Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
…the View hosts, and cuddling.
…pictures. Just pictures of school lunches.
…was forcing prisoners to listen to the audio version of “Dreams of My Father”.
…was a ruthless use of the “comfy chair”.
…was making prisoners eat Michelle’s school menu.
. . . is playing recordings of Hillary Clinton speaking in that awful nasal voice of hers
. . . is playing recordings of “Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini” from records that are punched off-center (as was done in the movie One, Two, Three)
. . . is requiring the person interrogated to believe anything that Barack Obama has said
. . . an iPod loaded with Obama speeches. Her Royal Majesty admitted everything.
…was the psychological threat embodied in making the prisoners repeat “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot”, and then not shooting them…
…was forcing them to watch television on flat panels in Standard Definition.
…was making them hold extremely awkward “stress positions” such as Obama’s backswing…
… Microsoft Bob.
… walnuts.
… Don Ho records.
… was forcing them to connect to the internet with a vic-20 or TI-99A.
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
dangling Anonymiss cookies juuuuust out of reach.
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
caddying for Obama, one guy actually made it through 16 holes before breaking.
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
Nancy Pelosi lap dances.
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
Sandra Fluke nags them to split the cost of a condom.
get them drunk and have them wake up naked in bed with Diane Feinstein.
force them to do web design for Obamacare
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
Vanilla Ice
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
take away their WiFi.
miley cyrus twerking
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
force them to cross the “Bridge of Death across the gorge of Eternal Peril”.
Let’s just say the words “Pantaloons” and “Rabid Weasels” were involved at some point.
Tell them they were sure to win the best SLOTD competition, then show them they didn’t even get honorable mention.
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
… Mooch’s new halal lunch menu consisting solely of edible prayer rugs
… An electric razor and a bar of soap
…bacon.
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
playing “hide the handgrenade”.
Gauntlets on a chalkboard
Gauntlets on a chalkboard
Though #9, the Pelosi lap dance, sounds really, really bad.
Forced to watch Numa Numa 24/7.
… is a nine-year-old boy explaining his latest creation in MInecraft for about 13 hours straight.
(Not that this is any way informed by personal experience. No sir.)
… asking “please”. And if that doesn’t work, “pretty please”.
… well, if we told you, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore, would it? Sheesh… the nerve of some people.
… is too grotesque to describe in print, but even Jack Bauer would say “dude, that’s way over the line!”
…was a ruthless use of the “comfy chair”.
Dang it! I knew I shouldn’t have done work this afternoon. I could’ve made that reference.
…making them find out the real reason all the terrorist women wear those ninja costumes.
(I saw one the other day…in Cambridge MA, USA… it was disturbing to say the least)
… the ISILation chamber.
… Pauly Shoreboarding.
… making them pay a penalty. . . then, when they pay it, call it a tax; but if they refer to it as a tax, call it a penalty.
… the drip-drip-drip of Lois Lerner revelations.
… booking them on a long airline flight that allows cell phone calls.
… the cat-o’-nine-Hillary-Country-Western-songs.
. . . making them transcribe Joe Biden’s autobiography
. . . working in the prison laundry until they get that stain out of the blue dress
. . . rations consist entirely of Michelle Obama approved school lunches
. . . force feeding them cookies (with walnuts)
… a Sharpton schtick in your eye.
… a kind of probing that they hope is spelled “heinous.”
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
…Windows ME
…I’ll tell ya tomorrow…
…the banana knock knock joke, but never getting to orange
…threatening to use old, un-sticky velcro on the bomb vests they receive for Guantanamo graduation ceremony.
…up to four hours a week of Bollywood movies on their big screen TVs, but they can choose the five hours of waterboarding option.
…using ~~~~~s to rate the dishonesty of their answers.
…setting up their female relatives on dates with Bart Simpson if they don’t spill the beans.
…eating a whole plate of Anonymiss’ cookies in front of them and not even giving them the crumbs.
…making them sign up for Obamacare at Healthcare.gov.
…Surprise.
…and Fear. Fear and surprise.
…and Ruthless efficiency. Fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency.
…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. Fear, surpr…oh never mind.
…the all-you-can-eat bacon buffet.
…Pomeranians. Hey, they’re meaner than they look!
…a stack of Playboy magazines with burkas photoshopped over all the models.
…involves a chicken, a toilet plunger, a copy of the Washington Post, five spatulas, and lots of glitter. -It’s so bizarre, nobody has ever believed it was possible to even think to ban it.
Congressional hearings.
Interview by Candy Crowley
…is being forced to drink that water that is left over after you boil hotdogs.
… The “motor boat” on the belly button…. it works when torturing my kids!
The most surprising secret CIA enhanced interrogation technique…
waterboarding using gasoline.
. . . forcing the victims to stare at naked Hillary photos.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/50524827044935929/
A nest of wiener dogs
Filling in government forms ad nauseum IN TRIPLICATE.
Being forced to test Joe Biden’s home security plans.
Having to navigate any government “service” automated phone tree.
Involves, a cat, a sack, several cacti, 2 pounds of lard, a bucket of water, a corkscrew, and several chihuahuas.
A grasshopper (see Ronin for reference).