So Justice Stephen Breyer was on Larry King trying to have a being old contest, and Breyer said he’s against gun rights because according to his Founding Father fan fiction they didn’t really mean it when they wrote the 2nd Amendment.

Why become a Supreme Court Justice if you hate the Constitution? Obviously Breyer sees the Constitution as just an obstacle to whatever he wants, so he has to keep coming up with increasingly asinine and convoluted reasons to ignore what it plainly says. Anyway, as a historian, I will tell you of what the Founding Father’s think of Breyers opinion: musket to the junk!

One of the failings in writing the Constitution was not realizing how completely idiotic some Justices would be in ignoring everything written in it. If the Founding Fathers had realized this, they probably would have written a “musket to the junk” provision to handle Justices like Breyer who are extremely blatant in disregarding the Constitution. Of course, you’d have some liberal judge today saying you could use a rifle instead of a musket, but that’s not what it says. READ WHAT IT SAYS AND GO BY THAT!

So the mandate forcing people to buy insurance in Obamacare got struck down as unconstitutional. That’s wacky. I mean, obviously what’s in Obamacare is so far and away from the scope of the federal government as the Founders intended that the mere suggestion of Obamacare would cause the Founding Father to grab their muskets, but I thought we stopped caring about that. Yet, a judge actually ruled based on the Constitution and not some goateed impostor Constitution form an alternate dimension. And the judge didn’t just wave his hand in the air and say, “Commerce Clause!”

Well, that’s a dill of pickle for liberals. They at least comforted themselves during their huge losses in November that they got Obamacare passed and — as is the nature of entitlements — it would be there forever (or until the entitlements society collapses in riots like is happening in Europe). Now it looks as though they might have went on their suicide mission all for naught.

As 20th century philosopher Nelson Muntz would say, “Haw haw.”

So there’s this No Labels group that met together to try and stop all the fussin’ and the fightin’ and get everyone to get along in politics. So they’re like a centrist group, but there is a couple problems. For one, any group that calls themselves centrist is inevitably far left compared to the American public at large — at looking at who is a member it’s mainly Democrats and a handful of Republicans we just threw out for being useless. Second, most people who identify as moderate or centrist do so because they don’t follow politics much, so the only enthusiastic centrists are politicians trying to get themselves (hey, look, Charlie Crist is a member!).

Still, I thought I’d help out and try and come up with a killer slogan for them. Here are my ideas so far:

SLOGANS FOR NO LABELS

* We’re like centrists and stuff you stupid extremists.

* Against labels since people only ever used mean ones on us.

* The only thing we feel strongly about is how reasonable we think we are.

* Everybody is mean to us. Will you be our friend?

* It’s time we stop arguing and unite together and blah blah blah.

* We can all agree that being elected to office is fun!

* Stop calling us left-wing! That’s a label! And we’re not!

* We won’t have slogans; they’re too much like labels!

* [bland generic pap goes here]

* Know who puts labels on things? The Nazis. And Walmart.

* Stop laughing at us!

* Principles. Convictions — they get in the way of reasonable-soundingness.