Reporter: “Mr. President, I understand you have a new Iran policy.”
Obama: “That is correct. This time I ran to the golf course instead of using a limo.”
Tuesday: Fundraiser at Bonko Babbu’s Execution Statium, Mashhad (Fifty dollar admission, may end up half full)
Tuesday: Public apology for thinking offical language was Arabic. (15 million per large defense package)
Wednesday: Prayer breakfast at International House of Falafels, Karaj (300 per plate)
Wednesday: Golf, Tears of Ishtar Country Club, undisclosed location (seventy-five dollars/watch from 200 yards)
Thursday: Meet with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and associates, Tehran (1500 per grovel)
Thursday: Learn the word “Iran” is derived from “land of Aryans”
Thursday: Depart
Friday: Accuse Republicans of not being serious about Iran.
…try to show them we’re not so bad by instituting Sharia Law in the U.S
…show them how much he and Iran have in common by paying women less for the same work
…doing his hair all spiky and singing “and Iran, Iran so far away….”
…hoping everyone will be too distracted with navigating the welfare and foodstamp paperwork to pay attention to what’s going on “over there”.
…he started counting Iranian-funded terrorists and suicide bombers as job he’s created…numbers are through the freakin roof!!!
…he’s now including Iran’s “peaceful” development and accumulation of weapons-grade uranium and plutonium in his as a success of his energy program.
…he’s just going to let North Korea, Russia, and China “take care of it”. Also he’s now referring to those countries “the axis of really nice countries full of kittens and puppies and lollipops”
…if he can only manage to continue to do nothing about it and distract the American people until the election, they might have enough time to nuke Israel – then it wouldn’t be a campaign issue AND solve the whole “Jew problem” at the same time! He might even get another Nobel Peace Prize for bringing peace to the Middle East!
…because the previous strategy of bowing didn’t work. So this time he’s doing it backwards. Naked. Pulling his cheeks apart. While Biden offers KY Jelly.
…rather than spending hours trying to get Joe’s hair just right, just have him wear a wig. -Biden’s tribute to A Flock of Seagulls is going to be a big hit at the convention!
Retroactive capitulation, dating back to the first Crusades, with humble apologies for every infidel action from A.D. 1071 on, including using “A.D.” in conjunction with describing historical dates according to the infidel calendar.
trick question – it implies that there was an “old” strategy, and ignoring something is no more a “strategy” than calling the sum total of all your expenditures a “budget”.
Entertaining Ahmedinijad with show tunes via Joe Biden dressed up as a showgirl. Biden wasn’t keen on it at first, but once he found out he gets to wear a Carmen Miranda outfit he was so excited he peed a little.
…unfortunately, it’s exactly the same as his previous new policy, which itself was no different to the new policy he advocated during the ’08 campaign.
…Obama decided that this time he’s really going to find Iran on a map, and try to figure out what exactly is the problem…probably. Almost certainly. I mean…you know…more likely than not. At the very least he’s going to ask someone to look into it….probably.
ooh! Kittens.
wait,,,what?
hey! who opened the door and let all the choom out??
In exchange for a solemn pinkies promise to not build more bombs, offer to give them the States that vote red in the November election as additions to the new United States of Iran. (Unfortunately that would only leave two or three states remaining in the USA.)
Obama has a new Iran strategy; “Ignore it and let Romney deal with it”. This is vastly differeent than his current strategy of; “Let Romney deal with it and ignore it”.
…place hands at side and bow.
……..squeal like a girl run home to Michele.
You can get a sneak peak by looking at the Book of Revelations.
Blame Bush . . . oh wait, you said new.
accept their campaign contributions.
Bow at 90 degrees instead of 45.
if they will agree to stop enriching uranium, obama will give them all the completed nuclear bombs they want, keeping the jobs in america!
Hand out vouchers.
place head firmly between legs and kiss butt goodbye.
…stick fingers in ears, close eyes, and chant “la, la, la, la….”
…promise them good, affordable healthcare.
Let THEM take care of Israel.
…trade Biden and Clinton for a first round pick and a defensive line man to be named later.
…at least that’s what Valerie Jarrett told him.
…And there’s no injunction against choom in the Koran!
…the honeybadgers of politics!
Doh! Posted in the wrong thread!
Look at nuke program and say “You didn’t build that.”
…that does not work because Mahmoud Amakindnutjob sadly does not like golf.
Reporter: “Mr. President, I understand you have a new Iran policy.”
Obama: “That is correct. This time I ran to the golf course instead of using a limo.”
Obama has a new Iran strategy… well he will as soon as the Saudi’s can be bothered to drop it in the mail.
Obama has a new Iran strategy… Beer summit!!
…he told Michelle that Iran was full of fat kids.
…surrender!
Give them a giant box of New! Obama O’s Cereal. Enriched with vitamins and herb. And plutonium.
Have global warming scientists! prove that mushroom clouds are caused by mushrooms. And global warming.
Rose Garden Hookah Summit. Define hookah to Secret Service.
but he can’t defect there and implement it until after he loses the election.
