Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “The UN Is Now Using Drones for Surveillance. You Can Tell It’s a UN Drone…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
San Francisco wants to ban releasing butterflies at weddings. Instead…
So the wife made me watch that Carrie Underwood The Sound of Music. I even suggested another movie with a well known star of musicals, Hugh Jackman, but I still had to watch The Sound of Music instead of The Wolverine. It’s funny, though, until we started watching, I completely forgot I was in The Sound of Music in 8th grade. I was Max, which was the second biggest male speaking part, but he doesn’t come in until the 2nd act which means I didn’t pay attention to the first act and never understood the plot.
Anyway, that movie needs a lot of updating. Not only is none of the music dubstep, but the plot is just lame and boring. First change, rename if from the yawn inducing “The Sound of Music” to the much more exciting sounding “Maria: Nazi Smasher” (“I’ve come to sing songs and kill Nazis, and I’m all out of Nazis.”). And, the ending needs to be changed. I mean, you can’t have Nazis in a movie or video game and then not kill them — that’s almost being a Nazi-sympathizer. So, definitely more action at the end.
MARIA: “We’re the von Trapps. We sing as a family.”
*all pull out guns*
MARIA: “And we kill as a family.”
GRETEL: “The sun has gone, and to graves you all must go” *starts firing*
Also, that “Do-Re-Mi” song is cute, but it could really use some updating as well. Here’s my stab at it:
D’oh, a sound that homer makes
Ray, famous for its pizza
Me, a being filled with awesome
Fall, the time for pumpkin spice
Tso, a gen’ral’s chicken dish
Law, the thing that Judge Dredd is
T, a man who pities fools
That will bring us back to
D’oh!
Anyway, just some ideas. If Hollywood wants to hire me, my standard fee is a million dollars.
It’s the Christmas season. And, of course, what would Christmas be without … a Star Trek reference?
The song Baby, It’s Cold Outside first appeared in the MGM feature Neptune’s Daughter
[YouTube]
I’m losing faith in America that Obama is still able to give a speech in this country without someone shouting, “Shut up, loser!”
“Despite all my rage, I’m still just a rat in a cage!” Fox Butterfield, is that you?
Every argument over the rules of Russian roulette seem to end in violence.
How useful are plastic guns if we don’t have plastic bullets?
Funny. Until watching the Carrie Underwood Sound of Music tonight, I completely forgot that in 8th grade I played Max in a school production.
I don’t even know the plot. My character didn’t come in until the 2nd act, so the beginning was never very important to me.
I had a lot of lines, but pointing to an imaginary “dilapidated” castle is all I remember.
One of my two songs got cut because I wasn’t very good at singing 🙁
To update Sound of Music, they should have renamed it “Maria, Nazi Smasher” and changed the ending.
#LiesObamaToldUs “My friends call me ‘Dutch.'”
#LiesObamaToldUs “I once started a fight club.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “I can’t name all the Power Rangers.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “I have a green belt in judo.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “That’s not my fedora.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “Charlie bit me!”
#LiesObamaToldUs “I am good at the sex.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “I once found the end of a rainbow.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “A bigger kid told me it was okay.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “If you don’t stop making fun of my ears, I will stab you.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “I have a super awesome tat of a dragon.”
#LiesObamaToldUs “That’s a football injury.”
Luckily Taco Bell axed its idea of a “Have a surprise attack on some Locos Tacos!” ad.
So before modern birth control and abortion procedures existed, were women technologically incapable of being equal to men?
New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg is pushing a ban on the sale of styrofoam cups and plates.
In the end, he’ll probably settle for just limiting them to 7 per package.
[High Praise! to I Can Has Cheeseburger]
I said it before and I’ll say it again: I’d rather be ruled by cats than Obama.
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #24,230)
A new study shows that viewing natural wonders such as the the Grand Canyon increases people’s tendency to believe in God.
Man-made wonders like Obamacare, however, mostly just made people pray for deliverance.
[High Praise! to National Report]
Portland, OR Schools Abolish Lunchtime To Avoid Allegations Of Racism
BONUS LINK:
A global warming epiphany from Aft Gang Agley
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com
Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
From Smilin’ Jack:
[reference link]
From Smilin’ Jack:
From Smilin’ Jack:
[reference link]
From Smilin’ Jack:
[reference link]
My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:
From epador:
From Hatless in Hattiesburg:
From walruskkkch:
[reference link]
From walruskkkch:
From walruskkkch:
From walruskkkch:
From walruskkkch:
[reference link] (Obscury!)
This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:
Walruskkkch, who may or may not be a Transylvania native.
PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
IMAGE SOURCES: Lots of great Obama pics to be found at the White House Flickr page.
Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
The National Security Agency was able to eavesdrop on the communications of Google and Yahoo users without breaking into either company’s data centers.
Apparently calling someone and saying “I lost my password, can I use yours?” works a lot better than you’d think.
[High Praise! to The Right Planet]
Progressives needed to provide cover to their legislators to socialize the health care system, so they simply lied. The only fault the progressive-owned mainstream media can find with that is with us for being stupid enough to believe what the liberals told us.
I agree. If you believe anything a liberal tells you, if you imagine you can count on a liberal to hold to any particular principle when that principle stops being useful as a means to accumulate power, you are a fool.
Star Wars done Australian style, with so many inside-Australian cultural references it makes “Crocodile Dundee” look like “That 70’s Show”
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #84,080)
If you find yourself head-scratching over the accents & slang, you can activate the American English captions by clicking the “CC” button in the lower right of the video frame.
Just my opinion, but I found the characters in this film a lot more likeable than the ones in “Phantom Menace”.
President Obama came in at #17 on GQ Magazine’s “25 Least Influential People of 2013” list.
That doesn’t seem fair. Look how much he’s done for Jay Leno’s monologue.
[High Praise! to ScrappleFace]
Bargain Shopping Mars Black Friday Violence Hopes
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
