No Labels Slogans

So there’s this No Labels group that met together to try and stop all the fussin’ and the fightin’ and get everyone to get along in politics. So they’re like a centrist group, but there is a couple problems. For one, any group that calls themselves centrist is inevitably far left compared to the American public at large — at looking at who is a member it’s mainly Democrats and a handful of Republicans we just threw out for being useless. Second, most people who identify as moderate or centrist do so because they don’t follow politics much, so the only enthusiastic centrists are politicians trying to get themselves (hey, look, Charlie Crist is a member!).

Still, I thought I’d help out and try and come up with a killer slogan for them. Here are my ideas so far:

SLOGANS FOR NO LABELS

* We’re like centrists and stuff you stupid extremists.

* Against labels since people only ever used mean ones on us.

* The only thing we feel strongly about is how reasonable we think we are.

* Everybody is mean to us. Will you be our friend?

* It’s time we stop arguing and unite together and blah blah blah.

* We can all agree that being elected to office is fun!

* Stop calling us left-wing! That’s a label! And we’re not!

* We won’t have slogans; they’re too much like labels!

* [bland generic pap goes here]

* Know who puts labels on things? The Nazis. And Walmart.

* Stop laughing at us!

* Principles. Convictions — they get in the way of reasonable-soundingness.

32 Comments

  1. # FormerHostage says:
    * ….

    That pretty much says it. If you call yourselves the No Labels Party, then that’s your label, so you really aren’t the No Labels Party, are you?

    – The Party Formerly Known as Prince
    – Look Ma! No ideological moorings whatsoever!
    – The “Know Nothings” label had already been taken
    – The Jackasses and Morons Party just didn’t have the same ring

  2. *LOL* Very nice slogans indeed. But the point is that no matter how ironic you may be there’ll laways be people who
    – would like to be centrists;
    – would feel like suppporting the ones who would like to be centrists.

    [It’s mainly the left who want to be known as centrists; they often trick themselves not knowing how fringe their ideas are. And no one enthusiastically supports centrists because their main appeal is who don’t follow politics closely. “Yay status quo and career politicians!” That was Crist’s dream. -Ed.]

  3. – We’re moderates! We don’t stand for anything!
    – What!? You’re proud to be a conservative? But we moderates are so much cooler! Really!
    – Yeah we’re really liberals with no labels.

  4. “We are the barcode beer of the 21st Century”

    “Obama already used Solid B+”

    “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but labels are just too much for our pathetic undeveloped brains to handle”

  5. DamnCat,
    I’d suggest a flounder for two reasons –

    1. The fish is a bottom feeder and has both eyes on the same side of its head so it can only see in one direction (to the left?)

    2. The definition of the verb “flounder”
    – To make clumsy attempts to move or regain one’s balance.
    – To move or act clumsily and in confusion.

  6. “You know how much fun it is to find out what’s in that old can in the pantry that lost its label?
    Well, now imagine how much fun it is knowing you have to eat the contents after you open it -that’s what voting for our candidates will be like.
    …Hey everybody, looks like we’re having pickled squid for dinner tonight!”

  7. Department of Homeland Security analysis for “No Labels” :

    Name: No Labels
    Origin: New York, NY
    Membership: Unknown
    Slogan: “Not Left. Not Right. Forward”
    Political Affiliation: None
    Campaign Contributions: Unknown
    Candidates: None
    Ideology: “Not everything is a question of principle.”
    Movement growth: None
    Threat Level: 0
    Comment: Unbelievable
    Recommendation: Delete file

  8. I support the halibut, but only because Sarah Palin has a club for Halibuts and she ain’t afraid to use it! And when she uses it, Halibut is no longer!

    We use to get the no labels stuff in school every time we called a douche bag a douche bag or a homo a homo and got caught by a teacher. It was usually detention time (I spent many an afternoon there having been educated at The School of Hard Knocks and having what I thought was a very keen sense of humor)!

  9. Pass the sauce, FormerHostage, just for the halibut. Because it’s so bland, it needs it. Plus I need it.

    You’d think the slimy, bottom-dwelling halibut would be way more fishy-tasting, but it isn’t. I know this because I live on (the) saltwater.

  10. NoLabels: Sticking our finger in the political wind to say whatever we think will get us elected since 2010!

    NOLabels: Because principles are inconvenient.

    NoLabels: We;re here to protect the people, unless it gets hard or makes us look bad or means making tough decisions or disappointing anyone.

    NoLabels: We’ll always vote whichever way is popular at the moment, according to the NY Times and CNN.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.