Archive of entries posted on March 2021

“… Unless, of Course, You’d Like To Try the Satan Shoes.”

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Title and image submitted by Les:

Try reading the title in the voice of Dr. Evil.

“Do they come in . . . shark-skin?”

You don’t tie them; you apply a tourniquet.

White sells; Red sells.

I really have no idea where this marketing idea came from. Or from wince it came. Was there some demographic making a racket for shoes tainted with bio-waste? Or is the demographic the bio-waste, and the shoes the racket?

Sick’ll Sell a Media.

“Get the New Improved High-Leper Running Sores(tm) — the Converse of What You Want – Before Our Sales Fall Completely Off!”

Nope.

Coming soon: Arteriosclerosis Clogs.

“Leave Someone ELSE’s Blood at a Crime Scene For Once, You Insane Dolt!” — Usain Bolt, for Satan Shoes (paid Endors-mint)

“Uh-Uh, Don’t Step on Those Blue-State Shoes.”

“666: The Linda Blair Jordans”

How about Hitler’s Heil Heels? Is there a market for them?

Charles Manson Sneak-ers? Tetanus Shoes?

Dumb and Dahmer.

Buyer beware: they have no souls.

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Myeh… Call Me Just a Tad Skeptical

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… Beginning with the name of the source.

Ingestible Beauty: New Study Investigates the Effects of Daily Almond Consumption on Facial Wrinkles and Skin Pigmentation
PR Newswire | March 17, 2021

Research shows reduced measures of wrinkle severity and improved pigment intensity in postmenopausal women with Fitzpatrick skin types I-II who ate almonds as a daily snack.

New research suggests that there may be more than one reason to add almonds to your daily skincare routine.

A new study by researchers at the University of California, Davis, found that eating almonds daily in place of typical calorie-matched snacks improved measures of both wrinkle severity and skin pigmentation in postmenopausal women.

The study was funded by the Almond Board of California . . .

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Straight Line of the Day: China Is Trying To Make Fun of Biden. Other Slogans They Might Consider: …

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China Selling Swag Celebrating Victory Over Biden Diplomats in Alaska
Breitbart | 23 Mar 2021 | Gabrielle Reyes

Chinese e-commerce platforms are selling “T-shirts, umbrellas, handbags, lighters, and mobile phone cases” emblazoned with phrases used by Chinese Politburo member Yang Jiechi during a fiery exchange with U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken in Alaska last week.

Some of the hilarious slogans:

“Chinese people won’t swallow this,”

“The U.S. has no qualification to talk down to China,”

and “Stop interfering in China’s internal affairs,”

are some of Yang’s Alaska summit zingers.

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Babesleaga Week 5: Results and Standings

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Another week in the books and it’s Spring! Yippee!

Results

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
195 votes · 195 answers
Vote

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
178 votes · 178 answers
Vote

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
194 votes · 194 answers
Vote

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
202 votes · 202 answers
Vote

Standings

ContestantsRecordTotal Points
Joan Severance5 – 0 – 0595
Traci Lords4 – 1 – 0582
Caroline Munro3 – 2 – 0502
Shannon Tweed3 – 2 – 0499
Sybil Danning2 – 3 – 0433
Linda Blair2 – 3 – 0406
Adrianne Barbeau1 – 4 – 0520
Brigitte Nielsen0 – 5 – 0185

Polls nor next week close on Sunday April 4th at 9:00 am.

  • 10:00 am Adrianne Barbeau vs Linda Blair
  • 2:00 pm Traci Lords vs Caroline Munro
  • 6:00 pm Sybil Danning vs Shannon Tweed
  • 8:00 pm Brigitte Nielsen vs Joan Severance.

More Alarming News: Pandas

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Cute, cuddly pandas:

Aww… They love bamboo.

Too much:

So they have studied the problem, and come up with an electro-nuclear GMO solution:

… and built on that knowledge to create cold fusion to produce kumquats as well:

… but — fortunately for us — have run into major difficulties with their Large Hadron Collider.

… But it’s only a matter of time.

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Song Parody: Robinette Palmer

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♩♩♩

The lights are on, but you’re not home.
Your mind is not your own.
Surrogates? Forget it, Jake;
It’s China loans, that’s all it takes.

You can’t speak. You did cheat.
There’s no doubt. The state is deep.
Fraud is tight. The news feeds.
One more trip is all they need.

Whoa-oh, you’d like us to think that you’re not wearing that stuff, oh yeah
(It makes you feel closer to girls who are still in them, though)
You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to Luvs

You stare at stairs. They impede.
You two ascend. At different speeds.
You’re imploding. Double-time.
Another miss. Kamala’s primed. (A one-track mind)

You can’t be saved ~
Oblivion after you cave ~
If there’s some Left for you ~
You’ve lost your freaking mind, and you’ve lost them, too.

Whoa-oh, you like to think that you’re immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It’s closer to the truth to say you aren’t very tough:
You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to LIVs

Might as well face it, you’re addicted to Luvs
Might as well face it, you’ll be evicted soon enough . . .

♪ ♪

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