FEMA’s Help for Alaska Natives Had Mistranslations, Nonsense
AP | 13 Jan 2023 | Mark ThiessenANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — After tidal surges and high winds from the remnants of a rare typhoon caused extensive damage to homes along Alaska’s western coast in September, the U.S. government stepped in to help residents — largely Alaska Natives — repair property damage.
Residents who opened Federal Emergency Management Agency paperwork expecting to find instructions on how to file for aid in Alaska Native languages like Yup’ik or Inupiaq instead were reading bizarre phrases.
“Tomorrow he will go hunting very early, and will (bring) nothing,” read one passage. The translator randomly added the word “Alaska” in the middle of the sentence.
“Your husband is a polar bear, skinny,” another said.
Straight Line of the Day: FEMA’s advice to the rest of us: …
FEMA’s Advice to the Rest of Us: … Ladies and Gentlemen take our advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
FEMA’s Advice to the Rest of Us: …
When in danger,
Or in doubt,
Run in circles,
Scream and shout.
FEMA’s advice to the rest of us: …
REMEMBER THE ALAMO!
because if we had been there, the Texicans would have won and we would have had tequila for everyone including all the people living on the Riverwalk.
… “Your husbands are all giant badgers, Fat!”…
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
… “Beware the dog-faced pony soldiers…”
… “We are the government, and we are here to help…”
That’s the biggest lie of them all. The second biggest: “And we’re glad you’re here.”
FEMA’s Advice to the Rest of Us: … Mistakes were made.
“Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.”
…will require the Bidenspeak to English translator.
Not a joke!
FEMA’s advice to the rest of us: …
…just learn Spanish already.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, All men and women created by — you know, you know, the thing.
Feel lucky. We’re sure we counted all six shots.
You forgot the one in the chamber!
So did Alex Baldwin.
Ask again later
Cannot predict now
Concentrate and ask again
It is decidedly so
My reply is no
Outlook good
Outlook not so good
Reply hazy try again
Signs point to yes
Yes, definitely
You may rely on it
Hamilton didn’t shoot first.
Small change can often be found under sofa cushions.
FEMA’s advice to the rest of us: …
“We are determined that we were going to deal with climate change, Have zero net emissions by 2050. By 2020, make sure all our electricity is zero emissions.”
FEMA’s advice to the rest of us: …
“Who doesn’t love a yellow school bus, right? Can you raise your hand if you love a yellow school bus? Many of us went to school on the yellow school bus, right? It’s part of our experience growing up,”
FEMA’s advice to the rest of us: …
“I love Venn diagrams. I do. I love Venn diagrams. So, the three circles — and you can do more! Nobody says a Venn diagram has to only be three circles, right?”
…but definitely learn how to use the Three Shells.
F#$% you, you F$%ing @#$%, your face smells like $%^ motha F$(er. B$%^$ A$$ F#@#ing $&%stain. Oh, this one feels dirty, so…F&^ off B&^%$. That should finish the job. I’m a paper for life kinda guy.
FEMA’s advice to the rest of us: …
Is far less useful.
Trust your government, to…
Continue close captioning orgies and voting on that as legislation.
Get rid of amateurs like George Santos.
See the enemy, and it is you. You are wanted, by Uncle Sam.
…Send Lawyers, Guns, and money… The Szit has hit the fan.
FEMA’s advice to the rest of us: …
Klaatu barada nikto!
Trans.– Thank you from the heart of our bottom.