Reports have come out from failing rags glorious bastions of truth such as the New York Times, that President Donald J Trump let the Russians know about his not-Rand-Paul-approved strike on a Syrian airbase before it happened!.

This is obvious collusion. Heck, this whole attack was obviously orchestrated by the Kremlin via a phone call to Bannon. Probably. The Russians clearly want to destroy Assad and just are pretending to help him. Except, in a plot twist, they actually do want to help him and they are using President Trumps multi-dimensional chess skills to make it look like they are helping him, to hide the fact that they aren’t, which is just a cover for actually wanting to help him.

There can be no other explanation for such a blatant not-Rand-Paul-approved attack on Syrian territory. And as we all know, President Trump is basically a clone of Vladimir Putin that the Soviet Union created back in the before times, during the Cold War Glorious Soviet Era of Super Peace and Prosperity.

Except they didn’t know the man they were cloning, Vladimir Putin, has been a secret Nazi spy since birth. Further proof that President Trump is also a Nazi. And also Bannon.

In further news, the Huffington Post, another piece of lie-spewing garbage excellent source of robustly researched propaganda news has a great piece up right now about how Muhammad was actually a child molesting rapist feminist.

Seriously, I wish I was making all of this up. Satire is so hard right now.