The neo-cavemen of the “1022 tons of rock is TOTALLY fragile” movement want you to turn your lights out between 8:30 and 9:30pm tonight.
To which I respond with a heartfelt “bite me”.
I’m going to celebrate Human Achievement Hour, instead.
In response to which I’m sure the 21st century hippie losers will snivel “Oh yeah? What’s there to celebrate? What have human beings ever achieved?”
Got 3 minutes?:
Personally, I’m going to celebrate by taking a minute to appreciate the taken-for-granted miracles of human civilization that surround me:
* This stupid blog post? Yeah, I’m writing words… with LIGHT! Even Gandalf never pulled that one off.
* Sure, the elves had that freaky little “vision pool” going on, but my 40-inch plasma flatscreen does the same damn thing, except in hi-def.
* The computer I’m writing this on (with LIGHT!) contains exactly zero natural or organic materials. I’ll bet that stupid hippie Steve Jobs cries himself to sleep every night just thinking about that.
* If I jump in my SUV right now, I can be 60 miles away from here an hour later. Basically it’s just really slow teleportation.
* If wolves could do that, I’d stop hunting them from airplanes just out of respect.
* I’m gonna play a CD. Look! I’m making music… with LIGHT!
* My cell phone… actually, I’m gonna turn that off because you’re busy reading, and having it pop off with “It’s Raining Men” right now would probably annoy the crap out of you.
* SIT! my domesticated dog, son of wolves who weren’t hunted from airplanes.
* Twitter… is just self-indulgent twaddle. The hippies can shut that down if they want. Of course, if they did, they might get bored and do stuff that leaves big, carbony footprints. You know, like work or bathing.
* Zo – totally not a slave anymore.
How are YOU gonna celebrate?
—————————–
PS – Regarding the last Earth Hour post… I wasn’t able to rework the Earth Hour video with appropriately ominous background music, because I still don’t have video skills or software. However, if you have some time to kill, you can do a manual mashup that I thought worked pretty well.
Load up the Earth Hour video, pause it at the 30 second mark, and mute the sound (click the speaker icon to the right of the time stamp).
Download this mp3 of “In the Hall of the Mountain King” from WFMU’s Beware of the Blog. Fire it up and pause at zero seconds.
Start the music then the video as near simultaneously as you can, and watch the Earth Hour video.
How’s that?
UPDATE 3-28-09:
Krig the Viking suggests another excellent mashup:
Pause the Earth Hour video at 26 seconds, and start Holst’s “Mars: The Bringer of War” (at 0 seconds).
It’s like these old, dead, music guys knew this was coming.
I agree with Harvey that we need to celebrate the miracle of light. We need to celebrate the light bulb by organizing a time when everyone can turn every light that they own on at the same time. Hey, how about between 8:30 and 9:30 tonight?
Christmas Lights are a great sign of human achievement. Think I will turn them back on for tonight. although, I may just find somewhere where I can rent one of those big searchlights, just for the occasion.
Not only that but we’ll make sure the lights contain 25% Death Crystal. And we’ll point them at peoples houses driving around in my 2 mile to the gallon H3.
So much to celebrate- indoor plumbing, refrigration, HVAC,
these make the poorest homes in America better dwellings than Kings’
castles were just a few hundred years ago.
Still, I sort of miss blogging by smoky campfire light…
The smell of the mud, the feel of the cuneiform stylus cradled in my hand,
throwing the misspelled tablets at the wolves who keep trying to retake the cave,
Good times, yes, good times.
I guess I could always move to North Korea to relive those times.
I celebrated by turning every light I own on.. including headlights and flashlights.
I can read this blog entry, less than an hour old.
I can reach out my right hand and read a book written over 700 years ago.
I can turn to my left and read a book that records human history going back approximately 6000 years.
Or I can turn around, push a button, and watch a show about what life might be like 300 years from now.
