I can’t think of anything to blog. A few things did happen in politics over the weekend, though, such as the tax bill passing, the DADT repeal passing, and DREAM act failing, but I don’t really have anything new to say about any of that. It was a bit fun, though, seeing the left screeching about the tax bill and no one caring (more Democrats in the House voted for it than Republicans).
Yeah, I’m looking at the news and I just can’t come up with anything. Usually I can force myself at least two topics a day, but nothing right now. Maybe I’m burnt out and ready for Christmas. Anyway, I’ll try again tomorrow. In the meantime, you can comment on any topic you’d like me to talk about.
And I’ll end with this:
Whatever happened to Herbert Powell from The Simpsons? That was Homer’s half-brother voiced by Danny DeVito from a second season episode who owned an auto company and then Homer ruined him. In the third season, Homer helped him become rich again… and we haven’t seen him since. That’s around eighteen or nineteen years missing.
Herbert is living in Idaho under the alias “Buttercup Fleming” and is transferring all his wealth to to spacemonkey via PayPal. Which is only fair since you are spending your wealth on Buttercup via diaper changes.
RANDOM THOUGHT:
Should people who can’t find a problem with stabbing scissors into a babies head and sucking out its brains with a vacuum actually have any say in whether or not it’s okay our kids eat McDonald’s or a bag of potato chips?
* Frank, since you have nothing to say, I’m willing to rant about all of the conservatives who think the military should be more like the equality-filled life of daily America. But I may just be a homophobe or whatever other meaningless term we come up with next.
* Frank, do you like your Kindle? My Dad just bought one because he can’t read books as well as he could years ago. I still prefer actual books, but I’m also curious.
* Repeal the 17th Amendment!
* You are all invited to join me in a celebratory party when Ed Rendell leaves office! We will be serving such Pennsylvania specialties as scrapple, liver and onions, hog maw, chipped beef and toast, sauerkraut, apple crisps, and Yuengling.
Simpson writers just went “D’Oh!”
I think he’s in Kenya. Herbert that is.
How about this for a rant: I grow weary of news folks talking about how these “tax cuts” are going to spur the economy.
1) They were not cuts, but rather extensions of current rates. Ergo, no increased economic activity likely.
2) They were enacted so late that many small businesses were likely forced to factor in their expiration anyway.
5) The only hostage taking type of activity was done by the Democrats who refused to hold this debate prior to the election.
If I were Frank J., I’d be able to write the above rant into a humorous article filled with irony, sarcasm and Buttercup references.
Kindley stuff: The Kindle reader for the PC is free. You can purchase and read Kindle editions on a laptop, etc. if you want. Also, there are Kindle readers for some smart phones. I read Kindle editions on my Nokia N900. I prefer it to a Kindle because my N900 is backlit.
Regarding gays in the military, I believe Opera Man said it best:
“Watcha you hiney, watcha you crotchie,
Here cumma Sergeant Liiiii-berrr-aaaa-cheeeeeee!”
Let’s come up with ideas for what to do with openly-homosexual servicemembers.
I mean, we segregate males from females in barracks (that’s housing, for you civvies) , showers, locker-rooms, etc…and for good reasons. Fraternization is a morale killer. Most females don’t want anyone of the opposite sex in their showers gawking at them(unlike most males, who would prefer to only have ladies there checking them out). Unit leaders don’t want soldier’s sharing beds and STD’s, at least not with other soldiers. We also don’t want to deal with any undue drama that comes from horny twenty-somethings stepping on each other’s game.
So, now that we are going to have people who are openly sexually attracted to the same sex, how does the military deal with it? I doubt that the females who don’t want guys staring in the shower will be any more comfortable if a lesbian is oogling them. And it would be more than just a distraction if Pvt. Pitcher and Spc. Catcher keep the rest of the platoon awake with a lispy cat fight. And, unlike straight males and females, you can’t just put all the gays in a seperate barracks – they might redecorate! And if homo-sexuals start getting special treatment, like individual rooms, when everyone else is in a group open-bay, there is likely to be a lot of straight soldiers getting gay-for-pay(well, at least acting gay for perks).
One more thing. We currently don’t allow females in combat-arms units. Partly, this is because they are physically different from males – they have different hygiene needs, pms, not generally as strong(of course, there are exceptions). Another reason we keep females out of combat units involves the expected treatment from enemy captors. Most of our muslim extremist enemies don’t treat women that well, so we would prefer to keep women away from them. Guess how the muslim extremists, and even muslim moderates, feel about homosexuls.
