President Obama made the following proclomation from the green on the 11th hole this morning:

After a careful reevaluation of the grand jury transcripts of the Wilson case, I have decided that body cameras for police officers will not go far enough to accurately document what occurs in situations such as this. The evidence presented during the grand jury clearly exonerated Officer Wilson, and I am not sure that a body camera mounted on Officer Wilson would have changed that result. This is clearly not acceptable. Eye witness accounts were discredited merely because they contradicted with all of the known physical evidence.  Doesn’t it just feel wrong that all these voices are disenfrachised merely because they ran afoul of reality?  This is just not right.  I think it is important for the victims to have their video voice heard. Consequently, by executive order I will be mandating that officers not be allowed to wear body cameras at all, since any body cameras on ‘the man’ would be inherently racist and unreliable and recording the events from the white perspective, as we have seen with the grand jury evidence. Instead, all black teens or criminals will be required to wear body cameras at all times. I have already contracted with Industrial Light and Magic to handle the editing of all feeds from these cameras, and Harvey Weinstein, Spike Lee and Aaron Sorkin have kindly agreed to oversee the process to ensure that a truthful narrative will always come forward and the problems encountered in Ferguson will be relegated to our authorized history.

All hail me, and long live the narrative.