Archive of entries posted on 12th February 2013

Car Laws vs. Gun Laws

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[High Praise! to The Truth About Guns]

Here’s the first 10:

1- The private sale of a vehicle does not have to be reported to the state
2- A motor vehicle sale does not require a criminal background check
3- There is no limit to the capacity of horsepower a vehicle may have
4- A person can legally own a vehicle at any age
5- A vehicle can be operated in public as early as 16
6- There is no waiting period to buy a car
7- You can buy as many cars you want in a month
8- Students are allowed to bring their cars to school
9- There are no “car free zones”
10- Politicians do not create laws that ban the legal ownership of specific models of cars

Click here for the other 30.

And yes, on number 9, I’ll argue that there are plenty of places cars aren’t allowed to drive (like some national parks). Of course, if you go to one of these places, you could easily become stranded and die a horrible death, so car-free zones work about as well as gun-free zones.

Freedom 1, Nanny State 0

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[High Praise! to The Real Revo]

[reference link]

People in New York Refusing to Give Up Assault Weapons

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[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Your going to have to pry it from my cold… VERY cold… dead hands.

Link of the Day: Obama Signs Executive Order Moving Center to the Left

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[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]

Obama Signs Executive Order Moving Center to the Left

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Drones Hagel Books Pimpin Cop Wikipedia

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You’ve Been Judged!

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Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The first tweet on Al Qaeda’s new Twitter account…”

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Bacon Beer!

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[High Praise! to Les of Brick Moon]

“Look into the heart of darkness of this pitch black beauty. Take in the sweet caramel and roasted malty notes on the nose with a suggestion of the bacon goodness within. This full-bodied, rich and creamy oatmeal stout trots out a bold, unbridled taste that comes from a unique infusion of local Ottawa Valley heritage-raised ‘Pork of Yore’ fine bacon.”

Over 13kg of bacon was used for every 780 litre batch brewed — and was fried up personally by the owners of the brewery.

Unfortunately, only available in the Ottawa area.

In America, try Rogue’s Bacon Maple Ale, which can actually be shipped to you (except for Utah, Massachusetts, Texas and North Dakota).

Wait…

Texas has a law against mail-order beer?

What the…?

Sometimes I Don’t Trust My Brain

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I’ve always been fascinated by the part of the brain responsible for handling my vocabulary. In real time, it translate my thoughts into English words. It seems like a very complex task, and it does it well even if sometimes I’m not quite sure it exactly knows what it’s doing.

FRANK: “Because, really, do we want to be…”

BRAIN: “Obsequious.”

FRANK: “…obsequious to government? And– Wait a second; what was that? Obsequious? Is that even a word?”

BRAIN: “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is.”

FRANK: “Pretty sure? Well, what’s it mean?”

BRAIN: “I dunno. Google it.”

FRANK: “Why are you giving words to me if you don’t even know what they mean?”

BRAIN: “I’m like sure I’ve seen it used in that context.”

FRANK: “How sure can you be if you don’t even know what it means?”

BRAIN: “I’m like 80% sure we’re using it right, dude.”

FRANK: “Well… can you give me a simpler word to use in its place?”

BRAIN: “Um… nope. Sorry. Blanking.”

FRANK: “Somehow I’ve gone my whole life without using the word ‘obsequious,’ but now you’re telling me that’s the only option for this sentence?”

BRAIN: “Talking is hard. Want to daydream about video games now?”

FRANK: “Yes. Yes I do.”

And I’m pretty sure this is the same part of the brain that tells me what there/their/they’re or your/you’re to use while I’m typing. I consciously know when to correctly use those homonyms, but when typing fast I don’t have time to consciously sort them out and I need to delegate that task to the automated parts of my brain. And their just horrible at it. I think I need an upgrade.

God Made a Liberal

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[High Praise! to EdthePastor and The Morlock Revolt]


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #363,594)

A parody of the “God Made a Farmer” Super Bowl commercial.

State of the Union Tonight

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I’m crossing my fingers that Obama is going to be inspired by the pope, but instead of resigning for reasons of health, it will be for reasons of stupidity and uselessness.

It’s expected that Obama will announce a bunch of stuff he intends to try and do, and that will be the problem because he’s an idiot and everything he does just makes the country and our economy worse. If he ever actually learns, then he’ll stop trying to do anything and just get out of everyone’s way. I really hope people learn from his presidency and in the future have presidents we never ever see or hear from because they’re doing their thing and we’re doing ours (I describe exactly how a president should be in How to Fix Everything in America Forever if you haven’t read that yet).

Of course, Obama’s excuse for being a failure during his campaign was that the Republicans blocked him, and those same Republicans are still here and it seems very unlikely they’ll lose their majority in 2014, so if Obama were honest, all he’d pledge to do tonight is whine about Republicans for four more years. That’s a promise he’ll actually keep.

Straight Line of the Day: After the Pope’s Resignation…

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Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

After the Pope’s resignation…

Bipartisanship Will Ruin Our Country

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I have a new PJ Media column on how the only thing saving us is that the two parties don’t get along.

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine Republicans and Democrats getting along. They’d smile and laugh at each other’s jokes and pat each other on the back, and maybe John Boehner would make out with Nancy Pelosi… and then both parties would disappear into a back room to decide how to spend our money and what new government powers they should have. What a nightmare! We’d be completely defenseless.

Read! Enjoy!

Random Thoughts: Pope, Taxes, and Bicycles

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They need a new pope? How much does that pay?

I want to be the first to nominate Mr. T as the new pope. The man does know compassion. Hence his pitying of fools.

How about two popes: one black and one white and at first they don’t get along but eventually they learn to work together to get the job done.

We all like to laugh at Joe Biden, but in reality, Dick Cheney is still vice president, right? I assume he’s the one controlling the drones.

The Dems “balanced approach” to the deficit is to say the phrase “balanced approach” a lot while asking for more tax hikes.

Hey, bicyclists, is there anyway you could ride those somewhere away from where the big boys are trying to drive cars?

Was the main complaint about health care how it was way too cheap? Because otherwise I don’t get Obamacare.

Joe Scarborough sounds weirdly like a Republican when attacking Dems on runaway spending.

Seems like there are few things more useless than listening to a politician speak.

National Holiday?

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Feb12Should today be a national holiday? It’s the birthday of a famous American, but it’s not officially celebrated.

When I was a child, we got a couple of days off school in February: the 12th and the 22nd. I don’t know if it was like that everywhere, but it was in the part of southeast Georgia where I grew up.

Now, to be sure, the fact that February 12 is the anniversary of the founding of Georgia — Georgia Day — might have contributed to that. But, today, the state no longer celebrates the anniversary of its founding, as evident by the governor’s official list of State Holidays for 2013.

But, there’s still that birthday to consider.

Now, the American whose birthday it is, isn’t that big of a hero in Georgia. Not historically, anyway. That doesn’t mean that Georgia has been right in ignoring this American. But, I leave it to you: should states, or even the federal government, recognize today as a holiday in honor of this American?

Should we, as a nation, celebrate the birthday of Joe Don Baker?

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You’ve Been Judged!

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Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “While visiting France, Joe Biden…”

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.