Straight Line of the Day: New Year’s Resolution Posted by Oppo on 1 December 2021, 12:00 pm We at IMAO know you’ll be overwhelmed with requests for these in the final four, so: Straight Line of the Day: New Year’s Resolution
…determine how many walruses you can fit in a large wooden badger… (I’m guessing something less than one) Reply to this comment
To crush my enemies. See them driven before me. And to hear the lamentations of their women. Oh, and drop 10 pounds. 3 Reply to this comment
I will pledge my allegiance once again to Delta House and swear to defeat the Summa Cum Laudies once in for all. 1 Reply to this comment
btw, that litter box is lookin’ like a giant tollhouse cookie, please notify your wait staff. 1 Reply to this comment
Get a job where I can sit at home, working from home on a computer, drinking a beer. Nailed that one. I’m set. 4 Reply to this comment
I’ll be really late, then forget the question entirely and drone on about a series of random topics until my handlers shut things down and take me away again… 3 Reply to this comment
… Work “whilst” into my conversation more. … Put everything else on hold whilst developing my Rock’m Sock’em Robot skills in a Rock’em Balboa-type montage. Reply to this comment
I resolve that I will no longer be embarrassed to wear pajamas in public. Oh, and lose 10 pounds. 2 Reply to this comment
…isn’t happening until next month if it happens at all.
…to follow my dream… to become… a… lumberjack!
Oh Nigel!
You’re OK!
…to expect the Spanish Inquisition.
Work on my apologies as a white person.
not
…determine how many walruses you can fit in a large wooden badger… (I’m guessing something less than one)
Walruses prefer large wooden Rabbits.
The ears can be fitted to the tusks.
To dream the impossible dream…
To crush my enemies. See them driven before me. And to hear the lamentations of their women.
Oh, and drop 10 pounds.
Change my name to Basil just to confuse the $h!t out of everyone.
Don’t you mean Basil?
I will pledge my allegiance once again to Delta House and swear to defeat the Summa Cum Laudies once in for all.
New Year’s Resolution…4K I think.
Use hexadecimal numbers in everyday life.
I thought we already did….
“To be or not to be equals FF”
Pick a good day to stop sniffing glue.
I hereby resolve to stop making promises I have no interest in keeping.
1) Eat more tuna.
2) Sleep 17 hours a day, minimum.
3) Catch that red dot.
btw, that litter box is lookin’ like a giant tollhouse cookie, please notify your wait staff.
Looks like Mission accomplished to me.
…visit the Fake Rock Ridge… Bring along a whole mess of dimes.
…participate in the great emu round up of 2022.
“Let’s dance.”
Update resumes
…stop blaming everything on aliens.
So you’re saying it’s not Aliens then?
He’s not saying it’s not aliens…but it’s not aliens.
Well, of course it’s aliens. I’m just not going to say that it’s aliens.
…develop a kick-ass recipe for veal parmigiana.
…more “tank,” less “demon.”
…one Harvey Award per
dayweekmonth.Lifetime.
Get a job where I can sit at home, working from home on a computer, drinking a beer. Nailed that one. I’m set.
I’ll be really late, then forget the question entirely and drone on about a series of random topics until my handlers shut things down and take me away again…
I resolve to not split my infinitives.
… Work “whilst” into my conversation more.
… Put everything else on hold whilst developing my Rock’m Sock’em Robot skills in a Rock’em Balboa-type montage.
Whilst thou remain betwixt and between for this futile quest?
.. New ambition: work “betwixt” into more (non-candy-related) conversations.
I resolve that I will no longer be embarrassed to wear pajamas in public.
Oh, and lose 10 pounds.
… party like it’s 1999 again.