In the comments to this post, walruskkkch [High Praise!] left this bacon bit:

Lincoln: “John, take a memo. Subject Slavery. Text reads ‘All slaves are now to be considered free.’ Sign it A Lincoln and have it buried with the other Friday news dumps we are doing. I’m off for the golf course.”

See Also: Pelosi – Emancipation Proclamation was an executive order

I’ve been watching the Gruber testimony so you don’t have to.  Here are some of the interesting revalations that have come out:

• Jon Gruber isn’t his real name. The name on his original birth certificate is Jon Goebbels.
• Michelle also paid him to lie about the benefits of her school lunch program, and she paid him off in Hostess stock.
• He originally got involved with designing healthcare plans because he was disappointed that MIT’s plan didn’t cover essential services like Viagara and Columbian prostitutes.
• Much like the case with Elizabeth Warren, he was originally hired at MIT because he claimed to be 1/32 lesbian on his father’s side. His only proof, which was accepted unquestioningly, was his Indigo Girls collection. He had both band members in near mint condition displayed in his cellar.
• On the weekends and holidays, he routinely entertains himself by pushing the wheelchair bound elderly off cliffs.  He also likes to dress up as a doctor, sneak into an abortion clinic and see how many procedures he can complete before getting caught.  His buddy Gosnell used to get a kick out of it and let him take home trophies.
• After viewing Michael Moore’s movie about healthcare, he went to Cuba for some elective surgery. The care there was so exceptional, one can barely see the lobotomy scars or the burn scars on his nipples left by the leads from the car battery.
• Upon close examination, the model he used to predict lower healthcare costs under Obamacare was the same as the model used to generate the global warming hockey stick, only he turned the output upside down.
• He finally admitted that his favorite film of all time is Logans’ Run, except the ending ruined it.
• In addition to being obsessed with healthcare, he is also obsessed with finding the perfect recipe for Soylent Green. The files in his office contained his recipes for Soylent White, Soylent Black, Soylent Yellow, Soylent Red, Soylent Swarthy and Soylent Diverse. A note in the margins indicated that Soylent Diverse was best if it contained no White at all.
• The UN commissioned him to devise a similar healthcare plan to ‘take care’ of Israel.