Taking down names…

Reference link.

Cross-posted at America is an Obamanation!

Right Wing News has out its new ranking of the top forty blogs, and IMAO is number 11. There are ten whole blogs better than IMAO? That’s hard to imagine. So what other blogs do you guys read and are they better than IMAO?

(Correct Answer: No other blogs and I would punch the hippie who would even suggest another blog could be better than IMAO).

Turns out President Obama’s seemingly out of touch reaction to the Gulf oil spill disaster was all the result of a simple misunderstanding.

When his advisers told him he needed to spend more time on the “Gulf Coast,” he thought they said that he needed to spend more time on the “Golf Course.”

Oops!

You ever think that maybe the two parties are too far gone and it’s time to start over? Like, instead of making third parties, we should just agree to disband both the Republican and Democrat parties and start over with brand new parties in their place. What should we name the two parties, though? Here’s a few ideas:

NEW NAMES FOR THE TWO MAJOR PARTIES

* Freedom Lovers Party and Freedom Is Scary Party

* The Don’t Touch My Stuff Party and the Wussy Whiners Party

* The Guns and Whiskey Party and the Weird Man-Child Party

* The Awesome Party of Awesome and the Mincing Little Sissies Party

* The Don’t Tread on Me Party and the I Have Girl Parts Where Man Parts Should Be Party

* The Rugged Individualist Party and the Please Protect Me Government Because I Don’t Know How to Do Anything Useful Party

* The No Ron Pauls Club and the Commie Pinko Fascist Smelly Hippie Commune

Just a few ideas I had. Got any good new party names?

I have an idea of how Israel can handle the flotillas next time with less chance of outrage. When a flotilla comes, they should immediately send commandos to board it, shoot and kill everyone on it, cut off their heads, put the heads into boxes, and mail the boxes back to their home countries.

Here’s my theory: The Middle East and a lot of the rest of the world is so worked up being outraged about Israel that if Israel did something really outrageous, their brains would overload and shut down. It will be like a million voices cried out “Jooooo!” and were suddenly silenced.

It’s Science!

George W. Bush recently said he was not sorry about waterboarding Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. In fact, Bush said, “My only regret is that we didn’t waterboard him more and to less purpose.” They even released a partial transcript from one of the waterboarding sessions:

BUSH: Now you’re gonna talk, Strawberry Shake Mohammed!

KSM: I’ll tell you everything I know!

BUSH: Not good enough! I want more than you know! Waterboard him!

KSM: **gurgle**

BUSH: Now, what’s your name?

KSM: I already told you: It’s Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

BUSH: I want it to be “Reginald Cummerbund.” Waterboard him until he says his name is Reginald Cummerbund!

KSM: **gurgle**

Of course, we don’t get this fierce determination from our current president. Did you hear what Obama recently said about terrorism?

“Terrorists are just a normal part of nature like the antelope and basalt rock, and we should learn to live with them.”

And instead of waterboarding terrorists, he sits in a drum circle with them and smokes pot. No wonder analysts soon expect Belgium to replace us as a superpower.

So what do you think about Helen Thomas and her wacky ethnic cleansing ideas?

Now must of the White House press corps are fringe left-wingers who are virulent anti-Semites and also hate black people (as far as I know), but they have the good sense to at least try and not sounds like total nuts all the time. Unfortunately, Helen Thomas lost that good sense when she entered old age and started going senile forty years ago. She should be doing crazy rants at home with her family around her, not to Robert Gibbs in lieu of a question.

I can’t even get too angry at her, I just wonder why her colleagues or okay with her constantly embarrassing herself like this. Of course, I don’t understand the White House Press Corps history, so maybe they’re always supposed to have a crazy ranting person up front. If that’s the case, couldn’t they let Helen Thomas retire in peace and instead get a Ron Paul supporter to take her seat?

Hey, someone paid for the expensive blog ads space, so I feel I should mention — except it’s the Wall Street Journal so you already know about them. They’re the only newspaper that isn’t hemorrhaging money. They also have on online business model that actually makes money. Anyway, weird how like the only successful paper left is a right-leaning… well, weird in how predictable that is. So check them out, as the ad money they pay helps me not get bored of blogging and abandon it for a new hobby like whittlin’.

So Obama apparently is making it a regular habit to bribe people with jobs to get them to drop out of races. And what’s the biggest offense here: The illegal bribing or that he does it so unsuccessfully? So far we only have instances of people rejecting the bribe. If you’re going to break the law, at least have some reasonable expectation of success. Now Obama just looks both corrupt and impotent.

And apparently this is all illegal and he could be impeached over it. I was a little surprised by that; it’s hard to tell what’s just the usual scummy political stuff from what’s actually illegal. I’ve never been too keen to impeach Obama because then we end up with Biden, but I think I realize now it would be really really hard to do worse than Obama, plus every so often Biden makes sense.

Still, it seems illegitimate to demand Obama be thrown out over this, because I can’t pretend I’m outraged over Obama incompetently trying to hand out crappy jobs in his administration. To me this is just something I want to make fun of him for, not a source of outrage. It would be like seeking impeachment over him having big funny ears that stick out.

So what do you say? Should we take this very seriously and seek Obama’s head or just continue laughing at him and mocking him?