President Thin-Skin

Charles Krauthammer said that Fox News “ought to be proud of the fact that we annoy Obama”.

Nah. That’d be like being proud of wrestling a lollipop from a toddler.

The Mainstream Media Explained

[High Praise! to Laughing Conservative]

We Must Put More Guns in the Hands of Criminals

[High Praise! to The Real Revo]

If you have a gun, you are twice as likely to be murdered and seven times as likely to die in a gun accident. Wow. That’s pretty deadly, isn’t it? I mean, we are always hearing numbers regarding how much more likely it is that you will be a victim of your gun rather than a beneficiary of its self defense value.

This is why I am advocating giving criminals guns. If we arm criminals, they will all be dead due to murder, suicide and accidents in no time. In fact, they will be dead much faster than if they don’t have guns. You know it’s true. A 2001 Self Magazine analysis indicates it.

So let’s get busy arming the bad guys for a safer world.

Link of the Day: Satire – For Safety, Ban EVERYTHING That’s “Military Style”

[High Praise! to The Truth About Guns]

While We’re Getting Rid of All Those “Military Style” Rifles…

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Blue Karate 80s Circus Gulps

Does Obama Know How to Shoot?

[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]

Ironically, Fried in Pure Vegetable Oil

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

How to Get More Minority Candidates for the GOP

So Marco Rubio is going to give the response to the SOTU (in English and Spanish), and there is even a Time cover proclaiming him the Republican savior. Of course, the GOP does need to make more inroads with minorities if it’s to survive (and we need to get more of the country away from the “Yay! Government!” mentality if the country is to survive), and having prominent minority candidates out there should help with that. I don’t like pandering, but sometimes it seems like the easiest thing would be for the GOP to just put out an ad like this:

Are you a racial minority who doesn’t like taxes and government intrusion? Do you want to earn $174,000 voting yes and no on stuff?

Boom. We’d have tons of candidate to pick from. With unemployment so high for blacks under Obama, it would be nice for them to know the GOP is hiring.

Straight Line of the Day: While Visiting France, Joe Biden…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

While visiting France, Joe Biden…

Obama Needs to Cancel the SOTU Before He Inspires Further Violence with His Rhetoric

We were all wondering if anyone out there takes Piers Morgan seriously, and unfortunately we got an answer.

So that’s two violent left-wingers in the news recently when we also had the one shooter say he used the SPLC website to find “hate groups” to target. Now, there is a huge media freakout when the left thinks they can even tangentially connect a shooter with anyone on the right (which ends up, like it did with Loughner, being bunk), but they’re very quiet when you have these blatant left-wingers killing people. Because for them, it’s an absolute fact that right-wing rhetoric is evil and causes violence. They’re just waiting and hoping to one day — ONE DAY — finally get actual evidence of that. But nothing will ever stop them from believing it. On the other hand, no matter how many left-wingers turn violent, that’s always just an aberration to be ignored.

But hey, we should follow their example. After shootings that had nothing to do with the right, we on the right were urged to tone down our rhetoric before we inspire others. Well, now we have violence we know was inspired by left-wing rhetoric, so obviously the proper course of action is for Obama to cancel his State of the Union address before his irresponsible rhetoric causes more people like Chris Dorner to kill. He says he cares about gun violence, so here is one thing he can do to help stop it: Shut up before his careless left-wing words inspire more death. Look into your heart, Obama, and put national safety before your politics. Shut up.

Random Thoughts: Piers Morgan, Chris Rock, and Community

We’re not going to pay attention to the obesity epidemic until it affects more movie stars and super models.

Since theoretically right-wing rhetoric is supposed to inspire violence, no one pays attention when left-wing rhetoric does in practice.

I think everyone can agree that fans of Piers Morgan should not have access to firearms.

With left-wing speech inspiring so much violence, Obama should do the responsible thing and cancel his State of the Union address.

I’m a bit uncomfortable joking about a killer still on the loose, but… Piers Morgan.

I wonder how different history would be if Hitler didn’t have a distinctive mustache.

BREAKING: Obama has adopted Chris Rock. Will not let him play football.

I called the new Community starting with some sort of laugh track fake out to get people to freak out.

Well, I didn’t actually call it in a way I could prove I did.

So why in the world did NBC get rid of Dan Harmon if they weren’t planning a huge change to Community?

Foiled again

There’s an asteroid heading towards Earth. It’s named 2012 DA14 — it was named after its great-grandfather, I assume — and discovered by Spanish astronomers about a year ago.

Oh, it’s not going to hit the Earth. It’ll come within 17,000 miles of the planet, but that’s as close as it will get … this time.

Those of you who were hoping for a killer asteroid to destroy the planet would’ve been disappointed anyway. Had it hit Earth, it would have created a blast roughly equal to the Tunguska event. Hardly a planet killer.

So, if you want to witness to destruction of civilization as we know it, you’ll have to settle for watching Obama on the news.

 

 

Students Forced to Design Communist Flag

A lesson plan for 6th graders in government schools reads as follows:

Notice socialist/communist nations use symbolism on their flags representing various aspects of their economic system. Imagine a new socialist nation is creating a flag and you have been put in charge of creating a flag. Use symbolism to represent aspects of socialism/communism on your flag. What kind of symbolism/colors would you use?

My answers: