Yes, I got these off a website:
- How have my behaviors changed?
- How have my feelings changed?
- Do I still find joy in the things that once brought me joy?
- Am I being irritable or snapping at people?
- Am I really down more than I usually am?
- Do I find that I’m catastrophizing more than I usually do?
- Am I avoiding people?
Look at your body
- How am I sleeping?
- Am I eating well?
- Am I grinding my teeth?
- Do I feel muscle tension in my neck or shoulders?
- Am I being active the way I usually am?
I don’t know why these struck me as funny.
(I do know why they struck me as stupid.)
Just curious how you’d answer — in this particular year.
Whether you answer or not: Look at your body, dammit!
“So nice” – G. Rivera
“You want it, don’t you?” – A. Wiener
“I can’t see below my navel” – H . Weinstein
“Zoom!” — Toober
Note that they don’t ask (significantly, I think): “Are you holding a pistol to your temple?”
These are questions that also should be floated.
I had a business partner that used the term crispy to indicate how tense someone was. Ex: “I’ve been crispy with everyone lately. I need a vacation.” I thought it was a good word.
Those questions look like they’re trying to assess depression or maybe stress. I read an article a couple of months back in which a dentist said that he’s getting patients who snapped off a tooth about once a week. Prior to the Wuhan Flu hysteria, he said it was maybe half a dozen in a year. People are crispy.
How have my behaviors changed? Who wants to know, punk.
How have my feelings changed? Surly to bed, surly to rise…
Do I still find joy in the things that once brought me joy? Only the naughty ones.
Am I being irritable or snapping at people? Just the stupid ones. Well, everybody I guess.
Am I really down more than I usually am? But I’m also much more funky.
Do I find that I’m catastrophizing more than I usually do? No, I am not a Liberal.
Am I avoiding people? Just you.
Look at your body Like some kind of perv?
How am I sleeping? Call 1-800-SNORING.
Am I eating well? Compared to what?
Am I grinding my teeth? Do dentures count?
Do I feel muscle tension in my neck or shoulders? Not after the hookers and blow.
Am I being active the way I usually am? Yes, especially after the hookers and blow.
How have my behaviors changed?
I now put my left shoe on before the right shoe.
How have my feelings changed?
My general disdain for humanity has been joined by a general disdain for huwomanity.
Do I still find joy in the things that once brought me joy?
I can no longer stand the NFL, but puppy dog smiles are eternal.
Am I being irritable or snapping at people?
I am a font of patience, though I do think it is a civic responsibility to snap at stupid people.
Am I really down more than I usually am? Still live on the second floor, and we don’t even have a basement.
Do I find that I’m catastrophizing more than I usually do?
This question caused a panic attack.
Am I avoiding people?
Let’s just say that I am really good at this social distancing thing.
How am I sleeping?
Lying down.
Am I eating well?
It ain’t exactly Delmonico’s, but it isn’t T-rations either.
Am I grinding my teeth?
Not since I lost my Dremel tool.
Do I feel muscle tension in my neck or shoulders?
Nope. Just tendon tension.
Am I being active the way I usually am?
Other than a need, (okay, maybe not a need per se, but in accomodating the wishes of some close friends,) to avoid going out during a full moon, yep.
How have my behaviors changed?I try to be nicer to people, because you just can’t tell who is going to go psycho
How have my feelings changed? Feelings, nothing more than feelings…
Do I still find joy in the things that once brought me joy?Not since I switched to Dawn
Am I being irritable or snapping at people?What am I, a turtle?
Am I really down more than I usually am?Been down so long, it looks like up to me
Do I find that I’m catastrophizing more than I usually do?I let the world take care of that, thank you!
Am I avoiding people?No, they mostly avoid me
Look at your body You mean like body of work, or what?
How am I sleeping?Like a baby – sleep a few hours, cry a few hours
Am I eating well?Does fast food and ice cream count?
Am I grinding my teeth?No, only my nose, on the grindstone
Do I feel muscle tension in my neck or shoulders?Feelings, nothing more than feelings…
Am I being active the way I usually am?You mean hyper?
The answers to questions like these are irrelevant. The relevant question is: If the answer to any of these questions is concerning, what is the solution?
Solution to any/all: Relaxing with the dog and a glass of bourbon.
Does the dog drink as well?
She’s high on life