Oh no. My Klout score has dropped. Fortunately, my Blerf and Glunk ratings are ticking upward and my Bleen-Plable index is holding steady.
— John Moe (@johnmoe) August 6, 2012
Note to reporters: writing “semiautomatic handgun” makes gun owners roll their eyes.
— Political Math (@politicalmath) August 6, 2012
We should all give Earth a one star rating on TripAdvisor so hostile aliens won’t want to come here.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) August 6, 2012
Don’t judge me just because I’m naked, bawling, and covered in slime and blood. I was born this way.
— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) August 6, 2012
John Moe needs forget his Klout score and, instead, correlate his Farfignügen with his running average Blabowitz index. It’s the only way to tell if his Klein-Schnausbürger is in the toilet or not.