Frank posted a funny post earlier today about Socialism.
No, socialism isn’t funny. But making fun of it is.
Anyway, there was a hiccup with the comments system … but only for that post. If you read it, tried to comment, and got an error … well, we fixed it. You can comment on it now.
Here’s how:
I got e-mail update from the DNC about their contest for a billboard slogan to really stick it to Rush Limbaugh. Here are the top entries:
* “Americans didn’t vote for a Rush to failure”
* “Hope and change cannot be Rush’d”
* “Failure is not an option for America’s future”
* “We can fix America, just don’t Rush it”
* “Rush: Say yes to America”
Wow. Harsh. If Rush sees any of those on a billboard, he’ll cry himself to sleep.
Really, how many monkeys at how many typewriters did it take for them to come up with those? The Democrats are trying to make Rush the number one enemy to distract from their screw ups, and they can’t even take him seriously.
So how many entries about Rush being an addict do you think they rejected?
Socialists seems to be a rising problem in America, so I sent out my crack research staff to find out as much as they could about them. Here are their findings:
FUN FACTS ABOUT SOCIALISTS
* The first socialist was Thog the Puny, who never hunted but thought he should be in charge of how the kills were distributed. He was brutally clubbed to death by the other caveman, and no one blamed them.
* The name “Socialist” is kinda ironic since they’re not very social on account of everyone hating them.
* Much like the marriage of chocolate and peanut butter, socialism was made through the happenstance union of meddlesomeness and uselessness.
* The Founding Fathers originally wanted to put the proper punishment for socialists in the Constitution, but decided the phrase “musket to the junk” just wasn’t appropriate for the document.
* If you think you see a socialist, report him to the nearest business owner so he can club him to death.
* When socialism destroys the country, many terrorist groups will try to claim credit. Hey, if you want credit for it you better start registering Democrat right now, terrorists.
* Oh, you’re already on top of that.
* Using socialism to help revive a failing economy is like putting angry weasels down your pants because you need some rest.
* How do you tell a socialist from a communist? It what color they burn when you set them on fire.
* Socialists have a new weapon — the stimulus. With this, they’ll reward failing businesses with your money. And why won’t that work to help the economy? Capitalism!
* If you find yourself surrounded by socialists, don’t panic. Just try to find the first flight out of Europe.
* The socialists main friend is the deadbeat, someone just as lazy and useless as socialist but who never had the idea to turn that into a political ideology.
* Obama was first enchanted by the ideals of socialism when he took a economics class while coked out of his mind.
* There are a lot of socialists in the animal kingdom… no wait, not the animal kingdom. What kingdom are viruses in?
* In a fight between Aquaman and socialists, Aquaman will end up penniless and on the streets since all his money will have been taken away to pay for the mortgage Black Manta took out knowing full well he couldn’t afford it.
* If a socialist bites you, immediately clean and cauterize the wound before you lose half your income to lazy people.
* The socialist’s main weaknesses are actual work and ass-kickings.
* Oh, and clubs.
Reader Laurie send me this disturbing photo of Nancy Pelosi and Rahm Emanuel… uh… enjoying each other’s company:
Could probably use a caption. I’ll start:
* “You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear L’Air du Temps, but not today.”
* “Is that a stimulus in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”
* “…tax & spend, tax & spend, tax & spend, tax & spend…”
* The flags aren’t the only thing flying at full staff
* “So, are you MARRIED-married, or just Clinton-married?”
* Dangerous (n) – sniffing the hair of a woman wearing a testicle necklace
* The REAL question is: is ANYONE in this picture wearing pants?
* “Your hair smells GILFtastic today!”
* “Gray suit” is the new “blue dress”
* She’d actually be grinning right now if it weren’t for the botox.
“… so then McCain says ‘a picnic table can support a family‘”
Your turn.
