Scientists have discovered a new extinct pliosaur that was fifty feet long, had a jaw ten feet long, and a biting power estimated to be more than ten times that of a modern alligator (four times that of a tyrannosaurus rex) and have dubbed it Predator X. I know what you’re thinking: “If we resurrect it, can we put rocket launchers on it?”
No, because that would be stupid as it’s not a dinosaur. It’s a “marine reptile.” We should put torpedo launchers on it.
No flamethrowers either I assume, surely we can attach something that spits flame underwater, there are plenty of fluids that would do it… Fire breathing Marine Reptile fitted with the best in underwater torpedo actions and an extra articulating kung-fu grip.
I’d donate my tax dollars for that!
Good call Frank but what about sonic weaponry or directed electricity weaponry? Could we genetically engineer giant pistol shrimp to attack our enemies? They have built in weaponry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKPrGxB1Kzc
Nah, just put a nuclear-tipped Mk-48 on it and send up that lazy ass river.
I say we put fricking lasers on their fricking heads.
They have to be able to defend themselves against the sharks, don’t they?
Predator X? Did it have an adamantium skeleton and a surly attitude?
Could we launch it out of one of our attack subs?
Cool. Was reading over the weekend that Predator raids over the border in Pockystahn were causing al-queda to become paranoid and dysfunctional. Can’t wait ’til they realize they’re actually being hunted by giant marine reptiles equipped with guided missiles. I’m thinkin’ that’ll be enough to make Osama cry “uncle.”
Too late. Cheney had it outfitted with cruise missiles and installed posh living quarters in it so he could make it his personal attack sub.
Torpedos would only scare terrorist in the water, and since they don’t bathe, that isn’t going to happen any time soon. I vote for ICBM. Haveing Iran’s whole cost lined with evil looking marine reptiles with Inter-Continental Balistic Missiles pointed at Tehran, will bring any issue we have with them to a close, real quick.
I thought Ted Kennedy was a marine reptile!
Are we sure they just didn’t find Nancy Pelosi?
To Ussjimmycarter: He is but more specifically he’s a marine snake.
Whatever it is, just point it toward Washington DC and let it do what it does best.
Don’t they have nuclear missiles on subs or something? Whatever armaments they have on subs, put on the pliosaur! Sneak it up to Afghanistan’s coast and threaten to nuke the terrorists unless they surrender! It’s a flawless plan!
No, don’t tell me: Afghanistan doesn’t have a coast. Yet another brilliant plan stymied by a lack of knowledge of geography!
“Predator X” is the informal name. The scientific name is “Michellus Obamus.”
Crusty,
Oddly enough, I’d rather face the giant Pliosaur than the OTHER giant, vicious, hideous reptile.