Archive of entries posted on 9th December 2010

The DREAM Act

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So Democrats are trying to push through this DREAM Act which people are calling amnesty. Now, part of it I get. There’s a provision that the children of illegal aliens can get a path to citizenship by serving two years in the military. I could be argued to support that; they are here illegally through no fault of their own but still need to go above and beyond to get citizenship to be fair to those waiting outside the country trying to get in here legally.

But where they lose me is that people can also get a path to citizenship through going to college for two years. In what bizarro world is going to college equivalent to serving in the military? I know liberals like to think that because they’re sissies, but going to college here is a benefit of being a citizen, not a service to us. And we know we’re all going to end up paying part of that tuition somehow. Maybe instead, an illegal alien could pay for someone else’s college tuition if he really wants to serve.

Also, the idea is we want people staying here to be good citizens, and isn’t college the last place to start that? Liberals have made most college campuses nice little enclaves protected from reality so that the most dimwitted, anti-American left-wing ideas are allowed to survive. A number of the terrorists went to college here; it doesn’t really help on patriotism. You need to be a good citizen before you go to college to be able to resist the lunacy thrown at you.

Anyway, that reminds me of my compromise proposal: For every illegal immigrant we keep, we deport one white liberal. I think conservatives would eagerly sign on to that one.

In My World: Sarah Palin’s Alaska

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Transcript from Sarah Palin’s Alaska.

SARAH PALIN: “Hello! Welcome to Sarah Palin’s Alaska, the show where you get to see the beauty of Alaska while we brutalize all the wildlife in it.”

PIPER PALIN: “I found a bunny rabbit in our backyard. I punched it in the face.”

SARAH: “Isn’t she precious? I try to instill in my children the values I was taught such as not letting nature push you around.”

WILLOW PALIN: “Die fish! Die!”

SARAH: “Willow is demonstrating a common technique of repeatedly whacking a fish against a rock and then throwing its corpse back in the lake. This tells fish to stay out of our way. Of course, you don’t always do that by killing things. The other day I took my Glock and knee-capped a moose. When other moose see him lying there bleeding, they’ll know not to mess with the Palins. If only the lame-stream media were that smart.”

TODD PALIN: “The new piano is here.”

SARAH: “Oh. Good. We really needed a new piano because already cut all the wire out of the last one to make garrotes. Last one I used to strangle a grizzly bear; I’m the only mama grizzly in these parts. Anyway, let me show you the guest we have downstairs in the basement.”

AARON SORKIN: “You’re a crazy redneck! I hope you die!”

SARAH: “We don’t like this person, so we kidnapped, put him in our basement, and are now waterboarding him.”

SORKIN: “You crazy… gurgle…”

SARAH: “You may wonder if that’s legal, but remember we’re really far away. Like if this were a live show — which it isn’t — and you wanted to run to his rescue, it would take you hours by plane just to get here. Plus, we’re a very large state and you’ll never find me. So essentially I’m above the law.”

SORKIN: “I’ll tell you anything!”

SARAH: “I think I — and the American people — have made it pretty clear we don’t care to hear anything you liberals have to say.”

SORKIN: “Somebody help me!”

PIPER: “That man is funny. I’ll get more water.”

SARAH: “Well, tune in next week when we drive around in a jeep trying to knock the heads off a caribou with a baseball bat. That’s the way we do things in Alaska, and if any of you have a problem with, remember that no one in my family would bat an eye at killing you.”

Random Thoughts

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This Pigford stuff sounds suspicious. Also suspicious: Pighyundai.

If they raise taxes on the rich we all get t-shirts that say, “They raised taxes on the rich and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”

I’ve hated the rich and wanted them all to suffer ever since Scrooge McDuck refused to let me swim in his money pile.

Buttercup is still pretty bald. Do they sell baby-sized wigs?

Mythbusting Obama

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The president was on Mythbusters last night. Did you see it? I did. Not because Obama was on the show, but in spite of it. Not a fan of Obama. Am a fan of Mythbusters.

Anyway, he asked Adam and Jamie to retest a myth:


[Direct link]

Adam and Jamie tested the myth … for the third time … and, once again, busted it. But, you know, that myth was perfect for Obama:

  • It’s from Europe.
  • It had been tried before, more than once, and shown to fail.
  • It was paired with Hellboy.
  • It involved smoke and mirrors.

I wonder if there are any other myths that would make sense for Obama to want Adam and Jamie to test?