I can never tell if something is actually happening or if this is the usual “Something is happening!” that happens multiples times each day and is promptly forgotten about.

“Come quick, everybody! Them Democrats is debating!”

Thought the showstopper for Frozen 2 was pretty uninspired.
“Let it go. Two point oh.
We’re doing this a second time.
Let it go. Two point oh.
Not altering the paradigm.”

“Kids are gonna repeat it over and over anyway.”

I don’t know how many episodes of The Crown I’ve seen now, but they’re sure taking their time in building up to her saying her famous phrase “Off with his head!”

My 4yo pulled off a perfect “Hug!” and then punched me in the belly as soon as I opened my arms wide. I didn’t see it coming at all. I’m very proud.

“I’d like to introduce the Cybertruck!”
“Jim Wallace, Associated Press. Is this a joke?”
“Far from it, Jim. This the future of trucks.”
“Toby Hunter, Minneapolis Star. No really, is this a joke?”
“No more questions about whether this is a joke.”

I’ve heard a rumor that a bloated, mediocre blockbuster has a still bloated but slightly less mediocre cut by the original director. This is important to me.

I could see driving the Cybertruck on Mars, but on a U.S. highway we’d have a slew of auto accidents as drivers died from embarrassment.

Still, if you know any cyborg rednecks, they might love it. Hopefully there’s an optional laser rifle rack you can add to the truck bed.

The Crown makes me not want to read about history. Like I looked up Lord Mountbatten on Wikipedia and got a huge spoiler for next season.

The Cybertruck: The only commercially available truck that can be used as product placement in The Mandalorian without completely taking you out of it.

I swear Elon Musk made the Cybertruck because he loves memes so much.
“This will make the internet hilarious!”

What is the “cyber” in “Cybertruck”? It’s this. It’s already improved the internet from all us dunking on it.

I’m pretty much a free speech absolutist with just one exception: Things I disagree with

Know who I never cared for?
Adolf Hitler.

Some people are saying I stole this from Norm MacDonald, but I checked and he wasn’t even the first person to express disapproval of Hitler.

Looking through the seasons of The Simpsons, 1st season they’re figuring things out, 2nd season start to gel, and third season on it’s pure home runs where I can remember multiple great gags every episode.

I’d say the first great gag (and you can certainly dispute me on this) was in the last episode of the 2nd season.
“Hello. I’m Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.”

There is one joke from the very first episode that’s always stuck with me, though. That when Marge is writing the Christmas card.
“Lisa got straight As again, Maggie is walking, and Bart… we love Bart.”

I didn’t realize it until today, but one of my parents was actually Silent Generation (born the year before the cut off, just like I was for Gen X). I just assumed I was raised by Boomers.

The problem with out political system is you can only punish one party per election when what we need is a way to constantly punish both parties.

It’s like someone mugged you and someone stole your car and you have to choose one to go to prison and one to get $10,000. That’s not going to convince people to stop robbing you.

Man, the Baby Yoda animatronic is pretty crucial to the success of The Mandalorian. If were a Disney executive, I don’t know how I’d react to the pitch of the whole series being about Boba Fett protecting a puppet.
And I wonder if we’ll find out more about Jango Fett. The Mandalorians make a big deal about never taking off their helmets, but obviously Jango did not share those concerns. Were he (and maybe his clone Boba) outcasts?

Whoever came up with the concept of Baby Yoda needs to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Just realized what Carl Weathers calls the Mandalorian — “Mando” — is just one letter off from “Manco” — what the bounty hunter Man with No Name was called in For a Few Dollars More.

As much as I thought The Last Jedi was a terrible misstep, I’m not against Rian Johnson still getting his own Star Wars trilogy. He was horrible at doing the middle part of a trilogy, but he might do something interesting out on his own.

Was discussing how complicated a modern controller is with sixteen buttons, and I told my daughter how in my first video game system, you had one joystick and one button.
“What? How could you do anything?”

It is weird they didn’t immediately realize how limited that was.
“So, there’s one button, which can be either jump or shoot.”
“What if in a game you wanted to be able to both jump and shoot?”
“The human brain would not be able to handle such complex possibilities.”