You know that kid on TV that has an investment account and stuff and trades from his crib. That’s Buttercup. But she hasn’t shown a great deal of interest in investing. She has, however discovered the joy of on-line shopping since finding Frank J’s credit card! Good girl Buttercup!!!
Be sure to check out Monday Night Football tonight! You will get quite a show as you see what a miserable part of the country we live in up here! It’s already started to snow and they are predicting 6 to 8 inches! The field for the brand new Gopher Stadium isn’t heated so it’s going to be be a skating rink once they remove the cover and everything freezes!!! We are starting our 3rd string Quarterback because…well…because we are the Vikings who use to be coached by Brad Childress and we suck!!!
Did that dome really collapse? I swear it looked like CGI. Now my Giants yesterday -THAT was a real collapse!
The usual ideas for blogging topics:
* Why Christmas shopping dulls the male blogger’s mind.
* Funniest _____ (event, quote, disaster, etc.) in 2010
* New Year’s resolutions.
* Predictions for 2011.
* Some kind of contest.
* A Riddle.
* Science! (any topic as long as it’s junk science!)
But I like this one the best:
* Suggestions for Frank on how to run his blog.
I got nothin’.
Coldguy,
You are a bigot, a homophobe, and a sexist.
I don’t actually mean that, but someone else will.
Until you break through this writer’s block, at least put the katana-wielding snowman back in the header for the holidays.
You know that Santa’s Always Watching gimmick, Elf on a Shelf? Apparenty, you are supposed to hide it in different places around your house and your kids will be extra good because the creepy elf is watching.
All I can think of is the various ways to stage Elf-on-a-Shelf murder scenes – the elf with his tiny head in the oven, the elf hanging from a tiny noose on the doorknob….
Plus also, I heard the phrase “Obama Tax Cuts” on the radio today (referring to extending the Bush tax code), and I about swerved into oncoming traffic.
Coldguy, your last paragraph is exactly why teh gheys should be at the forefront of the combat troops. It is a self solving problem.
Frank isn’t getting any sleep. No katana-welding snowman, the posts not up to his usual perfection, no Nuke The Moon T-shirts. Yup, Frank has a baby. I remember with my first I drove into a concrete and steel pillar in a garage. Frank isn’t doing too bad. Either it’s Buttercup, or he was up all night playing Goldeneye.
Random Thoughts:
*One of the arguments I’ve heard for repealing DADT is that it forces gays in the military to lie abut who they are.
Leave it to liberals to figure out a way to lie about something no one is allowed to ask them and they’re not supposed to answer.
*I think the underlying problem with DADT is that gays aren’t able to keep secrets.
Good thing the military doesn’t rely on keeping secrets.
KnitterChick – he’s napping at the bottom of the aquarium. The little rat had it comin’.
Since Homer already ruined him once, Herbet Powell is staying the $#@& away from Springfield as he can. He’s been living in a resort in the Australian Outback where he raises giant Pandas trained as ninjas with lasers and rocket launchers.
I, as per usual, agree with Burmashave. Also, I will refuse to call any legislation involving taxes a “tax cut” until a Mexican-accented, mustachioed Republican representative cuts apart the Sixteenth Amendment with a Bowie knife before turning the knife on that deflated basketball of a Democrat from Arizona.
Random thought:
It’s been cold for us here in SoFla. Last night is was in the mid 40s, last week we had a couple of overnight lows in the mid thirties. I know you hardy folk up north refer to temperatures in the thirties as “summer” but it’s really cold for us thin skinned, wear shorts everywhere we go Floridians. I mean, I had to actually turn OFF the air conditioner last week and haven’t turned it back on yet! Imagine that! Then I had to wear a JACKET and LONG PANTS! Really! Man, now I know how Nanook of the North feels…
I do not believe I have seen a winter overnight low that was higher than 28 degrees in my entire life.
Poor, poor PI – he even had to put the top up on his car.
“Last night it was in the mid ’40’s” During this time of year, we deal with mid 40’s…BELOW ZERO!!! Then we add 40 or 50 miles per hour winds whipping up our a$$ and we have a mild -100 or so to deal with! In other words, nature tries to kill us here in Minnesota about 3 months out of the year!!! But we love it for some reason. I think it’s probably all the high taxes and left wing tards that entertain us conservatives…
28°C, Marko? -1, units.
