Some things transcend politics and change the way we see the world. I’m speaking of course of the Navy’s new railgun.

What is the railgun? No, it’s not a gun that shoots trains at the enemy (though that sounds kind of cool; maybe the Navy should work on that too). It’s a gun that uses magnets to kill. Like think of one of the magnets on your refrigerator. Now imagine one of those magnets chucked at your head. Now imagine that time 33 million. That’s a railgun.

Instead of explosives, railguns use Science! to fire bullets so fast the air catches fire. And they can fire up to a hundred miles away. And it literally can shoot through schools. It’s so awesome, sometimes we just have to point it at things and they explode in anticipation of the railgun firing. It’s a disruptive technology that will change ammo storage concerns, the way we do naval warfare, long range combat, the gay marriage debate, childhood obesity, the alternative minimum tax… everything. In fact, if a problem can’t be solved by the railgun, it probably can’t be solved. And any unsolvable problems we’ll just blow up with our railgun.

Like think if we have a war with China. We won’t have to fly all the way across the world to fight them. Instead, we’ll just point our railgun straight down at the ground at SHOOT STRAIGHT THROUGH THE EARTH INTO CHINA! You mess with America, China, and you mess with the railgun, and you can’t deal with that.

Eventually, the railgun will be so powerful, IT WILL SHOOT THROUGH TIME. Right now, seventy years ago, Nazi Germany is working on a time capsule to warn Nazis today to take out the railgun because they know WE’LL USE IT TO KILL HITLER! But you can’t stop the march of technology. One day everyone will have a railgun. And a jetpack. And we’ll all live in peace. Awesome peace.

So Bernie Sanders did an 8.5 hour filibuster against the tax deal the other day and liberals are hailing him as some sort of hero. Problem here is that Bernie Sanders is a self-identified socialist, and the American people hate socialists. They especially hate them when they talk. And especially if they’re talking for a long time. And especially if they’re talking about raising taxes.

The left's new hero (because he's white).

Anyway, this seems to be yet another episode in the left’s quest to become as weird and unappealing as possible. You might have thought they’d learn something from the last election, but they’re still screeching and throwing fits about things no one else cares about like the rich not getting their taxes raised (Oh no! We won’t get our “the rich had their taxes raised” prize!). And while everyone else is still worried about jobs, they’re cheering on a weird old socialist who doesn’t even have the most basic grasp of economics.

Strange that Obama is now the more moderate one in this situation. I think he’s learned he has a lot more to fear from the right than left’s impotent threats to primary him.