It sucks when you try to form a drug cartel but the existing drug cartel won't stop making fun of your Thundercats bedspread.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) December 15, 2014
"I'm Too Lazy To Write A Novel"
- a short story
— Eldge (@Sickayduh) December 15, 2014
Is Larry here yet?
"Regular Larry or Larry Who Thinks His Name Is Bob?"
wife: why did we invite Steve Who Thinks Everyone's Name Is Larry?
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) December 15, 2014
I've been planning all day what to do with the extra time I'm gonna save once I start using "K" instead of "OK" and I'm so so excited.
— Jake Up (@JakeSocial) December 15, 2014
95% of culinary school is learning how to make the flames big and swing the pan around, theres one class on soups and the rest is fire moves
— John V (@wettbutt) December 15, 2014
If I were Tom Hanks, I would pick a different house to have dinner in every night. Who wouldn't let him in?
— Ristolable (@Ristolable) December 16, 2014