California residents voted to pass a measure requiring individuals to purchase a permit to buy pens, pencils, crayons, markers, and other writing implements.
The measure, Proposition 63, would require individuals to pay up to $50 for a purchase authorization permit in order to buy any object capable of marking paper.
When MontBlancs are outlawed, only outlaws will have MontBlancs.
The measure was proposed by Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom, who late Tuesday called the vote “historic progress to reduce verbal violence.”
“We all respect the First Amendment,” Newsom said, “but time and time again we see the abuses. Words are used carelessly. Signs are waved. Feelings are hurt.”
“We’re not saying that ALL speech is bad,” Newsom continued. “When used by trained professionals, like news network anchors, words can protect those in power. But it’s ridiculous to assume that untrained amateurs should have that sort of access. Without common sense restrictions on writing, it’d be like the Wild West with hardened outlaws scribbling whatever the felt like.”
“There’s a reason every western ending with shooting,” concluded Newsom, “everyone had pencils.”
Awesome! I propose a Lactost to Harvey.
Wait — did you write this on a keyboard, like the military uses?
Makes sense to restrict pen access. Like guns, they are mightier than swords.
When pencils are outlawed, only outlaws will have pencils.
“Gimme all yer money or I’ll fill you full of
leada mixture of clay and graphite.”I read somewhere that there is a technolgy that will allow you to use a computer to print out letters on to a piece of paper. No need to go to a stationary store. Just download the letters and print.
I’d give it 10 years to be actually filed by someone in California. Seriously.
I wouldn’t bet against that.