All without getting off my lazy ass!
i am sorry about the video, i forgot i got rid of final cut studio, because it takes up WAY TO MUCH ROOM on my computer, and my default movie makers are crashing for no reason.
i actually used “o’ fortuna” by carl off
but like i said before, im going to buy some more lamps, then turn on every bit of equipment that i have, with my blinds open, my apartment will shine like a beacon of hope in this liberal town.
im also going to leave the apartment (and make sure everyone knows it) and drive off with the brights on and my music blaring, when i get the the gas station, i will fill up my tank, and spend the hour attempting to burn up as much gas as possible. oh yea, and the only song ill be blaring would be “america, f*ck yea!”
“In the Hall of the Mountain King” is okay, but a much grimmer and more foreboding choice is Gustav Holst’s “Mars, the Bringer of War.” You can find the YouTube version here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4oDDmoWf1M
Start playing “Mars” at 26 seconds (or slightly later) on the “Earth Hour” video. It syncs up well. Very dark. (ha ha, you see what I did there? “Very dark?” Because the video… with the lights… and the darkness… ha ha…)
The manual mashup works great! Are they doing this crap again? Last year I turned on everything during that hour, you could see it from space!!!
Earth Hour is supposed to be held at 8:30 p.m. local time on March 28, 2009 – which means Saturday in the US. So, those of you who turned-on all your lights Friday night have to do again this evening!!
Harvey – thanks for the post and video.
To kick off “Human Achievement Hour” I’m going to turn on every light and electrical doodad that I own (hopefully I don’t blow the fuse panel), then I’m going to go out to my work shop and turn on every light and electrical doodad that’s out there. Then I’m gonig to get in my 500hp 4 wheel drive gas sucking SUV and run over hippies in the dark. Of coures running over a hippie is like hitting a skunk on a country road. I think hippies smell worse however.
Last year, I even considering turning on my table saw and just letting it run. (Don’t you just love the sound they make? I do.) But I didn’t as it’s out in the work shed.
This year, besides having standard electrical devices powered on, I’m going to build a big fire in my airtight and open all the doors while loudly playing some favorite music on the stereo. Gotta remind some of my distant neighbors just how disagreeable I am – especially with this crappy cold “Spring” we’re having.
Harvey: Your description of setting the video and sound to hit at the same time made me laugh. It reminded me of the old school way of making a mix tape: Sit by the radio until your favorite song comes on, hit record on your Panasonic tape palyer and cross your fingers the DJ doesn’t chat up the first 20 seconds of intro!
I’ll be cranking up all the electrical inventions in the house tonight from 8:30 to 9:30 to balance out the load on the grid. We wouldn’t want a surge when everyone turns the lightsback on at 9:30 now would we?
I won’t be able to do anything, because I’ll be at a piano recital being given by my girlfriend’s students. I certainly join Harvey in a heart-felt “bite me” to those preachy bastards. If they want to conserve energy, etc., fine. Preaching at me about it is somewhat less than fine, and preaching at me while not practicing what they preach is even worse (I’m thinking about the “Love your mother” bumper sticker that I saw yesterday in the Mountain View library’s parking lot – if you want to save energy and get cleaner air, don’t drive; your bumper sticker doesn’t accomplish that).
I’m grateful for things ranging from indexed shifting on my bicycle, to electronic tuners for my guitars, banjos, and mandolin, to an eleven-year-old automobile with 89,000 miles on it that has never had a problem of any significance, to electronic thermostats, to antibiotics . . . The list isn’t endless, but it’s VERY long.
Rock Band 2 – Playing music with fake instruments using light as a guide all in 1080p
I’m grateful for disposable diapers, blow dryers, and Pedi-Paws. I live a simple life.
I’m grateful for my one million and ten million candle-power lights that can be seen from space during earth hour. I will be even more grateful if my communist neighbor turns out all of his lights. It makes mischief that much easier.
Since this terrible global warning epidemic has brought Kansas an ice storm with snow predicted later on, I’m going to celebrate HEAT! I’m turning on all my electrical fireplaces and lights to try to warm up.
