I knew we couldn’t trust the sun! Ends up it could destroy all our technology at any moment with a solar storm. Yet here we sit stupidly dependent on the sun. So why would the sun attack us like this? I don’t know, but what I do know is that nuking it only makes it stronger. We need like an anti-nuke to take out the sun, and that’s technology we don’t have. And what’s the Obama administration’s policy on this? They like the sun. They’re not even working on a defense! We need to be figuring out how to fight the sun now, but they’re too busy trying socialize the country to save us from our plasma-filled oppressor. Don’t worry; I’ll figure out how to destroy the sun. It’s my job as a blogger.
The Sun is a giant nuclear reactor.
Liberals are anti-nuclear.
Therefore, throw Liberals at the Sun.
Problem solved!
Your link to the “solar storm” is great. I love reading the comments by hippies that think global, excuse me, climate change is man’s responsibility and not the evil sun’s. The way to combat the sun is to take off the top of that one’s head, exposing the massive expanse of nothingness, that even the sun cannot penetrate.
I think the solution lies in the LHC. Since one of the Stated goals is to try and create a Mini Black Hole, all they need to do is create one, then learn how to amplify it, then keep it ready at a moments notice to combat the Sun. Problem Solved. You are welcome, Planet Earth.
Astronomers like to talk about “Dark Matter” all the time. It is the mysterious invisible “stuff” that they say makes up much of the universe. With billions and billions of tons of this stuff supposedly floating around, you’d think we’d have gotten our hands on some by now and figured out its properties. But so far we haven’t, and so it remains something of a hypothetical that serves only to make the astronomer’s math make sense. The scientists swear that this stuff exists, so I propose that we set out to collect large quantities of dark matter and shoot giant rocketloads of it at the sun, as the darkness of the dark matter will have a dimming effect on our sun and will do neat things to the aurora borealis.
Most people are said to have “gray matter” between their ears. Since we haven’t yet collected any dark matter and this is an urgent issue, we will have to settle for gray matter for now. Depending on the grayness of the gray matter, we can expect approximately 50% efficiency as compared to true Dark Matter. The gray matter found in the heads of Frank, Pelosi, Reid, Dodd, Obama and friends shall be extracted and fired into the sun. Admittedly, this crew doesn’t have much gray matter to contribute, but we can scale this experiment up if results are promising. A centrifuge that is normally used to enrich uranium will be employed to separate Frank’s gay matter from his gray matter, so as not to contaminate the sample.
All I need now is a funding grant from the NSF and a cocktail straw for the extractions. Contact your congressman and encourage an earmark for this project.
Screw the sun we need anti socialist, hippe, pinko, commie, moonbat, pot smoking dumbass technology.
I think it has something to do with all that Cylon tech that was dumped in there about 150,000 years ago.
“Knowing” about the danger of the sun doesn’t help either. We still get fried. We’ll need (Illegal) Aliens to Save The Children(tm).
I’ve about had it with this crappy solar system.
We’ll sneak up on the sun, at night, when it’s dark!
Maybe they could trot out all that Star Wars technology that is mothballed in Area 51. I do like the black hole idea; I believe Congress is a black hole, perhaps we could fire them at the sun using Halliburton E.M.P. Ion Cannon. Oh, and no wisecracks about O-bah-muhh’s various orifices with regard to black holes.
In Soviet Russia Sun Anti-Nukes You!
Maybe we can adopt the “umbrella” defense against the sun. I’ve seen it work locally, perhaps we can engineer one that works globally. I think the biggest argument will be where to put the giant handle with the self-opening push button: I suggest we put it at Frank’s house.
maybe if we feed the sun all the OBOTS it won’t destroy all of earths technology
Ok, you sun freaks. The bad thing is the solar minimum just keeps on going and going and going…
For a plot go here:
Solar Cycle Progression
With the recent discovery of a correlation between the length of extended solar minimums and short-term cooling cycles, I think we’re definitely headed for a decade or two of cold. The sun is dead – three years from its projected next maximum!!
Will someone please wake it up?? Frank?? Can you do it? Frank? Help us!
Cmon Frank, think, the solution is so simple.
Jupiter and Saturn are practically frozen,
just drop them into the Sun to chill it down a little.
If that isn’t enough, toss Uranus in- a planet named
after Keith Olbermann should be liquidated anyway.
Innominatus’ idea looks pretty good, too.
AA, Way to blow the Season finale for those who haven’t seen it yet. Personally, I’d like to consider myself descended from the line started by Lee Adama. I’m an Apollonite.
Mario always tried to warn us that the sun in evil! Wait until it comes in really low, then jump on it. You could also try star power to take it out when you are invincible.
We might not be able to nuke the sun directly, but how about a combination shot, where we nuke the moon into the sun? It might not destroy the sun, but it would put a good hurt on it, showing we mean business.
No problem, Code Pink will protest the sun, which will certainly end the sun dilemma. Or, if the democrats intend to put forward any anti-sun legislation, they can count on Arlen Specter to be right there to help them pass it right through. Maybe even Orrin Hatch can get in on it.
If flaring suns were outlawed,
only criminals would flare suns.
I can help. First get a really long fire hose…….
since hippies hate the earth so much lets move them to the sun.
Paul McCartney and John Lennon knew what was coming and weren’t even worried about. Damn hippies must have had their brains fried.
“….here comes the sun, and I said, it’s alright..”
“Here Comes The Sun”?? That was George Harrison.
Basil,
Given the severity of their crimes, to be associated with the Beatles is like unto writing a song with them. Whether it was John, Paul, George or Ringo, all are guilty of Beatleness and will not escape their punishment.
Grrr…. I really hate the Beatles.
“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone;
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind;
It’s gonna be a bright, bright, sun-shiny day!”
(SPF 50+ sunscreen released as a fine aersol spray at high altitude would protect us, right?)
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