be the only one they can use. Then when they figure it out, I will be like ‘your flash drive needs an update,’ and they will be like, ‘why does a flash drive need an update?’ and they I’ll say ‘because’, and they will be like, ‘okay.’ Then I will screw up the programming again so they can’t use it.”
So concluding my theory, ‘why the **** did they update my flash drive so I can’t use it?
> fishlaw says:
> December 11th, 2008 at 12:49 pm edit
>
> WHY AM I GETTING SOME WIERD SPACE INVADERS CREATURE INSERTED IN MY POSTS. I DID NOT PUT IT THERE AND IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME?
What do you mean? It looks exactly like you.
Okay, seriously, here’s the deal: It’s a Gravatar. If you don’t have one set up, you’re assigned one by WordPress. If you don’t like the one assigned, set one up for your email address at http://www.gravatar.com/
See mine? It’s the one I set up. If I hadn’t set one up, it’d look like Squidward or something.
Since the Gravatars are email-based, if you’re using fake email addresses, you can’t set one up and must put up with the assigned Gravatar. That makes trolls really mad.
Oh, the Gravatar service is run by Automattic, the company that owns WordPress, and not by anyone at this blog.
Macs are good for home use. They don’t work worth a damn on a real server. Meaning they only work on specific hardware platforms. There are very limited amounts of options.
Windows has a lot of things in the realm of Localization (languages), scalability to different hardware platforms and works with many more programs than a mac does.
I own a mac and have several windows computers. Windows Vista is hands down 20 times better than Windows XP. I found that a lot of people don’t understand much about troubleshooting their systems. Those people usually need Dell or Macintosh for technical support because they are unable to diagnose the problems.
It wouldn’t surprise me if someone upgraded from Windows XP to Windows Vista on an outdated and less than optimal set of hardware and then had problems. That would be user error problems.
The only crashes I have ever had on my Windows Vista machines were when my hard drive was failing while I was trying to write files onto the disc. That is something the Operating System really cannot be blamed for since it is hardware.
In a nutshell – Windows is fantastic if you know what you are doing to some degree. Macintosh is also great. They are mutually different platforms and understanding how and why is the important distinction.
If you bought a new PC from HP or Dell and your drivers are crashing then it’s actually an HP or Dell problem. Since most people don’t even try to understand their computers they cannot distinguish these minor details and complain like babies. Erroneosly reporting that the operating system is bad. Do yourself a favor and post factual information and findings. Then get educated.
Vista-the real reason God created Mac’s
Vista- the best reason to switch to Macintosh
My spinning beach ball of death beats your blue screen of death, every time
Get a Mac and I say that as some one who used windows from 95 to XP.