Obama has a new Iran strategy… But Biden thinks it is full of Shi’ite.,
Obama has a new Iran strategy: Making it the 58th state.
return to the Carter era policy and give Iran back the hostages.
a jihad on you and a jihad on you and a jihad on you.
if Iran doesn’t give in to our demands, threaten to send Nancy, Hillary and Janet for a dipolmatic summit sans-burkas.
finally confiding in Achmedineajad that Barak is the hidden imam.
hold hands with Achmedinejad and simg Cumbaya.
…blame Bush.
send Achmedinejad the new set of Ginsu knives. They can saw through a nail and still behead an infidel like they were brand new.
…formulated when Mahmoud said, “Let’s play prison. I’ll be Bubba and we’ll call you ‘New Fish.'”
Obama has a new Iran Strategy: Place Michelle on the eastern border and a tamale on the western border.
. . . just kidding! He just makes this stuff up.
Tuesday: Fundraiser at Bonko Babbu’s Execution Statium, Mashhad (Fifty dollar admission, may end up half full)
Tuesday: Public apology for thinking offical language was Arabic. (15 million per large defense package)
Wednesday: Prayer breakfast at International House of Falafels, Karaj (300 per plate)
Wednesday: Golf, Tears of Ishtar Country Club, undisclosed location (seventy-five dollars/watch from 200 yards)
Thursday: Meet with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and associates, Tehran (1500 per grovel)
Thursday: Learn the word “Iran” is derived from “land of Aryans”
Thursday: Depart
Friday: Accuse Republicans of not being serious about Iran.
…try to show them we’re not so bad by instituting Sharia Law in the U.S
…show them how much he and Iran have in common by paying women less for the same work
…doing his hair all spiky and singing “and Iran, Iran so far away….”
…hoping everyone will be too distracted with navigating the welfare and foodstamp paperwork to pay attention to what’s going on “over there”.
…he started counting Iranian-funded terrorists and suicide bombers as job he’s created…numbers are through the freakin roof!!!
…he’s now including Iran’s “peaceful” development and accumulation of weapons-grade uranium and plutonium in his as a success of his energy program.
…he’s just going to let North Korea, Russia, and China “take care of it”. Also he’s now referring to those countries “the axis of really nice countries full of kittens and puppies and lollipops”
…telling Iran that when he said he supports the gay lifestyle, he didn’t mean “gay” gay, he meant “getting ready for martyrdom” gay.
…if he can only manage to continue to do nothing about it and distract the American people until the election, they might have enough time to nuke Israel – then it wouldn’t be a campaign issue AND solve the whole “Jew problem” at the same time! He might even get another Nobel Peace Prize for bringing peace to the Middle East!
Leak the news that Israel call the Straight of Hormuz gay.
Loan them his goat in every garage and a dog in every pot campaign promise.
…try to find common ground with the Iranians by telling them Sarah Jessica Parker is 1/32 Arabian.
proposing that America be allowed to fill the current vacancy in the axis of evil.
…because the previous strategy of bowing didn’t work. So this time he’s doing it backwards. Naked. Pulling his cheeks apart. While Biden offers KY Jelly.
…rather than spending hours trying to get Joe’s hair just right, just have him wear a wig. -Biden’s tribute to A Flock of Seagulls is going to be a big hit at the convention!
…he will now begin pronouncing the name of their country with a foreign accent, as he does with Pakistan.
Retroactive capitulation, dating back to the first Crusades, with humble apologies for every infidel action from A.D. 1071 on, including using “A.D.” in conjunction with describing historical dates according to the infidel calendar.
…they’ve agreed to stop making fun of his ears if he stops plagiarizing Mahmoud’s speeches about America.
trick question – it implies that there was an “old” strategy, and ignoring something is no more a “strategy” than calling the sum total of all your expenditures a “budget”.
…he’s going to pray to whatever god he believes in for more earthquakes
If they want 32oz of uranium, they’re going to have to buy two cups
Entertaining Ahmedinijad with show tunes via Joe Biden dressed up as a showgirl. Biden wasn’t keen on it at first, but once he found out he gets to wear a Carmen Miranda outfit he was so excited he peed a little.
…unfortunately, it’s exactly the same as his previous new policy, which itself was no different to the new policy he advocated during the ’08 campaign.
…Obama decided that this time he’s really going to find Iran on a map, and try to figure out what exactly is the problem…probably. Almost certainly. I mean…you know…more likely than not. At the very least he’s going to ask someone to look into it….probably.
ooh! Kittens.
wait,,,what?
hey! who opened the door and let all the choom out??
anyone got some Doritos?
In exchange for a solemn pinkies promise to not build more bombs, offer to give them the States that vote red in the November election as additions to the new United States of Iran. (Unfortunately that would only leave two or three states remaining in the USA.)
Let the wookie win
…and since he announced it, Ahmadinejad has not stopped laughing.
(This isn’t an entry so much as it is the literal truth.)
it’s called, “I ran.”
… get ol’ Ahmed a new “Members Only” jacket! (Jacket pocket has ipod loaded with Obama speeches to boot!)
Obama has a new Iran strategy; “Ignore it and let Romney deal with it”. This is vastly differeent than his current strategy of; “Let Romney deal with it and ignore it”.
Get the Department of Agriculture to promote tax-payer funded falafel stamps.
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