[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]
Archive of entries posted on 26th February 2013
Their Request for a Flying Car Must’ve Gotten Turned Down
Pittsburgh is seeking a Homeland Security grant to purchase a new hovercraft.
That way they’ll be able to stop any crime that happens 4 inches off the ground.
I Wish We Had a Better Answer to This Question
Link of the Day: Joe Biden: ‘It’s Just Easier to Blow Someone’s Brains Out with a Shotgun’
[High Praise! to The Daily Rash]
Joe Biden: ‘It’s Just Easier to Blow Someone’s Brains Out with a Shotgun’
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Garfield HBO Cat Gay Meatballs
My James A. Garfield plush windshield suction cup figure is not selling.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) February 25, 2013
Real world: I am canceling HBO. I’m cutting spending. DC: We’re only adding HBO & not Cinemax. We’re cutting spending!
— Jay Caruso (@jaycaruso) February 25, 2013
Weak jokes about cat videos now outnumber cat videos on the Internet.
— Neil Stevens (@presjpolk) February 25, 2013
Oh yeah? Well if I’m so gay like you say, then why do I have to think about my wife when I have sex with dudes, hmmm?
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 25, 2013
To be fair to Ikea, they didn’t ever specify exactly what meat was in their balls and we didn’t ask. I mean meatballs, how vague is that?
— Simon Pegg (@simonpegg) February 26, 2013
For Chicago, This Is Pretty Honest
Chicago’s police chief said that “Chicago does not have strict gun laws.” and “The state of Illinois does not have strict gun laws”.
Say… didn’t that guy used to be the Iraqi Information Minister?
End the Twilight Saga by Giving It the Mockery It Deserves
Rifftrax has made a Kickstarter page so they can get the money to riff Twilight live in theaters. Though they’re not sure how much the rights will cost, they set the goal for $55,000 — which they already met in less than two hours from the kickstarter page going live. Still, they got 29 days left to raise funds, and anything extra could help make sure they can do this. SarahK has forced me to watch all the Twilight movies, and the only thing that’s kept my sanity through it all is knowing Rifftrax was there to make those movies bearable. Plus, I’ve been to a couple of Rifftrax’s live events (streamed to a theater in Boise) and they are tons of fun. So please support this worthy cause. You don’t want tell your grandkids that when they made vampires sparkle, you did nothing.
I’ve Come Here to Cut Spending and Chew Bubblegum – And I’m All Out of Bubblegum
[High Praise! to Hope n’ Change Cartoons]
Somehow I can’t help thinking that cutting spending by throwing darts at a list of budget line-items would actually be less damaging than letting professional government bureauweenies do the selecting.
Frank Responds to Spam: The Velocity of a Laden Blog
Great Landlord! I realized I haven’t responded to spam comments in a while. If I don’t, I may stop getting spam entirely!
You are in reality a good webmaster. The site loading velocity is amazing. It seems that you are doing any distinctive trick. In addition, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a excellent activity on this topic!
Of all the excellent activities IMAO gets complimented for, the one that comes up the most often is its velocity. What is the velocity of a laden blog, you ask? Well, it makes a difference if it’s a European or African blog (server configurations tend to be quite different).
I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours lately, yet I by no means discovered any interesting article like yours. It’s lovely value enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made just right content material as you did, the internet can be much more useful than ever before.
Wow. Only three hours online. Well, welcome to the internet. I hope you like cat videos.
I think this is one of the such a lot vital information for me. And i’m happy studying your article. However want to statement on some normal things, The web site taste is perfect, the articles is truly great : D. Just right task, cheers
Thanks. You really made my day. I work hard on my content material with often little feedback (other than comments — which I don’t read unless they’re spam), but it’s nice for someone to take the time to statement that I just right task. That was keeps me going.
naturally like your web-site but you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very troublesome to tell the reality then again I will surely come again again.
Man. I’ve never before been accused of having grammar so bad its reality destroying.
