The White House web site has a new page called “Open for Questions“, where citizens are encouraged to submit their questions on the economy. On Thursday, Obama will answer all the ones that make him look good, like “The economy is so much better now that you’re president. Why are you so awesome, and how can we best praise you? Would a large, golden idol be appropriate?”
Personally, I’d go a little less softball. Here are some of mine:
“That’s a tough question… let me have my staff dig up some dirt on you to release to the media, and I’ll get back to you on that.”
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* You say America needs jobs, green energy, and cheap health care, yet all you’ve done is “invest” trillions in financial institutions that are too stupid to earn a profit. Isn’t this like promising to buy your daughter a pony, then going out and buying yourself a Mustang?
* Could we maybe take your $3.5 trillion budget to Vegas and play blackjack with it? Statistically, we should still have $3.4 trillion left afterwards, which is better odds than we’re getting from you.
* You’re planning to lower the deduction on charitable giving. Are you also planning to spank your children when they share their toys?
* When asked why it took you so long to express outrage over the AIG bonuses, you said “because I like to know what I’m talking about before I speak.” Didn’t you actually mean to say “my teleprompter was broken”?
* A two-part question: In your speech on the economy, you said “there are no silver bullets”. If that’s true, then – first – how will America defend itself from a werewolf invasion, and – second – have you considered asking the Lone Ranger for assistance?
* You criticized AIG executives for “enriching themselves on the taxpayers’ dime”, calling it “inexcusable”. Does this standard apply to your $500,000 book deal? Or is your book deal OK because it was done before you assumed the Presidency? And does this make the AIG bonuses OK, because they were set up before they accepted the bailout?
* You said we “can’t afford to demonize every investor or entrepreneur who seeks to make a profit”. Does that mean you have a list of people that you CAN afford to demonize? Does that list consist of the names of people who submit unflattering questions to the Open For Questions web site?
* Senator Benjamin Cardin has proposed a measure to help newspapers that are struggling to stay afloat by allowing them to reorganize as non-profit entities. If you support this measure, would you support a similar measure for bloggers? I mean, I sit around all day making stuff up, and I’m not making any money at it, either.
* If Treasury Secretary Geithner is fired or resigns, who will replace him. Are there any Democrat tax cheats left in Washington who aren’t already part of your administration?
* Although you expressed outrage over the AIG bonuses, you don’t seem too upset about the millions in Fannie Mae bonuses. Are you saying that it’s OK to use bailout money for bonuses as long as your company name sounds like a character from the Beverly Hillbillies?
Anything YOU want to ask That One?
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