Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama threatened to veto the new immigration bill unless…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama threatened to veto the new immigration bill unless…
…every person caught crossing the border is searched for exploding pinto beans.
…it applied to Kenyans who had served as President.
…it explicity blamed Bush for the problem.
…it includes a special clause forbidding any investigation into his overstaying his student visa.
…it included naturalization of Wookies.
… he could get a green card out of it.
… Congress expanded it to 2,000 pages and promised not to read it.
…unless his autopen tells him it’s OK.
… they took out the phrase “hiding behind a bush,” which he thought was a dig at him.
… it allowed him to deport any TEA Party members.
…he got to designate a list of people to expatriot.
…it contained DoE grants to companies run by donors to develop more efficient “Green Mexicans.”
… it raised taxes.
…detained chihuahuas are sent to the WH for further ‘inspection’.
..unless it included a provision for deporting busts of Winston Churchill.
…unless it included a stipulation that newly documented immigrants would be automatically registered to the Democratic Party.
… unless he was excluded from deportation.
… they rescheduled the signing ceremony around his tee times.
Unless it allows him to import a new White House chef who really knows how to cook a dog.
…unless it guaranteed that 15% of the new immigrants would be given jobs as greenskeepers for his favorite golf courses.
… he gets his way. And Kurds.
… he gets to call affixing his signature to the work of others a “signature achievement.”
… there is a mechanism for rigid oversight and tracking — no, wait, that’s for gun legislation.
… Congress attaches a rider to the bill declaring that shooting 2 for 22 is “really good, honestly.”
he gets ice cream. And a pony. And a bedtime story..no, TWO stories.
…unless he can drone strike or deport Boehner and McConnell.
… he gets to say, “Now I’m gonna Rubio nose in it!”
… Congress first makes it sing a little song about just being a bill, sitting here on Capitol Hill.
… they explain to him why the work of this Gang of Eight wasn’t just called the Octet Offensive.
… they first settle a copyright suit by his pals at Amnesty International.
… they agree to count crossing the border as a job, to help give the unemployment numbers a needed bump.
…it includes provisions to deny citizenship to anyone who doesn’t register Democrat.
…it contains a provision to strip citizenship from anyone who doesn’t vote Democrat or owns guns.
…he was given plenty of time to read it because “Hey, I have given you plenty of time to read every bill I wanted passed Jack!”
…he could exempt Latinos and double the penalties for any Christian European immigrants.
…it includes provisions for deporting Michelle.
…he gets to proceed straight to the golf course afterwards without having to do any annoying press conferences.
…it helps destroy America.
President Obama threatened to veto the new immigration bill unless…
…it includes a provision to deport all non-minorities back to their countries of origin.
…the Republicans bow down before him and abase themselves in proper fashion.
…Just kidding, He’ll sign anything that will ensure Democratic control of the country for years to come.
…Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a Plane, It’s a frog! No not bird not plane nor even frog, it’s just little ol’ me, Underdog.
…someone finds 10 honest men.
…he receives orders from his handlers telling him otherwise.
…someone redefines the word “Veto”. I’m looking at you John Roberts.
…it was also printed in Spanish so Mexico was sure their amendments and pork were included.
…it includes a money back guarantee for anyone that is disappointed after arrival.
…Guatemala is allowed to reclaim it’s ancestral Home Depot burial grounds.
…the path to citizenship leads through one or more states with legalized weed.
…it states that “A bird in the hand is worth two in Bush’s ass!”
…it
requires(oops, I mean “enslaves”) all immigrants to vote Demon-RAT for the rest of their lives!…. it included the amendment introduced by Senator Menendez regarding Dominican “guest workers”.
He is also given amnesty.
… all immigrants are immediately granted Social Security for any family members- even those remaining behind.
…they granted him amnesty as well.
…its name is changed to the ‘Immigration Guillermo,’ in the spirit of multiculturalism.
…it passed
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