He died doing what he loved: skiing – he shot himself while skiing.
— blake (@Leemanish) March 3, 2014
Monkey: "We're not so different"
Me: "Did that monkey just talk to me"
Monkey: "Monkey noise"
Me: "Did it just say 'monkey noise'?"
— Platypus King (@DillDoes) July 28, 2014
“This may be the wine talking” – Drunk ventriloquist
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) July 29, 2014
I don't have coffee in the morning so I can wake up. I wake up in the morning so I can have coffee.
— James Lileks (@Lileks) July 29, 2014