So Democrats are trying to push through this DREAM Act which people are calling amnesty. Now, part of it I get. There’s a provision that the children of illegal aliens can get a path to citizenship by serving two years in the military. I could be argued to support that; they are here illegally through no fault of their own but still need to go above and beyond to get citizenship to be fair to those waiting outside the country trying to get in here legally.
But where they lose me is that people can also get a path to citizenship through going to college for two years. In what bizarro world is going to college equivalent to serving in the military? I know liberals like to think that because they’re sissies, but going to college here is a benefit of being a citizen, not a service to us. And we know we’re all going to end up paying part of that tuition somehow. Maybe instead, an illegal alien could pay for someone else’s college tuition if he really wants to serve.
Also, the idea is we want people staying here to be good citizens, and isn’t college the last place to start that? Liberals have made most college campuses nice little enclaves protected from reality so that the most dimwitted, anti-American left-wing ideas are allowed to survive. A number of the terrorists went to college here; it doesn’t really help on patriotism. You need to be a good citizen before you go to college to be able to resist the lunacy thrown at you.
Anyway, that reminds me of my compromise proposal: For every illegal immigrant we keep, we deport one white liberal. I think conservatives would eagerly sign on to that one.
I think a simpler solution would be for American citizens to be encouraged to punch illegals in the face every time they see one. I’m guessing that the “illegal” problem would be fixed pretty quickly if everyone did their part. And, it’s fun for the whole family.
As I recall, one of my college applications involved filling out some information about myself and writing two essays.
Frank, that may sound like nothing when compared to the necessarily rigorous life of a common U.S. Army ground pounder, but you try to write a proper essay when the Democrats and their politics have left you with little knowledge of English and no clue as to how to become a decent American citizen.
Perhaps you’d even become angry when you found out that the Democrats wanted you to be that way. But you can’t speak English, so you probably wouldn’t be too angry.
From what I read, the illegals down Arizona way don’t need any training in the use of weapons.
Oh God, this brings up bad memories. Morgan Spurlock had a whole episode of his “30 Days” show on illegals. He picked a legal immigrant from Cuba who was a **volunteer guard** at the Mexican border and very anti-illegal and made him live for 30 days with a family of illegals. Just your TYPICAL family of illegals mind you – mother and father, both working hard at jobs “Americans don’t want to do” and collecting aluminum cans to cash in to support their five kids. Their daughter wasn’t born here (so she was illegal too) but she was this 4.0 grade average HS student with big dreams of going to college…but she can’t get in because she’s illegal, get it?
And when the guy didn’t show signs of thawing after half the time had gone by, he **broke the rules of his own reality show** (which is habit for him; most of Supersize Me has been debunked as lies) and sent the man down to Mexico by plane to visit with the family’s extremely poor relatives in Mexico. They were living in horrific conditions – in concrete boxes that have 3 walls and like a tin roof, crawling with bugs, scavenging for food (I don’t know how they got any – they were like in the middle of an empty field in these weird structures) and pining for just a taste of a better life. But naturally well-meaning honest people who would never harm a fly, you know? (Because there is no higher crime rate among illegals who come here; that’s a myth.)
And THAT finally broke the guy. He attended a protest with the family in which they picketed for their American rights – the right to college, the right to be citizens, the right to blah. He ended up not being fully convinced and reluctantly returning to his border guard duty, but richer for the experience, and somehow the girl is going to go to college and all will be well.
It was such blatant propaganda I can’t even stand it.
Uh, doesn’t the military ALREADY allow a path to citizenship if illegals serve?
I’d go for your deal Frank, but liberals don’t exist anymore. Silly you! They are progressives and such as to confuse us rubes out here in fly-over country. I know that when I vote it’s hard for me to determine…let’s see Progressive or Conservative? HMMMM…. It fools me every time, because I’m a rubester!
Now if we could deport a Progressive for every illegal we allow in, I’m in! But first we get to punch the illegal in the face for being an illegal! Thus teaching them about law and order in the US! And we get to punch the Progressive in the face as they are being deported! Brass knuckles will be required because there will be much face punchin!
Only one white liberal per illegal we let in? Not enough, I say at least 3 while liberals should be deported for every illegal. Illegals will do the jobs white liberals won’t do, like sweep their parent’s basement or take out their trash.
Make it worth our while…deport two Obama voters for every illegal made legal. More vrops get picked, less whining.
If we really wanted to end the Mexican invasion just end the d@mned give-aways. No workee, eatee. Imagine this nation if all of the freebees were just cut loose. The illegals would go home, the hippies wouild flee to Europe and Canada, and ther democrats would be picking up cans on the side of the road for lunch money. And the workers would keep the money they earned, too.
White liberals should be volunteering to trade places with illegals because of social justicey stuff & corporate culture and herpa derp and whatnot.
“For every illegal immigrant we keep, we deport one white liberal with the Mexicannon.“
FIFY
Extra points if it’s a Sarah Palin-built Mexicannon.
One more provision we should insist on. If we pity an illegal who was brought in as a child and has now been here most of their life, fine. IF we can agree the kids parents did know they were doing something illegal and thus put in a special exception saying any such child granted citizenship may never use his new citizenship to sponsor anyone who has ever been in the country illegally. So if Grandma has been in the old country the whole time that is still ok but Mom and Dad who crossed the river a decade back can’t also get rewarded for their crime.
I would be in if instead of punching illegals we get to harpoon them and use a marxists democrat as a backstop so we don’t scuff the walls.