But if the shoe fits…
Straight Line of the Day: How Will DC Comics Kill Off Robin?
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
How will DC Comics kill off Robin?
Jobs Not Cuts (Also Not Jobs)
So Obama in his never ending battle with math and reality pushed a hashtag on Twitter of #JobsNotCuts. Really? After four years of Obama, aren’t we pretty well aware that jobs are just not on the table no matter what we do? I mean, going to Obama and asking for jobs is like going to a vegan restaurant and asking for steak — you’re just at the wrong place if you’re looking for that option. Of course, you can say quite the same thing about spending cuts.
The government is now spending more than any other entity in the history of humanity, yet somehow the jobs aren’t here. It’s almost like Keynesian economics and Obama’s entire cabinet is full of crap. But if we don’t do this one cut (which isn’t a cut but a reduction in increase — we’ll still be spending more in 2013 than we did in 2012), then that will cost us those mythical jobs Obama could never deliver in the first case. If you believe that, let’s just go ahead and make the minimum wage to a $1000 an hour (ask any Democrat — you can constantly raise the minimum wage with no consequences ever!) and we’ll all be rich and live in prosperity because that’s how economy works.
Sometimes the only thing that keeps me from being pessimistic is knowing that the when the country collapses, the people most responsible will die out in the first winter.
Random Thoughts: Government Isn’t Peaceful
Maybe CPAC should just have a sign out front that says, “You must be this conservative to enter” and have a picture of… I dunno.. Boehner.
You’re not a peaceful person if you’re for the expansion of government. Government only has power b/c it can use force to back its edicts.
Like in NYC, if you keep selling 32oz sodas, eventually people with guns will come after you. Isn’t that crazy?
If they need any more speakers for CPAC, I can maybe make myself available. My price is one million dollars.
You expect comic book characters to come back to life, but bringing back Jason Todd (the 2nd Robin) was really really stupid.
Jason Todd being around almost ruined the impact of the recent arc with dead face Joker.
I’m only offended when The Onion does political clapper humor. I expect more from them.
Star Trek predicted the Obama economy
Star Trek seems to have gotten one right. For those not familiar with the TV franchise, there’s a plot device they used in called Hodgkin’s Law of Parallel Planetary Development. There’s some mumbo-jumbo about “similar planets with similar environments and similar populations tended to gravitate toward similar biological developments over time.” What it really meant was that they could save money by having planets look like Earth at many points in history, allowing the show to use existing sets and costumes.
But, maybe, just maybe, there is something to Hodgkin’s Law. On March 15, 1967, the 25th episode of the show’s second season (production episode 43) aired.
Here’s the setup. The Enterprise happens across a planet similar to earth (the fourth planet of system FGC 892) with Hodgkin’s Law in full effect. On this planet, the Roman Empire didn’t fall in its 503rd year (476 A.D. by our calendar). It survived another 1,500 years or so, to Start Date 4040.7 when the Enterprise happened across it.
Rome is in what we would call the 20th century, and Kirk, Spock, and McCoy get captured when investigating. They’re thrown into jail with an ex-gladiator named Flavius. And that’s where our video picks up.
[Direct link: YouTube | Full episode at StarTrek.com]
FLAVIUS: Long ago there were rebellings, but they were suppressed. And, with each century, the slaves acquired more rights under the law. They received rights to medicine, the right to government payments in their old age, and they slowly learned to be content.
SPOCK: Even more fascinating. Slavery involving into an institution, with guaranteed medical payments, old age pension.
The only thing they forgot were the Obama phones.
Metaphorically Speaking
In Kansas, authorities say two brothers accidentally blew up their house after celebrating a $75,000 winning lottery ticket by purchasing marijuana and meth.
Why does this make me think of the economy after Obama’s election?
You’ve Been Judged!
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Finish this verse:
Rosa sat… so Martin could walk.
Martin walked… so Obama could run.
Obama ran…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.