Another suggestion:
Take the soundtrack from the Earth Hour video (here).
Next, head over to econlib.org, and open up Leonard Read’s wonderful “I, Pencil” (here). Play the song, and read an excellent illustration of the power of human ingenuity and the free market!
Youtube has some limited built in video-editing features, you can have it swap the audio for you, but you seem to have to choose from a certain list of music.
I’m going to play Civilization IV
I’m going to drive my 13 mpg pick-up truck up and down the University of Michigan (“Berkeley of the Midwest”) campus from 8:30-9:30pm. But to honor Earth Hour, I will be doing so with my headlights off.
I’m going to play Red Alert 3, or read some “Plato’s The Republic”.
Another music selection, try the Imperial March from the Star Wars soundtrack…
It’s here
During Earth Hour I’m going to run through a hospital intensive care unit unplugging all the monitors and life support systems. When the nurses call security and the guards rush at me I’ll yell “THEY’RE A SMALL SACRIFICE TO MAKE FOR OUR MOTHER EARTH! AND TURN OFF THOSE FLASHLIGHTS, CORPORATE FACISTS!”
After trolling the responsible news(type) sites I have to say……..exactly what human achievement are we to celebrate. Is it the ability of human being to destroy each other on a large scale with not just weapons of mass destruction but by taxing them to bankruptcy as well as social engineering Mayhaps it is the achievement of breaking every single commandment given by any deity, at any time, any where? Perhaps it is elevating to positions of power and authority people who don’t have the integrity of a louse or the common sense of a goose……..
I know it’s the achievement of becoming so blatantly self obsessed, self focused, selfish and self loathing that even if someone managed to kill everyone nothing in the entire galaxy would shed one single tear. Most likely they would say, as one does to guests who stay too long, “thank goodness they are finally gone, now we can relax for a change….good riddance to bad rubbish.”
I am really a conservative, I swear but I am so tired of this crap I could seriously start making glass parking lots out of places like Iraq/Iran, Russia, China, Cuba as well as New York, LA, Atlanta and Chocolate city (New Orleans) and many and sundry places in between. People as a species are a waste of carbon just go to Wal Mart and you’ll know exactly what I mean.
I sense you’re holding back. Tell us how you Really feel.
seanmahair – But then there’s IMAO, which more than offsets all that 🙂
seanmahair – It’s not about the masses, the average person sucks, no doubt. Besides, it’s mostly a “Screw You” to the Greenies anyway.
Poor seanmahair…
It’s not his fault he feels like this…unless you can find fault with things like WILLINGLY going to news(type) sites. Nothing he says…er…types is wrong per se; I just like to think of the words of the great philosopher, Sergeant Hulka, in the movie “Stripes” when he said, “Lighten up Francis!”
I’ll kickback, put a new cable on my crossbow, watch the latest episode of 24 on hulu, and smile at the stupid brainwashed “useful idiots” who really believe they will make a difference by turning off their lights.
So many ways to celebrate in such a short period of time. One thing I will do is play the Trace Atkins’ song “Every Light in the House is On” over and over again during the hour and use the great invention, the cell phone to call local radio stations asking that they do likewise.
I’m gonna celebrate by watching thie George Carlin Vid again.
Okay, so I got bored and made this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0j0gA8NqXY8
It took me a little less than an hour.
John 14:1-3
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”
II Corinthian 4:16-18
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Keep the faith, Seanmahair!
(the news just reminds us of what we’ve known all along: that people are fools.
Or, more charitably, that they are sheep without a shepherd.
But we have a good shepherd, so fear not!)
Twitter can cumbersomely be used to page shit that happens you hear on your police scanner out to other people who like to know about shit happening. See http://twitter.com/scandiego/
Found at Scrappleface…….. Actor Ed Norton, the Earth Hour 2009 U.S. Ambassador, today announced that, in addition to ordering all citizens and businesses to extinguish lights at 8:30 Saturday night, he has also signed an “ambassador order” calling for all clocks to move ahead one hour each night for the rest of the Obama administration.
