I’ve done some stupid things. I’ve done a lot of stupid things. In fact, I’ve not finished doing stupid things. But I’ve always lived to tell the tale. Or, not telling, because I really don’t want everyone to know how stupid I was.
But some stupid people never told what stupid things they did. Because they couldn’t.
Next time you do something stupid and live to tell the tale, you can tell us. We can keep a secret.
Per Yahoo News (9/19/19):
While boarding Air Force One during a fundraising swing through California, President Trump was photographed with multiple $20 bills visible in his back pocket.
The photo, taken at Moffett Federal Airfield in Mountain View by Reuters photographer Tom Brenner on Tuesday, quickly went viral.
Straight Line of the Day: Trump had a pocket full of twenties…
Joe Biden Aims to Put ‘720 Million’ Women to Work. There’s Just One Problem.
PJ Media | 09/18/2019 | Tyler O’ NeilOn Tuesday, former Vice President Joe Biden said his childcare tax credit would put “720 million” women into the workforce. The problem? There were only 327.1 million people in America in 2018, according to the Census Bureau. . . .
“If you get a tax break for a racehorse, why in [G]od’s name couldn’t we provide an $8,000 tax credit for everybody who has childcare costs? It would put 720 million women back in the workforce,” Biden said at a “Workers 2020” summit put on by the Philadelphia AFL-CIO.
Observers touted it as the most realistic plan put forth by Biden yet.
Well, today’s the day.
The date selected by some kook for other kooks to gather and make a stupid, futile gesture.
I’m not talking about the “climate strikes,” though. I’m talking about the well-publicized, pre-announced flash mob (only liberals could screw that up) — the storming of Area 51. . . while we have a president who’s OK with nuking storms.
FAA Closes Airspace Around Area 51 Ahead of Alien Raid Event
Digital Trends | September 18, 2019 | Allison MatyusTo deal with any extraterrestrial-seeking attendees of the viral “Storm Area 51” event, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has announced that airspace around Area 51 will be temporarily closed this weekend.
The FAA issued temporary flight restrictions between September 18-23 for “special security reasons” in the Nevada desert where U.S. Air Force’s Nevada Test and Training Range — commonly known as Area 51 — is located. That means no one can fly aircraft in the surrounding area, including would-be alien hunters hoping to send a drone hovering above Area 51.
The closures could be a result of the popularity of the Area 51 Facebook event called, ‘’Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us,” which has captured the interest millions of people. According to the Facebook invite, 2.1 million have RSVPed as attending the event, though there’s almost no chance even a fraction of that number shows up when it kicks off on September 20. The event’s description reads, “We will all meet up in Rural Nevada and coordinate our parties. If we Naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Let’s see them aliens.”
“They can’t shoot all of us” — says one Passenger Pigeon to another.
When you hear the beginning of this song, do you think of MC Hammer or Rick James? That says a lot about … well, something.
What’s been on your mind? Got something you’d like to share? A topic to discuss? It’s Thursday Night Open Thread.
Who wants to start?
This is from 10 years ago this week. — The Editors
So, SarahK and I started watchin Mad Men
FRANK SLOGAN IDEAS
* Hunt’s Ketchup: “When for some reason you can’t get Heinz.”
* Taco Bell: “It’s like Mexican food.”
* Maglite: “Just try bashing in someone’s skull with our competitor’s flashlight.”
* Windows Vista: “The future is..#&..X$E.. Unrecoverable slogan error 0x63F5E1.”
* Arby’s: “It’s like food.”
* RC Cola: “The Switzerland of the cola wars.”
* Spam: “Release your inner hobo.”
* Coors Light: “When you want alcohol and you don’t care what the delivery system is.”
* Toyota Prius: “Still not as gay as riding a bike.”
* Band-Aid: “It’s a brand name, dammit!”
* Coffee-mate: “As seen on Mythbusters.”
* Chips Ahoy!: “Betcha you’ll bite a chip… which will be nice respite from the dry, flavor-less cookie.”
* Bic Pens: “Can never find a pen? Try the @#$% store!”
* Hostess Twinkies: “Expiration Date: When the sun swallows the earth.”
You may have heard about “SCE to AUX,” the command given that saved the Apollo 12 mission after it was struck by lightning during launch. If you haven’t heard about it, well, you’re about to. But, if like me, you have heard the story, you may know that it worked, but might not be familiar with why it worked. We’re about to fix that.
It’s amazing what we were able to accomplish in the 1960s.
Responding to demand from literally no one:
Nike’s New Shoes Have Laces You Can Control With Siri
CNBC | Aug 29, 2019 | Todd HaseltonNike on Thursday announced Adapt Huarache shoes. They’re a redesign of the original Nike Huarache launched in 1991 and use FitAdapt self-lacing technology similar to the Nike Adapt BB shoes that were announced in January.
The Adapt Huaraches work with the Apple Watch and Siri, so you can ask Siri to control a motor inside to lace or unlace the shoes.
With support for Apple’s Siri shortcuts, users can talk to an Apple Watch or an iPhone and say a phrase like “Siri, release my shoes” to remove them.
The Adapt Huaraches also support different presets for fit styles. You can set a tighter fit for exercise, or a looser one when you’re at home. Like the Adapt BB shoes, you can select and change the color of two LED lights that sit on the sole, and each fit preset can be set to display a different color. Nike will offer different presets for foot types and activities, it said.
Whatever inevitably goes wrong — oh, let’s say hackers cutting off your circulation, or college kids adapting the gizmo to bikinis — will provide a great contender for the “First World Problems: Self-Inflicted” prize.
So, you have a blog post idea for me?
Yes, sir, I do. You know how some TV shows stop from getting stale by making unexpected changes?
What do you mean?
You know Doctor Who? They make massive changes every few years and keep things fresh.
Okay. What are you proposing?
We turn you into a woman.
What?
Yeah yeah yeah. It’ll be totally unexpected.
I mean, how would that work? My name is Harvey. It’s not Pat or Robin or Ashley or Sam or any name that lends itself to either male or female characters. Harvey is pretty much a man’s name.
Or a rabbit’s.
Yeah, but it’s a male rabbit. That’s my point.
Oh, yeah. I guess that wouldn’t work. Whoops!
Whoopsie! You got anything else?
Well, how about a wedding? That always boosts ratings.
Oh! Weddings are tight! But didn’t we already do that with Frank J. and Sarah K.?
Oh, right. Wait! I’ve got it. We could kill you off.
What?
Yeah, that would subvert expectations.
What? Kill me?
Yeah. Remember on “Game of Thrones” how shocking it was when Ned Stark was killed off? The ratings skyrocketed.
So you want to behead me to make ratings skyrocket?
Now that you put it that way, it might not be such a good idea.
Thank you! I’ve grown quite attached to my head.
Oh, yeah. You want something else then?
How about I just retire?
You can’t do that!
You were wanting to kill me, but retirement is too much?
Wouldn’t that cause problems for everyone?
No, it’ll be super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Isn’t that my line?
You wanted to subvert expectations, didn’t you? Well, there you go.
You got me. Let’s try it again.
It’ll be super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Oh, really?
Yeah. I just write a post saying that I’m retiring. Then I quit posting. I take my personal blog offline, close some accounts, and there you go.
I see the “super easy” part. How is that “barely an inconvenience?”
For me, it is. The rest of you are just gonna have to step up for a little while. Besides, it’s not like I’m really going to retire.
*stinger*