Anyway, I started Red Dead Redemption 2 on PC with an XBox controller, and it makes use of all sixteen buttons, with sometimes a tap being different than a long press and it making a difference what they do based on the situation you’re in (combat versus riding a horse).
I feel like a need a giant cheat sheet to hang on the wall to know what to do. They give you a little tutorial the first time you do something — like hand to hand combat — but then it’s like a day before you’re back in that situation and it’s like “Wait; what do I do again?”
“Okay, what button calms the horse? I tried all the buttons and accidentally shot a rock. …Oh yeah, the joysticks are also buttons.”

For the record, here’s my sixteen button count: Four face buttons, four shoulder buttons, start and select (though they’re not called that anymore), the four digital pad directions, and the two joysticks which can be pressed as buttons.

“The Cowboys are playing the most evil team in the NFL.”
“What do you mean evil, daddy? Teams are just teams.”
“Oh, naive little girl…”

Gotta hand it to Jon Favreau; he’s given Star Wars fans exactly what they’ve always wanted, and with Baby Yoda, given them what they never knew they needed.

my daughter is playing with the Swift Playgrounds app which teaches you basic programming and starts laughing
“What if I had a function call itself?”
“Oh, dear sweet child, you don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to ask me a question like that.”

It seems like 90% of a toothpaste tube’s life is spent on its last 10%.

What I liked about shows when I was a kid is that they’d have ridiculous premises but there’d be no origin story and we kids never thought to ask for one.
“It’s a bunch of teenagers in a van with a talking dog solving mysteries. Any questions?”
“No. That seems reasonable.”

“He’s a sort of cyborg inspector with a bunch of gadgets inside him fighting badguys or something. Are you curious about how he came about or anything?”
“No.”

I’m not sure how I’d pet a hero dog any different than a regular dog. I’m all in every time I pet a dog. They’re all the best.

Politics no longer interests me now that I’ve found all the correct views on all the politics.

Does Warren have a plan for everyone realizing her plans are dumb?

Some people say you should avoid talking about The Last Jedi at Thanksgiving, but if any of your relatives think it’s a good Star Wars movie, it’s your moral duty to explain to them what horrible people they are.

Just keep trying to find ways to work it into the conversation.
“Wow. These mash potatoes sure are good… unlike The Last Jedi, which was bad.”

How to talk to your relatives about impeachment at Thanksgiving:
1. Put on Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
2. When Trump appears on screen, yell, “That’s the guy! That’s the guy I want to impeach! Bob Trump, or something.”

“Thanks to Disney+, we can now watch all three Star Wars movies in 4K HDR.”
“Daddy, there are eight Star Wars movies.”
“GO TO YOUR ROOM!”

My favorite Star Wars moment with my kids was my daughter seeing Anakin get turned into Darth Vader and she exclaimed “Anakin got turned into Star Wars!”

“Hey, we need to hide Luke from his father.”
“Okay. Let’s give him to his father’s step family and have him keep the same last name of his father.”

I prefer the original version of the Han Solo/Greedo confrontation where Han sneaks into Greedo’s room and shoots him in the head while he’s sleeping.

My 4yo really loved the Gargoyles show and keeps running around saying, “I’m Goliath!” For some reason, she doesn’t want to pretend to be the one girl gargoyle.

If you really do feel a compelling need to talk politics at Thanksgiving, that’s very good evidence you’re a horrible human being and thus all your politics are bad.

De Niro? As a mobster? This I gotta see!

No. Wait. It’s by that guy who said a talking raccoon teaming up with a tree wasn’t “cinema.” Boycott!

Did the media figure out whether the Trump boxing image was doctored and what the purpose of such subterfuge would be?

I don’t know what I think of the way The Crown takes some liberties with history to increase drama, like the way the 3rd season ends revealing Hitler is still alive and seeking vengeance against the royal family.

Watching the Netflix’s The Knight Before Christmas with my wife, and judging by the writing, this is how it came about:
“We need you to write a movie called ‘The Knight Before Christmas’ — but it’s Knight with a K.”
“Okay, how long do I have?”
“We start filming in 10 minutes.”

