… it was hijacked by a cat video site that made more sense.
… the Spanglish was replaced by Obamish.
… the girl on the home page is now a photoshop of Snowden in drag.
… it takes thirty seconds longer for hackers to break in and steal your personal information this time.
… it’s all cookie recipes (even Anonymiss can break into this site, fer cryin’ out loud!)
…Due to a shortage of Physicians, Veterinarians have been drafted to keep costs down. Those with cold wet noses should report to their PCP immediately.
…since the Canadians have proven inept at website design, Sebelius has contracted with the Elbonians to correct all code. http://dilbert.com/2014-01-19/
. . . is that healthcare.gov is an anagram of the description “a hot, clever hag”, which, except for the hot part, describes a former Secretary of State.
Anyone who signs up by this weekend gets a personalized State of the Union BS Bingo card for next Tuesday night. Bingo winners will receive a choice of either a Nigerian chain letter, or something of equal value out of Mooch’s garden.
Executive Order #222,333,025: HealthCare.Gov shall be renamed, lauded and proclaimed to be deemed HealthCare.Luv – please revise your website or face felony charges punishable by death.
cookies will not be provided with your milk.
All Republicans registering on the site are assigned to a Dr. Kevorkian as primary care physician.
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
all your base belong us.
The Russian and Syrian identity thieves somehow managed to negate themselves. (But not the Chinese identity thieves.)
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
all x-rays will be handled by the TSA.
@2 – These are supposed to be surprising.
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
if you like your undertaker, you can keep your undertaker.
The site announced it’s engagement with Apple’s Siri.
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
the largest group opting out are the uninsured.
Your aspirin ration has been increased to 200 mg from 250 mg.
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
body piercings and tattoos are now covered under the Bronze plan, to attract younger people to sign up.
The Latest Surprise From HealthCare.Gov…
… it was hijacked by a cat video site that made more sense.
… the Spanglish was replaced by Obamish.
… the girl on the home page is now a photoshop of Snowden in drag.
… it takes thirty seconds longer for hackers to break in and steal your personal information this time.
… it’s all cookie recipes (even Anonymiss can break into this site, fer cryin’ out loud!)
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
premiums will rise 400% instead of 600% providing you with a cost cutting of 200%!
@5: and colonoscopies.
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
Death panels now choose death 37.8% more often!
The subsidy calculator has been replaced buy a random number generator. No one noticed.
The truth finally comes out that the site was designed by “Julia”.
…is that it can tell you in 67 different languages to “be patient” and “try again later”…
… is that the new metrics include anyone who even sees the address HealthCare.gov as “enrolled”. (Which means you all are now, suckers!)
@13 & @16: All too realistic. Are you sure you don’t work for the gov’t? If not, don’t give ’em ideas!
… There was no such thing as a free launch.
… The fine print. (Wait; sorry. Justice Roberts has deemed it to be “tax print.”)
“Flatline of the Day” feature for conservative jokers.
…Due to a shortage of Physicians, Veterinarians have been drafted to keep costs down. Those with cold wet noses should report to their PCP immediately.
…since the Canadians have proven inept at website design, Sebelius has contracted with the Elbonians to correct all code.
http://dilbert.com/2014-01-19/
@12 Hee hee hee 🙂 Cookies to Steve H!
and @21 Cookies to Oppo.
Thanks for making me smile, guys 🙂
@17 Cookies to can of spam. Love that one too 🙂
…its pretty much all gov, no healthcare.
….if you like your shaman you can keep your shaman.
….leeches for bloodletting in order to restore the humors of the body are now covered by Obamacare.
. . . is the appearance of the Spanish Inquisition if you enter the right combination of keystrokes.
. . . is that healthcare.gov is an anagram of the description “a hot, clever hag”, which, except for the hot part, describes a former Secretary of State.
A new home surgery kit,called SutureSelf.
(Not mine – stolen from someone else because I thought it was funny.)
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
is that the HealthCare.gov domain name was actually purchased by Russian Gangsters. Who will probably give you a better deal than the US Government.
@28 Well, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
… is that the code it was written in is all onesies and Zeros.
… is that the default settings are all “Bush.”
… is that every time you log on you get wreck-rolled.
@28 & 32
…is that it is one of its chief weapons, along with fear, ruthless inefficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the democratic party.
@34
“almost”?
…is the inequality that is inherent in the system.
@ 35
Yeah, that should have been “a completely fanatical devotion”
Anyone who signs up by this weekend gets a personalized State of the Union BS Bingo card for next Tuesday night. Bingo winners will receive a choice of either a Nigerian chain letter, or something of equal value out of Mooch’s garden.
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
I really can has cheezburger.
Clicking enter FINALLY takes you to the next page
Convicted child pornographers are exempt from signing up for Obamacare since they are not allowed to use a computer.
walruskkkch says:
January 24th, 2014 at 12:02 pm
The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…
all your base belong us.
“All Your Base Are Belong to Us”. Fixed it
If you like your tumor you can keep your tumor.
Ohh, we thought you said, “Deaf panel.” Everyone on the death panel can hear quite well, thank you.
Executive Order #222,333,025: HealthCare.Gov shall be renamed, lauded and proclaimed to be deemed HealthCare.Luv – please revise your website or face felony charges punishable by death.