Straight Line of the Day: Scientists in Chicago Opened the Coffin of a 2500-Year-Old Egyptian Mummy and Found…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Scientists in Chicago opened the coffin of a 2500-year-old Egyptian mummy and found…

39 Comments

  1. . . . the earliest known copy of an AARP card.

    . . . some very stale Anonymiss cookies.

    . . . a very overdue book from the Alexandria library with an accumulated fine surpassed only by Obama’s contribution to the national debt.

    . . . a partially wrapped body since local 241 of the Amalgamated Mortuary Workers had a wildcat walkout that week.

  2. . . . the player that will enable the Cubs to win their first World Series since 1908

    . . . a map with all fifty-seven states on it

    . . . Obama’s brain, Rahm Emanuel’s conscience, and Hillary Clinton’s personality

  3. .. Nancy Pelosi looking several years younger… Oh no wait, that was the mummy…

    … A dried up, emaciated body of someone who still isn’t hungry enough to eat Michelle Obama’s school lunches.

    … The last person who ever asked for chocolate chip cookies with walnuts.

  4. …a Chicagoin uncorrupted by Chicago politics.

    …a body without a bullet in it…whoa, everbody get down!!! Ummmm, another body with bullets in it. Move along. Nothing to see here.

    …hieroglyphics explaining that he had his hands up but the racist cops stabbed him anyway.

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