I don’t have strong feeling on the Chick-fil-A thing, but I find it a bit sad if they abandoned the Salvation Army because of the urging of a bunch of people who like to yell and scream but were never going to help the homeless.

On Dagobah, they have all these fantastical creatures but also snakes. Always seemed a little lazy to me.
Is that the only regular animal in Star Wars (other than humans)?

I keep being surprised networks still have TV shows. Who watches those?

I have a lot to be thankful for this year.

Know what’s a small thing Apple could do which would have a big impact? Make stronger charge cords. But as far as I know, they make all their money selling replacement cords.

journalists reacting to the Trump photoshop
“This photo of Trump — he is so powerful in it! We will never defeat him! …Wait, this photo is a deception! Does Trump’s treachery know no bounds?”

Our 4yo said our baby is even cuter than Baby Yoda which was sweet of her to say, but come on.

I hear Rian Johnson’s movie Knives Out is really good but it also somehow further ruins Star Wars.

I kind of want to be done with the Cowboys now but they’re still number one in their division.

If you think Lincoln was better than Trump, then how come Lincoln never made a billion dollars?

I hope VidAngel has The Irishman so I can remove any scenes involving Italians.

“But Palpatine, aren’t the Jedi good and the Sith bad?”
“Anakin, things aren’t quite that black and white.”
“Hmm. Good point. So should I murder all the kids at the Jedi temple?”
“Oh… wow… sure. I really thought this was going to take more convincing than that.”

“Only the Sith deal in absolutes… other than the absolute that the Sith are the only ones who deal in absolutes, as that is an absolute accepted by lots of non-Sith, but any absolute beyond that is just the Sith.”

“Anakin, your journey to the dark side is complete.”
“Yep, I killed all the kids at the Jedi temple.”
“Wait… you WHAT?! Why?”
“‘Cause… ‘cause I’m on the dark side.”
“We shoot lighting out our fingers; we’re not serial killers. What is wrong… I’m calling the police.”

How can they find so many people willing to kill Baby Yoda? Even Anakin wouldn’t have been willing to kill Baby Yoda.

Trump is brash and crude, but he’s likely to win in 2020 because people are going to look at him and say here’s someone who is tough enough to protect Baby Yoda.

The special edition change to Star Wars that annoys me the most is the loss of the Yub Nub song. It’s the one big subtraction from the changes.
I get thematically why it was done—you want to show it’s a galaxy-wide celebration—but the Yub Nub song is just gone and that’s wrong.

And while we’re talking about ROTJ, why would you bring C3PO on a stealth mission?

Also, if rescuing Han from Jabba went exactly as they planned, what would have happened?

Biden unveiling his “No Malarkey” slogan is a bit like a Trump tweet in that I had to check and recheck and recheck again to make sure I wasn’t falling for a parody tweet.

“Malarkey is a gateway to shenanigans… and if you don’t put a cork in that, soon you’ll be drowning in horse feathers.”

Greedo is going on a “No Maclunkey” tour.

Probably the best thing Warner Bros. could do with Superman is sell him to the MCU.

The heavy lifting of the 4th episode of the Mandalorian is making an AT-ST seem intimidating. The Ewoks in Return of the Jedi kind of ruined that.

I really love the theme for the Mandalorian. Starts kind of westerny and ends with a more epic adventure feel like you expect from Star Wars.

Yeah, 4th episode was weakest so far, which isn’t to say it was bad. How can anything be bad with that much Baby Yoda in it?

My problem with the 4th episode of The Mandalorian clicked into place when I saw it compared to an episode of Xena: Warrior Princess. It just felt cheaper and the sort of filler conflict you’d have in a 22 episode season. Liked the character development, though.

I don’t think that stationary bike ad was very good as that woman didn’t look any thinner at the end.

I don’t know who Lisa Page is or what that’s all about and I’m just too tired to look it up. If it’s important, it will be in the critically acclaimed movie about these events 10 to 20 years from now.

“Hmm. All these apes speak English. I wonder if I just came back to Earth in the future. I’ll keep an eye out for blown up landmarks as further evidence.”