“Each time we spring ahead an hour, we bypass 60 minutes during which vast quantities of carbon would have been belched into the atmosphere by coal-fired plants,” said Norton. “Under this plan, the Earth will be spared from more than 2,800 hours worth of carbon emissions during President Obama’s first two terms alone.”
The ambassador said Earth Hour embassy staff members have “gone above and beyond the call of duty to set an example for the rest of the nation. We’ve been walking around in the dark for months now. We’re committed to saving the planet from the global warming scourge which is currently masquerading as a decade-long cooling trend.”
Norton, who is not related to the sewer worker of the same name in Jackie Gleason’s TV show “The Honeymooners,” likened the Earth Hour observance to the Civil Rights March on Selma, which coincidentally happened 44 years ago to the month.
While Earth Hour is expected to pack all the symbolic punch of the Selma march, Norton said he hopes police won’t react against participants with billy clubs, tear gas and bull whips.
“We’re especially concerned about the tear gas,” he said, “because it’s nearly as bad for the Earth’s atmosphere as carbon dioxide.”
—Original post by Scott Ott
seanmahair, my discouraged Celtic Grandmama! Some here don’t know the meaning of your name. And it saddens me that you’re feeling so down about the state of the world.
Just remember, for every sinner on this Earth, there is an anti-sinner. And those anti-sinners are mostly responsible for all the human achievements that we admire.
I celebrated Human Achievement Hour last night – and today, I shall plant more spring garden in the Earthly soil I’m so fond of.
I’m gonna party like it’s two zero zero nine
Snort me a few white lines
Fight global warming in my nose
Do me some cool cool blow
Ah, sean-nie is just being lazy and whiney…two characteristics I deplore. Sheesh…what’s so bad about Wal-Mart…wish we had more of ’em up here in the Peoples Republic of NJ.
My house was so lit up last night, I noticed that incoming airliner traffic to Phila International were ignoring the normal Apache II arrival procedure and just turning final over my house. I was LIT…the house was pretty bright too. And I let my cars run in the driveway for the entire hour, too…..
Bite me, Gore.
I was working-lights on, power tools, etc. Part of the whole being a conservative, having a job, actual responsibilities thing; no spare rat’s asses.
Just saw the report that there was no change in electricity uses in NY or California.
Let see now -how to spin this one – I got it. It’s Bush’s fault, except for Alaska which was – we know who’s fault.
Alex,
That was pretty darn good. Kudos, chum.
“Bite me” indeed, LOL.
Reporting from the field: For that 1 specific hour Saturday night, I turned on every lightbulb (the old incandescent kind) in the house, inside and out. I also turned on my printer (even though it’s not connected to the computer), the DVD and VHS players (empty), and all three TVs (even though I wasn’t watching any of them).
After EH/HAH, I turned off all of the above except one lamp and one TV, and ate a huge red meat steak dinner whilst giggling my way through Blazing Saddles. Take that, hippies!
She…….she……….she sometimes gets sad and depressed especially when it’s been days since she was able to either access IMAO or kill murlocks or she visits any news site no matter where. We just had, what is for our area, a major winter storm so unfortunately we had to keep abreast of the news. It was a frustrating couple of days. Thanks 4 of 7, Harvey and of course my guardian angel Jimmy. The spouse reminded me that the Lord would have saved Sodom and Gohmorrah if they could have found a few good folks. It’s people like y’all who keep the world going.
Thank you.
Turned on all of the lights, and left the house around 7:30PM. They burned all through the night and into the following afternoon before I returned. Money well spent.
You’re welcome! 😉
This whole EARTH HOUR is just another rediculous idea from a bunch of tree hugging granola munching ibleral stupidhead idiots and this whole GLOBAL WARMING is the biggist lie of the century as big a fruad like PILTDOWN MAN and HITLERS DIARIES
Pingback: Jurassic Park Author Michael Crichton Is Not A Planet-Crazy Hippie « SCAAC