About Time Someone Answered This Question Truthfully

Someday Buttercup will ask Frank where babies come from.

This is how Frank will answer:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,942,637)

Obama’s Skeet Dream

[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]

Soap: For Real Men

Other scents include:

* Baseball glove

* Bonfire

* Cash

* Urinal mint

and many more.

Not yet available:

* Glenlivet 21

Poverty: Solved!

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Then work smarter by arranging lawn-mowing jobs for other kids for a fee.

Link of the Day: Satire – Obama’s Barry Good Skeet Shooting

[High Praise! to Innominatus]

Barry good skeet shooter

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Wisdom of the Day: Bacon Relationship Naked Pilaf Drone

Right Before the Google CEO Visited North Korea…

[High Praise! to The Real Revo]

Putting Two and Two Together

Carolyn the Mommy [High Praise!] emailed me this observation:

1) Obama says it’s ok to use drone strikes to kill Americans who are considered terrorists.

2) Given the opportunity to say that the Tea Party is not a terrorist organization, Obama did not do so.

Watch the skies and keep your powder dry.

Too Many Polar Bears

So global warming is killing off the polar bears, melting all the ice they like to stand on and look all majestic, right?

Not so much.

All the efforts to save the polar bears over the last forty years has caused the population to explode. Now there are areas in Canada basically overrun with them. Kids on Halloween can’t wear ghost costumes because there are guys with guns roaming around shooting any large white things.

So thanks, environmentalists, you saved THE GIANT KILLING MACHINES!

Straight Line of the Day: The Real Cause of the Blackout During the Super Bowl…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The real cause of the blackout during the Super Bowl…

Obama Makes No Promises Not to Kill Us

So the Obama White House has released a memo saying they can kill anyone they want with drones — even American citizens — without due process. And we don’t have to worry about this being abused because Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize for… existing or something. Still, if you don’t want to be blown up by a drone, I think you can fill out a form to the Justice Department or something and they’ll decide whether or not to put you on a kill list.

Furthermore, the Obama White House said that drone strikes are “legal,” “ethical,” and “wise.” They forgot to add “fun.”

So, should we be worried? So far Obama has only used his drone powers to kill really terroristy people; it’s not like he’s going to target us — not that, according to him, legally anything could stop him if he did. The crazy thing though is that the left went absolutely apoplectic about waterboarding — I remember once Jon Stewart acting like us pouring water on Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is going to be viewed by future generation as something as bad as slavery — and yet they seem rather muted over the whole “blow people up — including Americans — without due process” thing. And the thing is, while waterboarding had given us actionable intelligence, I don’t think blowing people up ever has.

Anyway, just further evidence that when the left act really outraged about something, ignore them because they’re just being silly and partisan. Maybe one day we’ll find something where the left will be equally outraged regardless of the political parties involved, but we already know that won’t be about racism, rape, or murder. And certainly not how we treat known terrorists.

Random Thoughts: Drones, Waterboarding, and the Simpsons

Just a warning: When I get a “new followers” email from Twitter, I go through and judge everyone based on their followers count.

Stop freaking out, people. It’s not like Obama is going to target you with a drone strike… not that anything could stop him if he did.

#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I found out the whole “freedom” thing also involves “responsibility.” Ew.

So the left was apoplectic about pouring water on known terrorists, but the targeted killing Americans without due process…

How do I become one of those highly-paid lobbyists everyone complains about?

Compromise to make everyone happy: Have drones waterboard terrorists.

All of you liberals cheering Obama’s drone powers know that the next Republicans president is going to target you first.

When the Simpsons first premiered, I was Bart Simpson’s age. Now I’m much closer to Homer Simpson’s age.

Boob job

Image: GlobalPost

Word is that in North Korea, smaller is better. At least when it comes to breasts.

Seems that in the DPRK, large-breasted women are an object of shame. Or something. It’s kinda hard to figure out. Here’s how Google translates it:

One trillion sukhyang Mr. other North Korean women, “In the North, large breasts tightly tucked around. Big Tits in the North was a shame Korea is the belle of the conditions in the sludge was amazing, “he said.

Okay, that’s kinda hard to figure out. Here’s the same passage of the article, as translated by Bing:

Another hostage takers turned to North Korea’s “premature, the chest is freakin’ skimming. Big boobs in North Korea was a shameful condition of La Belle in Korea was fabulous, “he said.

You see why it’s so hard to figure out.

Anyway, I think this phenomenon needs further study.

Volunteers?

The Skeet Shooting Is Just a Distraction From Obama’s Fly Problem

[High Praise! to Sondrakistan]