(The trend is clear, Frank. Let’s talk about the weather! Oh and how about that Lunar eclipse corresponding with the Solstice, eh? I’m almost positive, sorta, that this does not bode well for 2011 and beyond…)
“Poor, poor PI – he even had to put the top up on his car.”
Since I don’t have a convertible, I’ve been spared that indignity. Of course the snowbirds are in town laughing at us shivering South Floridians, making snide comments like “You call this cold? We’re real manly northern men. Now back home we know what cold is, you woozies! You should try ice fishing!”
So how come you’re down here clogging our roads then, Mr. Manly Northern Man?
Proud Infidel,
Not all old Yankees are equal. Now, my old Pappy would never move to Florida. Like all Pennsylvanians who stay here through old age, he only threatens to move to Florida.
I thought it was sad that you had almost a 5 star rating for a blog that says you weren’t hoing to write anything. So, I gave this post one star, because a day without writing is like a day without vodka: cold, empty and kind of makes me shake uncontrollably.
Actually, I’m a Yankee too, I was born in New Jersey but my dad decided to move south while I was a very small child. I didn’t even see snow until I was 19 and joined the Air Force and was sent to Colorado. Then I understood why my dad decided to head south. Thanks, Dad!
Infidel, I respect you too much to call you a son-of-a-sissy. But I will admit that I thought it.
I took Frank’s advice and stopped by Wal Mart to see if I could spot any unusual people.
Damn. I think I stumbled into a regimental assembly area of ’em.
I almost called a J-Dam in on my position.
Just wait until we get ghey generals. The new army outfits will be FABULOUS.
Although, we may have a really good torture alternative to interrogate muslims.
The Army should have been recruiting lesbo’s anyway, we need men in our army.
So wait, John Hawkins calls you number two and you still can’t blog?
Talk about demotivated.
if the Giants could wake up and go to work today, so can you.
Who’d a thunk a “Meh” thread would get 33 comments! More “meh,” Frank. But jazz it up and call it…
Meh!
(We tease, but have a Merry Christmas! And get something nice for your good wife. See you next year.)
Son of a sissy? I’ll have you know I am the sissy, Mr. Mancuso. At least compared to my father. He boxed in the Golden Gloves for a while. Me, box? Surely you jest, I’m too good looking for that! Besides, well, I’m a sissy.
I don’t know why Danny DeVito never reprised his Herbert Powell role. Prolly cause he had a tiff with one of the producers. Or was afraid of the Simpson curse, back when some former guest actors kept dying soon afterwards.
Anyway Frank, don’t fret. Your first job will always be Buttercup. If you feel you’re running out of funny things to say don’t worry, you’re just growing up.
(Sarah – “Finally!”)
So you gotta pace things a little slower (blog-wise). You’re never gonna lose the funny, but it’ll take a bit more time for the funk to gel/build up.
You got new baby burn-out. And I know back in the cesspool of your humor department brain you’re trying to think of how aspects of Buttercups’ foibles can inspire the next ‘random thought’. But most don’t materialize, do they. Instead of “Oh God I gotta blog this!” you’re really thinking “That is the cutest effing thing I ever did done see”. And it’s intimate, and you don’t really wanna thrust most of that into the limelight.
So enjoy your family. Remember, one day at a time. 🙂
This whole internet thing has pretty much run its course anyway.
“That’s around eighteen or nineteen” SIMPSON “years ”
That’s what, 6 or 7 months of real time?
Maggie is still working on that pacifier, and
Bart is still only a juvenile offender.
You’re right, Rockhead,
“The internet?! Is that thing STILL around?”
– Homer Simpson
May 16, 1999
For a long time, in an effort to avoid my half brother Homer, I took shelter with the Animaniacs up in the Warner Bros. water tower. After a while I knew I had to find a better hiding place because that damn Wakko is even crazier and more aggravating then Homer. Eventually I solved my problem by taking on a whole new identy. I hired artists to draw me differently, hired a different guy to do my voice, moved to Rhode Island, changed my name to Peter Griffin, and now I’m the head of my own dysfunctional TV cartoon family…..Herbert Powell, Quahog Rhode Island. PS: One of these days I’m going to have my talking dog Brian bite that SOB Homer.
40 responses without a new post! Thats some kind of winter blah you’re stuck in, Frank. Or is Princess Buttercup not sleeping through the night getting to you? Welcome all to the new blog – IMAO/Meh!
In this year’s listing of “most meh” blogs, IMAO came in second.