There’s a lot of competition for coolest gift for Buttercup, but author Mike Z. Williamson’s wife Gail (who also does combat photography) made this Nuke the Moon™ afghan for Buttercup:

Hopefully a reality in her lifetime.

Now Buttercup can go to sleep every night dreaming of world peace.

Also, I should mention Mike Z. Williamson is going to be a part of Operation Fight the Post Holiday Blues to help keep up troop morale after the holidays. They still need to raise more money, though, so donate if you can.

And as a bonus, here’s a picture of Buttercup thinking about the moon being nuked:

The left really is worked up about the rich needing to have their taxes raised. This is kinda hard to understand, as I don’t really get what benefit they think we’ll get from raising taxes in a bad economy, but I’ve listened carefully to a number of liberals, and here is a transcription of their argument of why we need to raise taxes on the rich:

“I get really worked up about the rich not paying more in taxes because how much they earn affects me because of [unintelligible]. And we really need the tax money; sure, we did a ton of spending without worrying about having revenue to back it up before, but now it’s really important because of [unintelligible]. And I don’t buy the argument or historical evidence that raising taxes will decrease tax revenue by harming the economy since [unintelligible]. There is just no reason to think that taking money away from job creators will harm job growth if you factor in [unintelligible]. In fact, raising taxes on the rich could help the economy by [unintelligible]. Really, the reason I get so worked up about us needing to tax the rich is because once their taxes are raised we all get the awesome prize of [unintelligible].”

I think that covers their whole argument. Did I miss anything?

Hey, know what would raise a lot of tax revenue? Getting everyone jobs.

I’m back from my trip! Yay! Thanks to Basil for keeping the blog active while I was gone.

Anyway, while in Texas we went to the Fort Worth zoo. It was pretty neat, and one of the orangutans had a newborn baby (an orangutan baby, not someone else’s baby), and I still don’t think the zoo has publicly announced it yet. I liked the zoo, but Buttercup just slept in her stroller the whole time, as she’s just a stupid eight-week-old baby. Still, I decided I need to practice being a father who is going to educate her and stuff, so here are all the facts I know of the animals we saw, accompanied by the pictures SarahK took.

FUN ANIMAL FACTS

* Due to its long, flexible neck, the pink flamingo is notorious for how difficult it is to execute by hanging.

* The white tiger cannot jump.

* The rhinoceros is the rare offspring of a unicorn and a lizard.

* The gorilla is the largest primate other than your mom.

* Penguins thrive due to a symbiotic relationship with Morgan Freeman.

* Giraffes have long necks to make eating grass seem less boring.

* The hippopotamus is best known for spouting conspiracy theories on The View.

* Since the elephant never forgets, he instead drinks to socialize.

* The lion’s large mane means it’s unemployed.

* The goliath birdeating tarantula got its name because zoologists got tired of kids asking, “What does it eat?”

* The cheetah was rated the fastest animal on land until it was disqualified for using performance enhancing drugs.

* The parrot’s ability to talk helps it hunt its favorite food: human faces.

* Due to its bright orange hair, the orangutan is often mistaken for a prop comic.

* The jaguar has largely been replaced in its ecosystem by the NCISuar.

* The bongo is yet another hoofed animal with antlers that no one finds particularly interesting.

* The zebra is a horse designed by Andy Warhol.

* Here are some more hoofed things with antlers. Really, who cares?

* The mountain lion’s main food source is the daughters of CTU agents who wander away from the plot.

* Due to the kangaroo’s built in pouch, it always gets severely molested by TSA agents.

* The coyote is the only member of the canine family that uses tools ordered by mail.

* The Komodo dragon (right) is not really a dragon; it’s just a lizard that flies and breathes fire.

* The Burmese python can swallow a sheep whole, though at the dinner table that gets it yelled at by its mom.

* The leaf-nosed snake is known for helping more attractive snakes woo females.

* The saltwater crocodile is a frequent enemy of Batman.

* The bald eagle recovered from near extinction after its thunderdomes were shut down.