On the bubble

This is my first week as a housewife/homemaker (whichever you prefer, I’m not picky), and I have already failed. The first thing I heard when I dragged myself out of bed at 7:15 this morning was, “The coffee didn’t taste as good today.”

Oops. He always tells me that the coffee tastes better when I make it. So I set it all up the night before so that he can have coffee with stale water instead of fresh water so the coffee can taste better. And last night I was just too tired from getting my butt kicked at swordfighting and then kicking butt at making potions and collecting Hogwarts mini-crests to remember anything that goes on outside the Wii.

He’s told me I’m on the bubble. So my question for you IMAO readers: If I lose this job, will Obama have created or saved it? Or both in one week?

32 Comments

  1. Wow, I’m torn. Frank J is the man,what with his column on RCP today. On the other hand, I was trained as a baby on a Oklahoma ranch that real men don’t whine about the coffee unless they made it.

    Personally, I’d blame it on Obama. How could you miss with that one?

  2. Unless Frank has someone lined up as a potential replacement, I suggest you call his bluff.

    Also, your question is moot. If you keep this job, Obama saved it, if you re-enter the workforce, Obama just created a new one. The real question is: “Why do you insist on being a cog in the Obama propaganda machine?”

  3. Your husband is being an ass. The proper response to your coffee should be “Thank you for making me coffee so that I can sit on my lazy butt and blog.”

    If he really found the coffee objectionable, this would have been better:
    Frank: “Good morning sweet cheeks! How did you sleep?”
    Sarah: “I’m still tired from last night.”
    Frank: “I’m sorry to hear that. The coffee tastes different today. What’s changed?”
    Sarah: “Oh, I wasn’t able to get the water in the night before. I’m sorry sweety! I know you don’t like it that way.”
    Frank: “That’s OK, dear, I’m glad you made me coffee today. I love you.”
    [Kiss kiss kiss]
    That way he does two crucial things: (1) makes sure the first thing you hear in the morning is “Good Morning” not “Why have you failed me?” (2) finds out that the coffee’s bad taste is a one-off deal BEFORE making you feel chewed out for something unavoidable.

  4. It’s not about unemployment. How many miles per cup of coffee is Frank getting now? If it is under 16, then you qualify for the cash for clunkers program and he can simply trade you in for a more efficient model!

  5. can’t answer that question. it has my head spinning. but here’s an idea….you could, accidentally of course, forget to rinse the coffeemaker after you clean it with vinegar water that way when you make coffee without vinegar, he’ll be thankful.

  6. Simple complaints about coffee could be a warning sign that Frank is turning British, and will now prefer tea. To check, rent “The Patriot” and watch who he roots for. If he is indeed turning British, you do not have to treat as it is a non-fatal condition, but if you choose treatment, an 18-hour John Wayne marathon should do the trick.

  7. Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t make it as clear as I thought I did in the post: Frank had to make his own coffee, because I forgot. That’s why it didn’t taste as good. Because he had to make it himself.

    molly, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have deleted nothing. I would more likely have edited anything I didn’t like.

  8. I retired from full-time house-wifery nine years ago when my youngest started school full time. It was the best job I have ever had. I look forward to the day my last kid leaves home, gets a good job, and I can retire back to it.

    That said, the proper response to “You are on the bubble.” is, “You can’t put me on the bubble I’m the housewife here, I have all the pins.”

  9. As a full time mom/housewife I welcome you to our little club!

    Remember, many times husbands will intentionally fail at household duties so they will not be asked to perform them again (I’m sure we had this discussion fairly recently regarding dishwasher loading). YOu can with play along with the game or be angry that he ‘can’t do anything right’. I prefer to play along….and you can use the same game for unpleasantries like mowing, spiders, and plumbing.

  10. Comes with the territory, sarahk. ‘Course, my hubby is so darn picky about coffee that he prefers to make it himself, and I prefer to let him.

    I quit my job to be a full-time mom. Best thing I ever did.

  11. Doh, RIGHT? It’s amazing that I can get the used filter to the trash w/ no drip (or I paper towel up the mess I do make), and when he does it, it looks like a coffee can peed all over the floor. Also, I put the coffee cans and filters back in the cabinet where they go, and he leaves them out. I do prefer to do it myself, and he prefers that too.

  12. Having been a house-husband myself, I declare the rule that anyone who brings the spouse coffee in bed in the morning gets zero complaints about the coffee quality.

    Also, the comment “An hour or two of bedroom skills can completely erase a month of bad coffee and any thought of bubbles” is incorrect.
    These skills will erase ALL wrongs.

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