Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
If you buy a $500,000 meeting with Obama, it includes…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
If you buy a $500,000 meeting with Obama, it includes…
…this lovely tote bag.
…dinner with the First Lady. And for an addtional $500,000, dinner without the First Lady.
…. a Multi-Million dollar payoff if/when the Obammunist revolution is a success
…a personalized threat from a senior White House official.
Your choice of : two tickets to the Gong Show or a new bong.
…a promise that he will never tout your company’s success. (This was what the Piranha Brothers called the Other Other Other Operation.)
A gun safety demonstration by Joe Biden on the back porch.
A hug from Joe BIden, a look around the inside of Obama’s bucket, and an obamacare waiver.
…an opportunity to see if his ears act as locking tabs inside the bucket you brought.
…an autographed glossy 8×10 of the TOTUS. (“O’s & X’s, Lexie”)
…a night in the Lincoln Bedroom. Garlic and crosses not included.
A first person account of how he bagged his first skeet.
…condescension, arrogance and pomposity at no extra charge.
The extra straps that make it easier to caddy his golf bag.
… a half and half
… a request for more money
… endorsement for any movie of your choice for an Academy Award
…and extra $100,000 service tax added on to the $500,000
…a free pass that let’s you win against the Wookie one time.
A key to the Choom room.
… permission to post your business’s advertisement on Michelle’s butt for one week.
… a free TSA grope and a 4 course meal that doesn’t require the use of a knife or fork
… an opportunity to prostrate to the Messiah in person
… a complimentary tour of the underside of Obama’s bus
…a catered lunch featuring your choice of breed for the entrée.
… an opportunity to demonstrate how else you might be useful to the administration
@ rodney dill February 28th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
Don’t they have laws against billboards that size?
You get to the walk to the head of the bread line.
…an arugula salad, with or without the arugula, and the one without arugula has arugula in it.
…a free doggy bag.
@Apostic, nyuk, nyuk, I was trying to work the size issue into the punchline, ended up just figuring most people would get it anyway.
…a follow up meeting with Donna Brazile, where you can explain to her why her healthcare premium went up.
…a free drone ride.
…a free ride on the Obama bus, plus you get to throw two people under it for free.
…entertainment provided by Joe the dancing shotgun bear.
…a partnership with the Muslim Bruthahood
….a viewing of Hubris 2 with Rachel Madcow
…a shake weight workout with Reggie Love and a shotgun autographed by Joe Biden.
You get a lap dance from Muchelle!
…a ticket to hell and a handbasket so you can get a head start on the rest of Amerika.
…an all-you-can-eat dog buffet.
…lunch consisting of the most tender cuts of doberman. For $1,000,000, you get collie tar tar.
an Obamacare waiver, a whole deck of race cards, a SlapChop plus the pocket-sized mini-Obama.
But wait, there’s more!
Call within the next five minutes and we’ll double your order!
That’s right. Just pay shipping and handling totaling an additional $50,000 and receive TWO of everything you see here. Offer void where prohibited. NY, IL and DC residents add 10% sales tax.
…a lunch of roasted wild skeets.
having your car detailed by Joe Biden.
Bring your wife and she can get free fashion tips from MissHell
…throw in an extra $50,000 and you get lunch with an R.O.U.S.* in New Jersey
*(Republican Of Unusual Size)
…a night of Dancing With The Czars
…all you can eat… but only 1 sixteen ounce drink to wash it down.
….about 5 minutes of his time if you are white OR a party in Las Vegas, complete with Crystal champagne fountain while an American embassy is burning, if you are a Black celebrity couple.
…a former staff member for you to throw under a bus.
…WAFFLES!
…does it matter since his supporters would swallow anything from him?
…a year’s supply of Rice a’ Roni!
…an iPod already loaded with his speeches.
…a lap dance from Joey. (Good luck getting that picture out of your head!)
face time with the half-mill-atto.
…a photo of you and Obama and excludes anything of value affecting the rest of the country.
…a half billion in loans that the taxpayers will pay off after you bilk the business it creates for about a half billion.
…500 K worth of racial guilt easement that lasts until you listen to his next speech.
For A Fistful of Dollars – or – For A Few Dollars More (your choice) – a DVD animation of Clint Eastwood getting his head blown clean off by a .44 Magnum while standing next to an empty chair.
…Alec Baldwin using a racial slur you get the blame for because $500,000 means you are not liberal enough and have to be punished.
…a nice red carpet put down for you to crawl on.
…a face to sneer meeting with a dictatorial egotist and hey, what more do you expect to get for a piddly half mil?
…a seat close enough to Biden’s high chair to watch him dump a bowl of cereal on his head.
…fun ride on one of Michelle’s hips!
…a $500 Million dollar govt back loan for the future bankrupt company of your choice.
…a $500,000 bill for services rendered: Obama gracing you with his presence *barf*
(Hi gang! *waves to my fellow patriots*)
Where you been, Nunya bidness?
. . . a quart of cheap gin and a date with Susan Fluke.
. . . a vegetarian dinner where he introduces you to his master Nyarlathotep.
… An Obamacare exemption.
A Place Card, with your name on it.
…a peanut butter sandwich and a cup of Koolaid.
A pin so you can sign the check in blood…
Absolutely nothing, according to Jay Carney. He may be more correct than he thinks.
A free copy of “How To Run A Successful Business” by the Postmaster General. Just pay postage and handling. Please!
A cabinet position, apparently. You can even Hagel over the price.
A case of the warm fuzzies (leftover poodles from dinner).
Membership in his new party, the Smug-Satis Faction.
A $1,000,000,000,000 coin. Of course, upon closer inspection it is stamped “Novelty Only”.
…a peek inside the Book of Secrets for Obama’s schnauzer schnitzel recipe.
…running one play with the Atomic Football.
A private flight to the Dominican Republic and your choice from five underaged hookers.
Oops. That was the $500,000 dinner with Senator Menendez.
$50 dollars worth of JollyTime Popcorn and whatever is in the Box that Carol is point to.
An “I’m with stupid” t-shirt.
…15 minutes to control of the drone of your choice.
… two 30 minute shotgun shooting lessons from Joe Biden and a free skeet-shooting trip to Camp David.
… an Obamacare waiver.
… the phone number of a really great Secret Service-preferred brothel.
…a stern warning not to stare at Obama’s ears.
…your big chance to show off your groveling skills and a severe beat-down if you slobber on The 0nes shoes.
. . . Green Stamps, because their manufacture aids his newest Green Jobs Agenda.