30 Comments

  1. P.R. person for Harry Fink:

    Psaki: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Refreshment Room here at Bletchley. (applause) My name is Jen Psaki and I’m your compère for tonight.

    You know, once in a while it is my pleasure, and my privilege, to welcome here at the Refreshment Room, some of the truly great international artists of our time. (applause)

    And tonight we have one such artist. (grovelling)

    Ladies and gentlemen, someone whom I’ve always personally admired, perhaps more deeply, more strongly, more abjectly than ever before. (applause)

    A man — well, more than a man, a god (applause) — a great god, whose personality is so totally and utterly wonderful my feeble words of welcome sound wretchedly and pathetically inadequate. (by now on her knees)

    Someone whose boots I would gladly lick clean until holes wore through my tongue, a man who is so totally and utterly wonderful, that I would rather be sealed in a pit of my own filth, than dare tread on the same stage with him.

    Ladies and gentlemen, the incomparably superior human being, Harry Fink!

    [Voice Off-Camera]: He can’t come!

    Psaki: Never mind, he’s not all he’s cracked up to be.

  2. Less degrading career as a CNN anchor? Journalism Professor? Women’s studies department chair? Her opportunities are endless. Just about anything is less degrading. She could even research and help star in Disgusting Jobs (but Mike Rowe probably wouldn’t hire her. She has the experience but not the talent)

  3. …Tour guide at the Museum of Democratic Party Accomplishments…normally takes one point five minutes but her baffle gab will stretch it to an hour so paying customers wont complain about the entry ” donations”…

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