Eric Praline, you are SO right! Obama has called for “sacrifice” where everyone has “skin in the game.” What better use of progressive skin than to sacrifice their own – and their family’s – future by trading places with illegals in Mexico. Really – our country would be WAY better off.
And for all illegal and legal female aliens from the Middle East, progressive women can swap for them, too, clothes and all. I’m sure we’ll hear back from them afterwards. President Sarah Palin: “Tough t!tties beotches!” (To borrow and expand Frank’s IMW theme.)
If we’re trying to figure out how many liberals and/oe hippies we deport for every illegal we keep, I think history provides an answer: The 3/5th compromise.
We keep three illegals and lose five pathetic libs!
Some Democrat just said F Obama in a meeting. Maybe they are getting ready to leave for France and Canada after all! That would be awesome!!!
Someone said “Alien”. Vasquez thought they said “Illegal Alien” and signed up!
Hold on, that is racist. It should be for every illegal we keep, we deport one liberal. Why should Nancy Pelosi have to leave, but Michele Obama get to stay? We need to judge people by the stupidity of their ideas, not the color of their skin.
So you’re good on having illegals made legal, in front of the thousands waiting legally in line, based on whether or not they join the military or go to college ? Nice way to communicate that you hold no more principles than the average congressman. Pitiful.
Other two-word phrases you shouldn’t say to Precedent Obama:
“midterm elections”
“Republican House”
“they won”
“latest polls”
“failing presidency”
“get primary’d”
Things are so bad that it was announced that he’s having a meeting with Bill Clinton to figure out how to “triangulate.” Like that’s gonna help much this time, Bill.
Um…I’m confused. If you dislike the dream act why do I keep seeing a banner supporting a pro dream act petition at the top of the page?
I’m just saying
Bob, Bob, Bob…
With time, you might just figure out this is a “humor site.” It takes several years of diligent reading to figure it out – along with the principles of it’s various principals. Good luck. Oh, and dude.
I say we back to your old idea, or somebodies old idea, that instead of a single border fence, we build three border fences, with meat eating dinosaurs between the first two, and the third, well because there is a fence holding back meat eating dinosaurs on the other side. Anyone who sneaks across the border then obviously has the kind of brass bearings that we need in this country, and they can stay. I just don’t remember if in that sensible border plan, on rather the dinosaurs were armed with anything or not.
@ Bob K,
What the heck are you talking about? Perhaps you should read Frank’s remark again. “I could be argued to support that…”
He certainly sounds as though as he’s fully behind that idea, doesn’t he?
@ dude,
Frank lets Google ads take care of what you see on the banners. See, Frank likes money. And, as a matter of fact, Harvey once told us to click on those ads because that costs the liberals behind the ads money.
After again reading Frank’s post and your post, Bob K, I come to the conclusion that I actually underestimated the poor comprehension you displayed.
“For every illegal immigrant we keep, we deport one white liberal”
Where’s the gain in that ? We swap one english speaking (more or less) liberal for one spanish speaking progressive in training .
Isn’t the minimum commitment when enlisting in the US military eight years now? And does the Army etc. have to take the illegals in question regardless of current standards?
Considering liberals are the primary supporters of the Dream act, and of anything involving amnesty, it makes sense that they’d want college to be part of the path to citizenship -to ensure sure they’re all good America-hating socialists.
If anything, you should be wondering how the military provision got in there.
Since the folks they’re talking about are felons how about they spend 10 yrs in jail, where they will be put on chain gangs doing those jobs Americans won’t do. Then when they come out they can be permanently barred from working anywhere but fast food and Walmart, and ineligible to vote. Or they could just go back to their own countries and make life better there.
It would be expensive but after the first couple of people are convicted I think the rest will get the idea.
MarkoMancuso.
Guess I need to explain my two sentences to you.
Frank says he could see supporting illegal immigrants staying in the country if they join the military. That’s in the first paragraph, I’ll wait for you to reread it for comprehension….
Next, Frank implies in paragraphs 2 and 3 that he is absolutely against illegal immigrants staying if they go to college instead. With me so far ? Go ahead, reread it if you need to.
Now, the tricky part. Reread my original post, and notice how I kind of combined these two things into one statement ? It’s the first sentence, BTW. So far, In my original post, I’ve captured the gist of Frank’s statements.
The last sentence of my original post is where I make my own comment. Not Franks. I thought this would be obvious to most readers, but I personally believe that illegal means illegal. If you keep that in mind, than it follows that I do not believe letting illegals stay in the country ahead of those immigrating legally is a good idea under any circumstances. Also, letting illegals stay is a goal of many congressman and senators (DREAM act). So that explains my last sentence of my original post.
Take your time and reread as necessary. I’m sure you will eventually get there.
Thanks.
I think we could get liberals to support border enforcement if we tell them we’ll just build a “virtual fence” instead of a real fence. What we don’t tell them is that the virtual fence is a just a big mine filed. Mostly anti-personnel mines, but a few anti-tank mines as well.
I think that’d really cut down on illegal immigration.
@MarkoMancuso
gotcha. I am no longer confused. I will happily waste libs money now.
I can understand the military service to a degree. But aren’t there people who, I don’t know, get specialized permits of some kind just so they can come to college in this country? Wonder how they feel about that: “Oh, I came to this country legally but have to leave when I finish college. You snuck in against the law but get to stay for doing what I went through a great deal of trouble to do. Seems fair.” Seriously, why even have student visas if you’re gonna do that?