Would You Like to Pet My Support Scorpion?

American Airlines announced that under their new “support animal” policy, they would allow miniature horses on board.

I’m skeptical of the proliferation of support animals. The only person who actually needs a miniature horse is a miniature cowboy.

14 Comments

  1. Do they have to pay for their “support” animal to fly? Buy them a seat? If they don’t then I got myself a couple of “Support” humans I would like to travel to Vegas with.

    • Looks like I get my friends to ply for free, but they may not like the restrictions.

      *Emotional / psychiatric support and fully-trained service animals can fly in the cabin at no charge if they meet the requirements.

      Animals must be able to fit at the customer’s feet, under their seat or in their lap (animals to be seated on lap must be smaller than a 2-year old child). For safety reasons, customers won’t be able to sit in an exit row when traveling with their service or emotional / psychiatric support animal.

      Emotional support and service animals cannot:
      · Protrude into or block aisles
      · Occupy a seat
      · Eat from tray tables*

    • Scratch the Service Skunk idea. I might smell like Maxine Waters. Ima get a Service Raccoon and walk around with him on top of my head. Plus I will look like my Boyhood Hero Davy Crocket. And no airport can deny me service if the Dude with a Service Peacock can do it.

  2. There is no need to take a miniature horse as a support animal. The spirit of Lil Sebastian is always flying alongside you!

    5000 Candles in the Wind, by Mouse Rat
    [Verse 1]
    Up in horsey heaven, here’s the thing
    You trade your legs for angels wings
    And once we’ve all said good-bye
    You take a running leap and you learn to fly

    [Chorus]
    Bye Bye Li’l Sebastian
    Miss you in the saddest fashion
    Bye Bye Li’l Sebastian
    You’re 5000 candles in the wind

    [Verse 2]
    And though we all miss you everyday
    We know you’re up there eating heaven’s hay
    And here’s the part that hurts the most
    Humans cannot ride a ghost

    [Chorus]
    Bye Bye Li’l Sebastian
    Miss you in the saddest fashion
    Bye Bye Li’l Sebastian
    You’re 5000 candles in the wind

    Everybody sing it now!

    Bye Bye Li’l Sebastian
    Miss you in the saddest fashion
    Bye Bye Li’l Sebastian
    You’re 5000 candles in the wind

    [Outro]
    Maybe someday we’ll saddle up again
    And I know I’ll always miss my horsiest friend
    Spread your wings and fly
    Spread your wings and fly

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