Well, well, well! It seems the Republicans in the Senate just may have grown a pair by promising to stand united and filibuster the Dems’ Hurry-Up Offense flurry of Progressive wish-list legislation in advance of their turning over the keys to the House in January. At least until the looming massive tax-increases on absolutely everyone who pays taxes are stopped and the government is kept funded until the next Congress can pass an actual budget (something the Dems thought was trivial and not worth their time and effort despite it being one of the few responsibilities of the Congress enumerated in the Constitution! — See Article 1, Section 9, the part about “No money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law.”)
After all, the voters decided to evict Nancy and the Donks from the Big Chair for just such abuses of power as, well, rushing through unpopular and possibly unconstitutional legislation that does nothing but screw up the economy and destroy the fabric of the country in order to serve their special interest groups and nutroot kooks…oh, and of course, The Dark Lord Soros instead of concentrating on what’s best for the country, like jobs and the economy and people’s ability to do trivial crap like feed their kids and pay their mortgages. So, naturally, the Democrats schedule a last-gasp effort to do the former again at the expense of the latter. Go figure!
So, what could be so important that the Democrats need to hurry up and pass it with their collective dying breath before bothering with a budget and saving the populace from the untold economic misery from a massive tax increase even most of them agree we can’t afford in the midst of one of the worst recessions in history?
New powers for the Food Police that will cause food prices to skyrocket; Gays serving openly in the military; Free goodies for illegal aliens…the really, really important stuff the whole country can’t wait to see passed!
So, since they seem intent on making asses of themselves, let’s help the Democrats out here by helping them fill in some more important agenda items that need to be addressed before the Republicans can block it in the House and they need to concentrate on all that mundane, necessary stuff like budgets.
- In the wake of repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, immediately pass a bill establishing an all-transvestite & transsexual combat squad…the T&A Team! (Or maybe they’d prefer the Pink Berets?)
- A resolution declaring the prime-time lineup at MSNBC a National Treasure and Keith Olbermann’s bathtub & Chris Matthews’ leg National Historical Monuments, making each of them eligible for millions in federal grants.
- A bill linking the new TSA x-ray and grope procedures at the nation’s airports with ObamaCare, saving billions in costs annually by counting them as medical check-ups! (“Now, turn your head and cough.”)
- A new law banning the use of those nasty old fossil fuels in favor of such new “green” technology as…well, we’ll leave that part for later. Let’s just ban the fossil fuels for now! Think of the polar bears we’ll save!
- A bill declaring each September 11th from now on as “National Hug an Imam Day” in the interest of promoting peace and multicultural understanding.
- An appropriations bill for trillions of dollars in new stimulus spending on such job-creating projects as studying the effects of fish farts on ocean currents and creating public murals depicting President Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid hugging children and snuggling with puppies.
- New banking loan regulations giving preferential treatment to the chronically unemployed so they can borrow their way out of debt! What could go wrong?
Now it’s your turn! What else can the Democrats do in the lame-duck session before the clock runs out on the Progressive Candyland Grab-a-Thon? Have at it in the comments!