Know Thy Enemy Request

I was thinking I should do another Know Thy Enemy post since they are fun and educational. What enemies are you wanting to know more about right now?

Drunk Monkey

Sure, drunk gorillas are funny, right up to the point where they figure out how to drive a car.

Underwater Attack

Scientists have discovered a new extinct pliosaur that was fifty feet long, had a jaw ten feet long, and a biting power estimated to be more than ten times that of a modern alligator (four times that of a tyrannosaurus rex) and have dubbed it Predator X. I know what you’re thinking: “If we resurrect it, can we put rocket launchers on it?”

No, because that would be stupid as it’s not a dinosaur. It’s a “marine reptile.” We should put torpedo launchers on it.

So, do we order “extra large” in order to demoralize the commies?

There’s a company several miles down the road from here called Alatech. They’re in Eufaula, Alabama. And they make condoms.

And they used to sell condoms to the U.S. government. To the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), to be precise.

But, according to McClatchy, that’s about to end:

In a move expected to cost 300 American jobs, the government is switching to cheaper off-shore condoms, including some made in China.

The switch comes despite implied assurances over the years that the agency would continue to buy American whenever possible.

“Of course, we considered how many U.S. jobs would be affected by this move,” said a USAID official who spoke on the condition that he would not be named. But he said the reasons for the change included lower prices (2 cents versus more than 5 cents for U.S.-made condoms) and the fact that Congress dropped “buy American language” in a recent appropriations bill.

Which means that the U.S. is going to be buying rubbers from the Red Chinese.

And that makes sense, if you thing about it. I mean, what else would socialists (Obama and the “Democratic” party) screw capitalists (American companies) with but commie condoms?

At least they’re using a rubber.

Payback

I’m probably a little late to this point, but if the $165 million paid to AIG employees as bonuses is really wasteful and we should get it back for our tax money, shouldn’t those responsible for it pay us back? That’s not the AIG employees who are just following their own contracts they agreed to but to the people who approved those contracts. So shouldn’t all the Congressmen who voted for the stimulus get together and pay back the $165 million with their own personal funds?

Skills for the Future

Do you think we’re training our kids with the proper skills to succeed at the jobs of the future? I think too many of them are specializing in things like computers which will be completely useless when Obama’s screw up causes society to collapse, we lose electricity, and we’re forced to being an agrarian society once again. Just something to keep in mind.

When Has The Phrase “A Darkness Spread Across The Land” Ever Been Followed By “And They Lived Happliy Ever After”?

First rule of blogging: Don’t quote Ayn Rand.

Not that her writing’s not rife with excellently-stated points, it’s just that she never once constructed a sentence that could stand alone without its surrounding context.

But I break that rule now, because something unspeakable is looming on the horizon, and quoting Atlas Shrugged is the only adequate way I can think of to put my abject horror into words.

Earth Hour 3 approaches.

Please indulge me:

“There were not many lights on the earth below. The countryside was an empty black sheet, with a few occasional flickers in the windows of some government structures, and the trembling glow of candles in the windows of thriftless homes. Most of the rural population had long since been reduced to the life of those ages when artificial light was an exorbitant luxury, and a sunset put an end to human activity. The towns were like scattered puddles, left behind by a receding tide, still holding some precious drops of electricity, but drying out in a desert of rations, quotas, controls, and power-conservation rules.

[…]

The plane was above the peaks of the skyscrapers when suddenly, with the abruptness of a shudder, as if the ground had parted to engulf it, the city disappeared from the face of the earth. It took them a moment to realize that the panic had reached the power stations – and that the lights of New York had gone out.”

These hedonistic luddites want to symbolically roll back every inch of human progress since Edison was awarded US Patent #223,898 on January 27, 1880.

Which makes me want to screw light bulbs into every orifice of the aforementioned luddites and then hardwire them to 120 volt AC.

But I’ll settle for some symbolism, because, unlike them, I respect and admire the customs, foundations, and institutions of human civilization.

What I’d LIKE to do, is re-work that video so that the soundtrack reflects the disgust and revulsion a thinking person should feel at the sight of the world’s greatest cities being plunged into darkness.

Problem is, I have no video-editing skills. Or even software.

Some I’m begging the readership to throw in on this one.

If you have an idea for an appropriate soundtrack for this video – like theme music from Friday the 13th, or REM’s “End of the World As We Know It”, or just screams of terror – toss it in the comments.

If you have video-editing skills and can re-do the auditories to better match this video atrocity, then put it together, upload it to YouTube, and drop a link in the comments. And don’t feel like you have to use the WHOLE video – at over 3 minutes, it’d be kinda tedious and unwieldy to work with. Slice, dice, edit, chop, mix, and match at your convenience.

If I have to settle for merely textually skewering these neo-hipster eco-tards, I’ll make do. But if y’all can help me whip up something a little more multi-media, I’d take it as a kindness and be much obliged.

I Hope He Fails

When Obama tries to figure which is the left shoe and which is the right shoe, I hope he fails.

In the war of words between the socialist president who’s the darling of the Hollywood elite and the socialist president who’s the darling of the Hollywood elite, put your money on the socialist president who’s the darling of the Hollywood elite

Venezuela’s socialist president has some harsh words for America’s socialist president.

Reuters reports that Hugo Chávez called Barack Obama an “ignoramus:”

“He goes and accuses me of exporting terrorism: the least I can say is that he’s a poor ignoramus; he should read and study a little to understand reality,” said Chavez, who heads a group of left-wing Latin American leaders opposed to the U.S. influence in the region.

It ought to be interesting to see how this one plays out.

Chávez is the darling of Hollywood. Obama is the darling of Hollywood.

In this little battle of words between the two leading socialist presidents on the American continents, who will get the support of Hollywood?

The answer is easy: it doesn’t matter. Because Hollywood doesn’t matter.

The dust-up between those two peas in a pod won’t last long. They’ll take their sights off each other soon enough.

Chávez has terrorism to export.

And Obama has basketball brackets to pick.